I Think I Need Help
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
A very good start, Smithy. Depression and booze do not mix well (so says the expert- who has major depression). Perhaps see a GP about your general health. Meetings help me- and SR is part of my daily routine- wake up, make coffee- log onto SR. There are so many supportive people here- we support each other, and that is it's strength. Look around the forums- the sticky's in the newcomers forum has lots of info- including making a plan for recovery. I tried by willpower for years- and just hoped it would work out. If I go on a road trip- I plan. Recovery for me is like that. What to do- what not to do, how to cope with cravings, stress etc.
My support to you.
My support to you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's great to have you join us, Smithssss. I drank 30 yrs. & never imagined my life without it. When I found SR I found the courage & strength to let go of it. It feels wonderful to be free. You can do it. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I am battling my alcoholism and comorbid disorder (ADHD). I think many of us here probably are battling a co-morbid disorder. For myself, knowing that I am not alone out there really helps. You are not alone.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 183
Welcome. We have all been there in one way or another. I did horrible things when i drank. I was a monster to my husband too. Its so depressing. But you can change that. I also have horrible anxiety and depression ocd you name it. I truthfully feel and have heard time and time again alcohol only makes these problems worse or even causes them. So try to post here more, find a meeting whatever works for you to occupy your mind. I bet you will see life is much more enjoyable without booze. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
You are in the right place!
I also suffer from depression and anxiety, and drinking was like pouring gasoline on a fire. It only intensified all of those feelings and I saw my physical well-being declining as well.
Not to mention what our family and friends see, when we black out. People start to know more about you than you do, and that is a scary place to be.
Sounds like you are starting to see and really understand the negative impacts drinking has on all aspects of your life. That's what this disease does, it will progress and the bottle will have lost it's magic.
Keep this feeling you have RIGHT NOW fresh in your mind, stay close to it because it will be a continual reminder of where you do not want to go ever again. And you know what? You never have to feel like this again. You never have to drink again. What a great concept
Keep logging on here, this family is very dear and supportive and loving and you get what you give away here.
Rooting for you.
Nic.
I also suffer from depression and anxiety, and drinking was like pouring gasoline on a fire. It only intensified all of those feelings and I saw my physical well-being declining as well.
Not to mention what our family and friends see, when we black out. People start to know more about you than you do, and that is a scary place to be.
Sounds like you are starting to see and really understand the negative impacts drinking has on all aspects of your life. That's what this disease does, it will progress and the bottle will have lost it's magic.
Keep this feeling you have RIGHT NOW fresh in your mind, stay close to it because it will be a continual reminder of where you do not want to go ever again. And you know what? You never have to feel like this again. You never have to drink again. What a great concept
Keep logging on here, this family is very dear and supportive and loving and you get what you give away here.
Rooting for you.
Nic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Staffordshire, England
Posts: 12
Thank you all so much for your messages. It's really touched me how honest and open and incredibly supportive everyone is. I still haven't spoken to my family who saw me the last night I drank, I'm admittedly avoidant but I have referred myself to more therapy and have an appointment scheduled with my Dr. I think I'm scared of being judged and feeling the shame of admitting I have a problem, like it tarnishes me as a person. My behaviour when in a blackout is unrecognisable to who I am when sober, it's devastating to be seen that way by anyone let alone my family. I know now that the only way to keep it from manifesting is to remain abstinent. It is so helpful to hear from so many who can empathise and who have so much strength and wisdom. I will definitely keep coming back here. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 546
It's probably been said above, Smithssss, but you may wish to join the Class of February 2020 thread if you haven't already done so. Join means: Show up. (I did the January 2020 one, and have found it very helpful to share the experience with a crew going through the similar earliest days of this sobriety thing.)
And of course the rest of the SR website. Explore various posts; you will learn so much about the rewards and challenges of maintaining a sober life. And yes, post often, either in your own threads or in others. You learn a lot about yourself by putting down on paper (well, e-paper) your observations, reflections, aspirations, and the rest, and sharing them with others.
Welcome aboard the sober train, Smithssss. You don't need no baggage, you just get on board.
And of course the rest of the SR website. Explore various posts; you will learn so much about the rewards and challenges of maintaining a sober life. And yes, post often, either in your own threads or in others. You learn a lot about yourself by putting down on paper (well, e-paper) your observations, reflections, aspirations, and the rest, and sharing them with others.
Welcome aboard the sober train, Smithssss. You don't need no baggage, you just get on board.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,160
Smithssss it is normal to fear being labeled in a negative way.
