psilyguy

Went 7 months sober, going to the gym, eating great. We moved to a new home in the mountains and during the transition it was stressful and I thought I could handle a couple. Ive been drinking every day since (about 8 months now).
Last night I drank all my beer and today I'm making a pact that I'm not buying anymore. I feel like crap, my mind is blurred. Instead of having a drink right now to ease the pain, I can fully see how far down I've fallen.
Just finished cleaning up and amazed my entire recycle bin is full of beer cans while I still have a mountain of empty Blue Moon bottles. How did I get here again?
On a side note during my sober time I made a video to myself telling not to ever go back. Not sure why but that video disappeared from my phone so it was almost like OK lets have a go at it again.
Thanks for reading and wish me luck.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back psilyguy, glad you have decided to give sobriety another chance. We only get so many do-overs as the say, how can we help you make this be the time that it lasts permanently?

doggonecarl

"How did I get here again?" you ask?

Quitting means quitting. For good. Take drinking off the table completely. And accept that decision.

Surrendered19

Good for you Psilyguy. No time like the present. Yes, do not go buy anymore. We don't drink anymore and we can't have that in our homes. You did 7 months so you can do this. Do you need to change it up though? What will you do different this time? First thing I think is to make another video though. Tell your future self how wretched you feel right now. Welcome back Psilyguy.

psilyguy

I'm not sure how this will go down. My motivation the last round was going to the gym and using the steam room. The closest gym now is about 45 miles away.

Surrendered19

You live in the mountains. An enormous gym surrounds you. You live IN the gym now. You need steam, take a hot bath. Seriously, I am not belittling your feelings. Not having a few main tools that you used last time is tough. But there are so many tools at your disposal. Cut wood. Chop wood. Stack wood. Find a mountain stream nearby and trade the steam room for icy dips (very therapeutic). Climb and hike until you are cross-eyed. Get a bike and become a climbing specialist. Those physical pursuits that served you so well exist in other forms. Maybe work more on the spiritual and cognitive side of things too so that you have other tools to help you get and stay sober.

Dee74

you posted to someone a few days back after a long time away - did you feel this coming psilyguy ?

Gyms and such are great - but as the entirety of a recovery programme they're often found wanting.

what else can you do for your recovery? what can you add to your programme - besides posting here of course

D

PhoenixJ

PSI- that is the danger with booze. 'Cunning, baffling, powerful'. If I picked up booze- it would be like I had not stopped at all. I know there is no way I can safely booze. I hope you make a plan, get on the ground support/keep posting here. There are lots of threads in the SR Newcomer's forum. Do some SR surfing and perhaps join some.
Support to you.

Hevyn

Psily - I tried so hard to become a social drinker after a period of sobriety. I drank for 7 more years & totally ruined my life. I'm glad you're taking action now, before things completely unravel. You learned something, and now you're back to get free again - this time for good. We know you can do it.

awuh1

There is a lesson in every mistake.

August252015

Glad you made it back. Echo what other good folks have said about a recovery plan to underpin any and all other good habits such as eating well and exercise. We don't get unlimited chances - take this one!

psilyguy

Thanks guys. I'm hitting withdrawal stage right now drinking as much water as I can. I'll try to keep posting updates. Thankful my wife is on board with this...

Reid82

'Pain has no memory'....this statement really rings through. Welcome back.

Steely

Doing well psilyguy.

Thank goodness you are back.

psilyguy

Well the last 24 hours have been hell, as expected. This one was worse than the last... I can hardly walk a straight line and zero sleep.

Surrendered19

Yeah, don't worry about the sleep thing. It is nearly universal. Tired but clear-headed is so preferable to death warmed-over hangover land. You'll sleep when your body needs to sleep. Right now it is frying other fish. Hang in there psilyguy and I'm glad you posted this morning.

August252015

Psi, so glad you stopped and more glad you are sharing - this part sucks. now you can decide not to ever do it again. The first time someone told me, "You know you never have to have a drink again, right?" I was gobsmacked. It's a wild thought at first. But it's true.

Keep going.

Wastinglife

Withdrawal is so hard. The psychological aspect is worse than the physical symptoms. For me it's 3-4 days of psychological torture that can be so overwhelming. The lack of sleep is the thing that is the hardest. It's hard to explain to non-alcoholics.