Notices

Maximus's Journal

Old 02-26-2020, 06:24 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,064
7 years is impressive - you can do it again!
AAPJ is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 07:02 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Welcome Max! If you have previously succeeded for 7 years (which is awesome), you can certainly replicate that. Joining SR and happening upon AVRT, was a turning point for me, I was able to reverse my previous struggles with the AV, into a victory over it.
Fusion is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 07:39 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
hail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 21
Welcome Maximus. Day 2 is awesome. Keep it going.
hail is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 02:26 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,048
You can PM (private message) links now Max.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 04:23 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Wastinglife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
You have my support my friend. Anything you need you can come here for help and support
Wastinglife is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 04:31 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by MaximusD View Post
Good morning. Today is a damn good day to not drink. Feeling much better. Day 2 is here.
Ah, quoting Sam!! Although he always spelled it “dam good day,” lol. And all the other WQD’ers too, would be fun to see them here.

Glad you’re feeling better and using your AVRT tools to stay strong.
Stayingsassy is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 04:48 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
DriGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,111
Originally Posted by MaximusD View Post
Driguy, I got it from the AVRT website that is mentioned in the forums. If you haven't seen it yet I will post a link (Once I get to 25 posts because it won't let me)
Thank you, but I've been to that site a couple of times. There's so much in it that I easily related to. If I recall this correctly, the muscle control issue and the power of my mind was one of those things that I had already experienced on my own. I had been sober for a long time before I heard of the program, so I didn't study it in detail or adopt it as my way forward, but there is a lot of useful things in it. And I think it's a good place to start.
DriGuy is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 05:15 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
MaximusD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Thanks everyone for stopping in today. Went to work after missing yesterday and all is well. Broke a door down because I got locked out and wasn't thinking clearly, plus I had a bottle sitting out so I couldn't leave that there. I need to fix that and my wife is being pretty short and nasty with me. I tried to tell her it is not helping my recovery but she said I've been treating her poorly for so long that basically whatever. It will get better with my sobriety and AVRT. Day 2 is almost over but really I don't have issues in the beginning of a quit, it is usually when I get complacent. Also, I don't get all the bad withdrawals because I still spend much of my time not drinking its just that I have a lot of relapses.
MaximusD is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 05:16 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
MaximusD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Stayingsassy. You are thinking of Rich and yes I am quoting him and yes he spelled it "dam"
MaximusD is offline  
Old 02-26-2020, 06:19 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by MaximusD View Post
Stayingsassy. You are thinking of Rich and yes I am quoting him and yes he spelled it "dam"
Oh no.

Major fail!! Sorry, just my alcoholic dementia acting up. (Jk. I think.)

He kept things nice and simple.
Stayingsassy is offline  
Old 02-27-2020, 06:42 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
MaximusD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Long workday today but it will be a nice sober day. Day 3.
MaximusD is offline  
Old 02-27-2020, 07:03 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Well done on Day 3, Max. I note that Dee74 changed the title in your thread in 'Alcoholism' into your Journal, but maybe you'd prefer this thread to become your Journal?
Fusion is offline  
Old 02-27-2020, 03:06 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
 
fishkiller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,121
WTG on Day 3 max!
fishkiller is offline  
Old 02-27-2020, 06:31 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
3 days! You're doing it, Max. So proud of you.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 02-27-2020, 10:09 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
MaximusD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Thanks everyone for the continued support. All is better mentally and physically. I just need to remember how I feel after I slip up. I drink for days straight typically and this last one I slept a lot when I wasn't drinking. Don't remember much. Actually had some before work on Monday morning which got me through the day so my hangover didn't start until after work and the sickness came around about sundown then I missed Tuesday. That Monday when I sobered up I had horribly strong depression which I don't have unless I just drank. I have to remember what happens when I choose to drink. Days of lost work around the house, once I sober up severe depression which turns to sickness. Waves of unending naseau and throwing up. When I stay home my kid and wife are gone and it is quiet and lonely but I can't do anything because I feel crappy still. I get better after about 24hours then 48 hours physical symptoms are better but the relationship problems and unraveling or trying NOT to unravel lies lingers. Who knows if I have hidden bottles I forgot about eek! Drinking sucks! It is poison!
MaximusD is offline  
Old 02-28-2020, 05:13 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
Member
 
fishkiller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,121
Yep, I remember those sick days. The loneliness and guilt.
Ugh
fishkiller is offline  
Old 02-28-2020, 06:36 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Hey Maximus, weren’t you quite young when you quit? 20’s?

I can imagine if I quit young I’d wonder if I was a “real alcoholic.”

Of course, I drank like a crazy woman in my 20’s also and the things I did then after the binges were in lots of ways scarier than they were in my 40’s, married with kids. So it would still be the same old denial either way. But I guess I can regrettably see why people go back out to “test it.”

Either way: you made it out of your test, reminder intact.

Congrats on trucking through your first week!
Stayingsassy is offline  
Old 02-29-2020, 11:01 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
MaximusD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Day 5 here. Things are getting better. Relationship with wife is improving. Last two weekends I have been drinking and not doing anything so this weekend lots has gotten done which makes her happy. It would seem that I am out of the woods as far as work/relationships etc are concerned. I have been incredibly lucky over my years of drinking to not have lost more, gotten a DUI etc. On to day 6!
MaximusD is offline  
Old 02-29-2020, 11:05 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,048
Way to go on day 5 Maximus

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 03-01-2020, 10:06 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
MaximusD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Moving on to day 6. Weekend is over and back to work. The last two weekends I was drinking and not doing anything and messing up my relationship with my wife and not spending time with my son while he saw me laying around. I was drinking without them knowing. This weekend I did most of what I had not done the last 2 weekends. Things are better with my wife as most of those were projects for her/our house. Door is fixed but cost quite a bit. I am lucky because with just a few days of sobriety I can pretty easily clean up the mess. At times in my past alcohol could have made things real bad. Used to drink at work, never caught. Two times I was passed out in the driver seat of my car and woken by cops, neither time was I arrested. One time I had alcohol in the car, the other time I was actually at work and just left and fell asleep in the car. NO IDEA HOW I GOT OUT OF THAT ONE. One time I crashed my car into a tree but managed to get my speed down enough that my air bag didn't deploy and despite bruised ribs I was okay. Nobody saw me crash so I left the crash scene and hid until I was sober then went back and dealt with it. Cops came but didn't suspect a thing. I HAVE BEEN LUCKY. Bottom line, if I continue to relapse I will not continue to be lucky. I will lose everything. I would say I spend 80 to 90% of the year not drinking because what happens is I relapse, drink for a few days hiding it, then quit for a week, few weeks, few months relapse again. Bottom line, I cannot relapse again and will not. This is all behind me now. I am kinda scared writing this and cant believe it as I put it into words but no need to be scared anymore as that part of my life is over. On to day 6.

Edited to add: Joining SR and keeping AVRT at the forefront is what I have decided will be the difference as I always ask myself "What is different this time?"
MaximusD is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:32 PM.