Not to be harsh but if your behavior is as bad as you say they probably already see your problem.
The only way to fix that is doing what you have now set out to do and that is get sober and become the real you 24/7.
It ain't easy but you can do it!
Not to be harsh but if your behavior is as bad as you say they probably already see your problem.
The only way to fix that is doing what you have now set out to do and that is get sober and become the real you 24/7.
It ain't easy but you can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 464
Originally Posted by Smithssss 
Thank you all so much for your messages. It's really touched me how honest and open and incredibly supportive everyone is. I still haven't spoken to my family who saw me the last night I drank, I'm admittedly avoidant but I have referred myself to more therapy and have an appointment scheduled with my Dr. I think I'm scared of being judged and feeling the shame of admitting I have a problem, like it tarnishes me as a person. My behaviour when in a blackout is unrecognisable to who I am when sober, it's devastating to be seen that way by anyone let alone my family. I know now that the only way to keep it from manifesting is to remain abstinent. It is so helpful to hear from so many who can empathise and who have so much strength and wisdom. I will definitely keep coming back here. Thanks again.
I was finally upfront with my doctor about my addiction....and discovered he's one of my biggest sobriety supporters. Felt good to be honest with him....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Staffordshire, England
Posts: 12
ZIP Yeah... I have a weird habit of doing that. I'll go to therapy or my Dr for a mental health problem, yet give it the "high functioning" I'm OK ******** talk for some reason even though I know deep down inside, I'm aching. I'm gonna stop doing that now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 464
Originally Posted by Smithssss
ZIP Yeah... I have a weird habit of doing that. I'll go to therapy or my Dr for a mental health problem, yet give it the "high functioning" I'm OK ******** talk for some reason even though I know deep down inside, I'm aching. I'm gonna stop doing that now.
Be thoroughly candid. Folks are there to help--not judge.
I genuinely felt better just finally being honest with my doctor.
Let us know how it turns out!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 62
I quit alcohol because I was going past a 6 pack and getting to around a 12 pack (10 beers). You don't have to be in legal trouble or financial trouble to quit. I just made the decision one day that I was going to take a break then I made the decision to quit. I may not have been as bad off as many others I've seen in documentaries and such, but I just made the decision to quit alcohol.
Back around December 1st I made the decision to quit all together. I haven't had hard liquid in 7 months or so and haven't had alcohol in 3.5 months.
I just made the decision to quit myself.
No one told me to quit. No one told me to change. No one told me anything. Just made the decision to quit. It was for the best for me in the long run is what I figured to be alcohol free.
If you think it is a problem I'd recommend quitting, but I can't tell you anything. You have to make that decision for yourself. Hopefully it works out for you.
Back around December 1st I made the decision to quit all together. I haven't had hard liquid in 7 months or so and haven't had alcohol in 3.5 months.
I just made the decision to quit myself.
No one told me to quit. No one told me to change. No one told me anything. Just made the decision to quit. It was for the best for me in the long run is what I figured to be alcohol free.
If you think it is a problem I'd recommend quitting, but I can't tell you anything. You have to make that decision for yourself. Hopefully it works out for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
I remember being so dishonest with everything in my life, because it all revolved around alcohol and no one could know!
I got honest about my intentions with my doctor, my blood pressure was sky high, cholesterol through the roof and my eyes were yellow, i had gained 30 pounds in less than 5 months. All signs were pointing to the fact that I was not ok.
Like it was said above, she supports me one hundred percent and even got emotional when she saw me four months later...she said i looked like a different person and she hugged me. It brings tears to my eyes that someone could see and appreciate such a change. I check in with her and she keeps encouraging me and helping me out.
Things like that start to happen, these beautiful things when you get honest.
Life can continue and actually become beautiful without alcohol. It has been my experience that life has become so full and so rich and meaningful, it is bursting at the seams. I hope this for you.
Rooting for you
Nic.
I got honest about my intentions with my doctor, my blood pressure was sky high, cholesterol through the roof and my eyes were yellow, i had gained 30 pounds in less than 5 months. All signs were pointing to the fact that I was not ok.
Like it was said above, she supports me one hundred percent and even got emotional when she saw me four months later...she said i looked like a different person and she hugged me. It brings tears to my eyes that someone could see and appreciate such a change. I check in with her and she keeps encouraging me and helping me out.
Things like that start to happen, these beautiful things when you get honest.
Life can continue and actually become beautiful without alcohol. It has been my experience that life has become so full and so rich and meaningful, it is bursting at the seams. I hope this for you.
Rooting for you
Nic.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
