AwkwardKitty

Day 57 here. It's been largely a positive experience for me the past couple of weeks.
However I can feel myself hitting a bit of a wall..not severely...but am recognising some of my trigger points.
I'm extremely tired, having worked 32 hours in 3 days this week. I worked 8am to 9pm yesterday, got home and ate cereal for dinner, slept and was back at work by 7.45am. I didn't see my son yesterday due to a long working day.
I'm hungry as I've been too busy to eat touch properly.
I'm very stressed as my workload is unmanageable, my brain is so cloudy I can barely think.
I'm fed up of working so hard!

All these I know are risk points for me. I've had fleeting thoughts about drinking, nothing too severe and all consuming, but I can feel the thoughts forming and I want to catch it before it escalates.

Remind me of why I'm doing this! How do you all cope with your triggers?

hail

Sounds like you need a “me” day. Call in sick. Your sobriety is worth more than money. Work stress was one of my main triggers too. I’m in the US so we have PTO days and when I’ve felt the AV really on my shoulders I have used one and stayed in my pjs and drank Diet Coke and played with the kids.

2ndhandrose

Hi AK

I have one firm and fast rule in life and that is I don't drink, no matter what.

I have accepted that drinking will always lead to unhappiness for me. There will never, ever be an exception so I don't need to test it.

Have you heard of HALT?

Hungry? Eat.
Angry? Find a way to calm yourself.
Lonely? Seek out some support or company.
Tired? Rest.

It sounds like you have the hungry and tired triggers. What can you do to address those two things?

Edited to add - Good for you posting, that in itself is a positive step!

AwkwardKitty

Thanks Hail!
I dont work Thursdays and Fridays as I look after my little boy so I shall be doing the same tomorrow. I work long days mon to weds so I can have 2 days off but this week my days have been longer than normal.
Part of me knows this is also a danger as my AV says I can "afford" to be hungover. Even though I know that's bs.

Robbie64

Those are very long hours AwkwardKitty. As yourself and 2ndhandrose mention you're hungry and tired. Those two, plus stress that you also mention, are very big triggers for me. Hopefully having a couple of days off will help refresh you and will help refocus your mind.

It's better to have two days off work with a clear head than being hungover - by the time your hangover clears and you start to feel better it'll be time for you to go back to work and the whole cycle will start again.

doggonecarl

By not turning them into excuses to drink.

Derringer

It pretty much boils down to finding new ways to self soothe without resorting to a drink.

HALT is a great start.

There are a ton of places to find out other ways.

Books, YouTube, apps, blogs, websites etc.

Consistency is key.

Develop a routine until it becomes 1st nature and relegates booze to 2nd.

Then after a while jam more stuff between you and booze .... put distance between yourself and alcohol.

Simple but not always easy.

But then ... what else are you going to do ?

Make positive changes that take some work, but keep you sober or keep taking the easy way out ?

Which only seems like the easy way out anyway .... We all know it's actually the hard way 😳

ciowa

Good afternoon. I have to travel for work and the days can be long and grueling. If I know thats the case then I try to prepare myself each day for what is to come. For me that means grounding myself in the morning, before bed and anytime in between. I also break the time down to one day at a time as in I need to pace myself today and let everything go at the end of the day The next day I start over
If Im especially tired during work, I break the day down down into sections, like getting through the afternoon or hanging in there until its time to quit. Then doing my best after work to get something to eat and rest asap. Drinking is a bad option because that means you won't recover from the work during your days off and will go back into work more tired than when you left.

anxiousrock

Focus on the positive? You get Thursday and Friday off? Awesome! Enjoy some time with your family.

MaximusD

Have you read up on AVRT? I am early in my quit but I think that this is going to be the ticket for me to keep this one stuck.

Coz

57 days is fantastic! Nearly two months. It would be such a shame to have to repeat those first days and weeks again for the sake of a few drinks because you are exhausted and not eating well.
Maybe get some easy frozen dinners for your work days and take a few healthy snacks to nibble on while at work. I know that I get extra tired if I haven't eaten well.
I get that you are cramming 5 days work into three, but that also means that you have 4 days of not working which is pretty nice. Look after yourself and take the easy way out on your working days - easy meals, few dishes, early nights (hot chocolate with marshmallows is a great lead up to crawling into bed - for me anyway!).

Congrats on 57 days! More than double of what I have so far. Don't let me overtake!!!

AwkwardKitty

Thank you for your advice everyone!

I am still on this train, day 58!
I dreamt that I drank and when I woke up felt hangover. The relief when I realised it wasnt real

I am positive, I've got 4 days off now, my little boy and I are playing lego and when I can be bothered to get dressed, we're going out for hot chocolate.

Tomorrow is payday and since I am saving a ton of cash nowadays, I'm going to treat myself to some art materials and do some illustrations over the weekend as well!

I'm trying to keep planning, keep eating and focus on the good stuff!

BlueWellies

anxiousrock

So happy you were able to overcome this! Enjoy your days off.

Steely

It made me so happy to I read your post AwkwardKitty. I was going to suggest something like a bubble bath, etc, but you seem to have it covered even better.

Enjoy those days off with your boys. Yay!

HeadEast

I like this because it talks about developing routines, and I think that is important to helping with recovery.

DriGuy

Just recognizing them is half the battle. Once you do that you make a decision not to drink, because they are only triggers. Your AV is talking to you, coaxing you, telling you that it's deserved. I've been there, but in recovery I chose not to drink, and it worked out well.

You are doing well, Kitty. The reward at the end of the day was one of my bigger triggers. Just like the earlier cravings, you ignore it, and eventually that feeling of, "But I deserve this," goes away, because it's just a fantasy, a remnant of the life back when you were sick.

24 years after my last drink, I still have that particular trigger after I work hard and feel achy and tired. I just shrug it off with a chuckle.

AwkwardKitty

I also like this because its proactive. I think things are better if you have actions to take as opposed things to avoid.
For example, Be sober is much more positive than Don't drink. Or Eat nourishing food rather than Dont eat junk. They are essentially the same thing but the first ones give you something to AIM for, something to DO whereas the second ones focus on not doing something. I've noticed a psychological shift when I approach things proactively and positively.

AwkwardKitty

Hey guys,
Just an update to say I am on DAY 60
Those cravings passed. Last night my husband had a friend over and they drank wine. This has always been a trigger for me, partly because I always want to join in and partly because of my social anxiety it "helped" me be more confident. So there were some triggers and cravings but I made nice food, had loads of pancakes, a bottle of fizzy water and played Lego with my son upstairs.
I'm awake at 8am on a Saturday, on day 60 and feeling immensely grateful and proud.
I like this new life much better.

Donnylutz

Those working hours would be a risk for anyone! Remember to take care of yourself. Your recovery is obviously of utmost importance, but so is your general health. Find time to relax, a way to blow off stress - those hours are rough. I'm working 55-60 a week, which is crazy, but not as rough as what you are doing.

"Stay strong" is a great mantra, but so is "I need help" - you are asking for it here, that's a good thing! You know why you are doing this, and you got this. When I get stressed I focus on now, just now.....not yesterday, not tomorrow, not an hour from now, just NOW. It helps me.

💘💘