Maximus's Journal
 

I have struggled with alcohol most of my life. My longest time sober was 7 years. I was a part of the WQD website from a few years back that I found really helped me. What I have been doing isn't working. I keep going back. Each time I feel sick, miss work, screw up my relationships. Slipped up again and admitted to my wife that I had been drinking and hiding it. Now she doesn't trust me. Either way one thing is for sure. I must make a quit stick! Looking forward to the support I can find here and also offering my support as well.

Max

Welcome to the family. :) I hope our support can help you get sober for good. :hug:

Welcome Max - it's wonderful to have you join us. This is a great place for understanding & encouragement. You're never alone.

I drank 30 yrs. It was part of everything I did. I couldn't imagine my life without it - so I kept trying to moderate. All those years of abusing it resulted in drinking 24/7 in the end - with a life in chaos. If we could control it, we would have long ago. That was the hardest thing for me to admit - that I was completely dependent - & it was going to kill me.

You can get free, Max. Be glad you've made this crucial decision & you're going to change your life. We know you can.

Welcome Max. This is a great place to be. 7 years is amazing, so you know the drill. This thing is tough to kick isn't it? I'm 3 months sober but have never been sober unless I was too sick to drink in the 30 years before that. I had drank myself quite a ways down the road towards death, so the daily rewards of sobriety are still very motivating for me. But having long-term sober folks on this forum really helps people like me. I never want to drink again but stories like yours - so many of them - tell me that the future isn't that simple. Anyway, thanks for joining SR and you will help people like me figure out how to stay sober forever.

My quit would have continued but divorce stopped me. Now I am happily married again but I am sure my wife can't say the same because of alcohol. Time to change that.

Welcome Max, I'm glad that you see that what you have been doing isn't working well. And, you're ready to get some good support here. :) Adding something to your recovery plan could be a big help.

welcome I think I this site will help you. I find lots of support here.

Do people have journals on here? Basically a thread that is a users Journal and others can go post there but it is a long running thread? For now I am going to use this thread to chronicle some sources I have found to refer back to. Do people use blogs for that?

I will never drink/drug again." "...and I will never change my mind."

"I" am in control of my muscles. Therefore, "I" call the shots.

"Will" is just my ability to make a decision, which requires no power.

"Never" means eternity, forever, to the last star in the universe.

"Drink/use" is what I will never do

"Again," which means that this decision is based on my past experience.

Your Beast has no power over you;

it is a quadriplegic which must appeal to you

You can certainly do that here Max - a lot of people do.
Welcome to SR :)

D

Just went for a walk to heed my own advice in another thread to get some exercise. Missed work today because of my weekend bender. Was sick all night long and just didn't feel better enough to go in this morning. Also, missed a soccer game. I have missed too much time from this addiction and spent too much money. I am going to use this thread as a journal for now. I want to remember the last day that I drank and what it felt like. I was very sad and depressed last night due to the after affects. Feeling a little better but I will feel even better when tonight rolls around and I can tell my wife that I am on here now and start to heal that relationship and start to play with my son more. I will feel better when I can get to work tomorrow and make sure no one is pissed at me. One day at a time. Going to really focus on this AVRT stuff as I think that will help.

Max - I wish I'd recorded my feelings after my last binge. I was so shaky & terrified of all the wreckage I'd caused. I still remember the mess I made, but I'm sure I've forgotten some of the details. I think it's good you're planning to journal.

Welcome Max!

Max, you can start a blog if you want, and others can respond to what you post, but blogs don't get as much traffic as, say, this thread. Continue to post here each day, as often as you like, to record your progress. :)

Welcome Maximus, this site helped me get and stay sober for the past four years.

Thanks everyone. Going to get my son now. That is one of the things I am dreading as they think I am working. Can't wait till all the lies are gone and this game ends.

Welcome Max! I am relatively new here as well and find amazing support. In fact, just today I looked into and joined Annie Grace's 30 Day Alcohol Experiment which someone on here mentioned. Anything to keep free of alcohol and the negatives that it brings. I began with a 13 day streak, fell temporarily thankfully, then right back up with 9 days so far. I know it's early days for me, so any suggestions I see that might be helpful and I'm on it. You can do the same. We have much to live for soberly. :dance1a:

Welcome max!

I will follow along with your progress. I love seeing others succeed

This resonates with me. I used to think alcohol had some mental ability to control me. I have to exaggerate to explain it. I was afraid of something like an alcohol demon, that would take control of my arms, and force a drink down me. Of course, I knew this was silly, but it's kind of what I felt like around alcohol in early recovery.

It was a strange step forward to accept that I had control of the muscles in my hands and arms, and all I had to do was choose not to drink. I've never mentioned this to anyone because it sounds so weird. I may be the only one (well, maybe now you) that ever experienced that, but I put that one in my tool box. I never really had to use it. But fully embracing it took away part of my struggle. And it pointed out that all I had to to was think, rather than react. And that was the path I followed from there on. Whatever works, I guess.

Welcome to the forum.

Driguy, I got it from the AVRT website that is mentioned in the forums. If you haven't seen it yet I will post a link (Once I get to 25 posts because it won't let me)

Good morning. Today is a damn good day to not drink. Feeling much better. Day 2 is here.