ThatWasTheOldMe

The bad part about alcohol is it only helps at the very start of the binge. And it's not really helping - it's just masking the negative feelings you don't want to feel.

And on top of that the physical and mental side effects and it's a cocktail for disaster.

Your pain and suffering is real - but alcohol will never do anything but continue to bring you more pain and suffering under the guise of a temporary fix.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Withdrawal is absolute hell and you'll immediately be able to tell it apart from a hangover.

This here is life saving advice.

mikoss

Hopefully I can quit but just trying to take it easy.

It is this wine box stuff called Franzia. It says it is 9.0% alcohol and figured it is less than the 40% to 50% alcohol spirits I was drinking and would be okay but this stuff is making me feel pretty drunk. I just wanted some inexpensive wine.

I just need to quit drinking but it is so hard. I need a new plan or just separate from any contact with family for a bit and avoid stress. I just don't know anymore. I just feel hopeless.

ScottFromWI

Alcohol is alcohol no matter what form you consume it in. I managed to destroy my life pretty handily drinking nothing but beer - and mostly cheap 4 percent alcohol light beer at that. Never touched a drop of booze or wine.

And yes, quitting is hard. But nothing will change until you do. Makijng a plan and changing things with your family are important, but irrelevant until you can quit drinking. Dump out what you have, drink some water and get some rest.

Stable

Hawkeye13

Comes a time when you run out of relapses. Sad but true.

Stable is spot on about where this could be heading.

Steely

Sorry you are feeling this way.

How about selling all the fancy booze and paraphernalia on e-bay? Find some other collectible to satisfy your OCD. Van Gough's paint brushes? Easel? Mixing pots? A collection worth your while.

Never in a million years is alcohol going to satisfy your need to be free, it'll keep you trapped longer than cavewoman painted first rock art.

Ochre's pretty cheap. More colours than you can imagine, direct from the earth. Alcohol's pretty black and white, if you ask me.

I do wish you well.

Lines

I looked at this site obviously within 10 days when you were talking about coke. No longer can I relate.

Box wine
A bar there for looks.
Sophisticates savor it and don't drink to get drunk or to escape.
Think about why you have it.

Trying to figure out why I care you relapsed and are blaming your family
Maybe just maybe they see the truth in some things?

Ever tried to figure out why you can't cope with life's stuff?

I'm in withdrawal today from coke. Telling myself I can't do this and work. I can't go home and lie to my wife about why I feel like ****
Maybe I will just stop quitting for today too

Dee74

Hi Mikoss - sorry you're drinking. I must have drunk an oceans worth of booze trying to deal with the stress in my life, my family and my job. I was never able to drink enough to solve any of those problems but I created a whole lot more.

Whatever the solution is to your problems, you won't find them in a bottle or a wine box Mikoss.

I hope you'll think about healthy ways to deal with whatever is upsetting you

It sounds like its time for change for you Mikoss.

I needed to make changes in my life. My drinking defined me. I had to find other ways to define myself as a sober person.

and OCD or not please dump the wine. Cheap wine is one of the worst things to drink because it gets you really drunk increases the danger of injuries and makes you really sick.

D

CRRHCC

Reasons for drinking (or any compulsive behavior) are driven by emotional factors, usually feelings of helplessness (about whatever in life makes a person feel overwhelmingly trapped, powerless and lacking control).

The antidote is to reverse engineer this concept and empower yourself with some other high value behavior that enables you to regain control of your feelings. Of course this is easier said than done but is doable.
Find something you value like exercise, music, painting, prayer, journaling, etc.
The bottom line is that life is never going to be fair, easy and painless and you are never always going to get what you want. Find new values and purpose in life and replace them with your drinking. This is exactly what non drinkers and non abusers due. It's not magic. Recognize the emotional situations that set you off, Reframe the pros and cons and Replace your old behavior with new high value behavior.

Don't kid yourself, the only way you will stop desiring heavy substances and change your behavior is by seeing more happiness in the change than in the using. You must reach that conclusion yourself because, as Aristotle said, “We desire in accordance with our deliberation.” Go for the BBO: the Bigger Better Offer, look at the Forest through the Trees!

sugarbear1

My alcoholism wants me dead. No matter what, that is what it wants from me. When I tried to quit in my past, it was very hard not to drink, eventually.

25 years of hard alcoholic drinking and I finally had had enough.

Don't wait that long. Get yourself help as soon as you can. Stop fighting alcohol, surrender to the fact that you can't drink safely. It helped me. Along with those 12 steps.

I wish you well!

HeadEast

Stress is one of those emotions that many of us have used to justify drinking (and coke in your case). Make a new plan and get this done. As said above, alcohol is alcohol. You really can't justify cheap wine over anything else.

Dee74

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...44-stress.html (Stress)

Delilah1

Hi Mikoss,

I’m sorry you’re drinking again, and doesn’t sound like you’ve got a plan to try to stop at this point.

I have learned that I can’t control things my family or friends say/do, I can only control my response. I have put distance between me and people who drain me emotionally. I wish them nothing but happiness, but I cannot be involved in the drama.

There will always be stress in life, and unfortunately when you drink to deal with it the stress is still there the next day.

I hope you decide you are worth getting sober for. I hope you can find someone to give your fancy alcohol too, and you can replace it with sparkling water and juice.

Hope you’ll check in tomorrow and be on day one of sobriety.

Steely

Thank you for the 'stress' link Dee. Needed it today.

Hope you're doing ok mikoss.

mikoss

Thank you so much everyone for all of the advice.

I will read over everything again and try to come up with a plan to stop this drinking. I ended up passing out I guess from too much wine plus I was already sick and just not well. Emotionally and physically. I just woke up.

I didn't do any cocaine. None whatsoever. I don't even want to go back to that or deal with the comedown.

A friend of mine did come over before I fell asleep and she gave me a bottle of this whiskey called Southern Comfort. I think I have had this before years ago. But I resisted drinking it. She said it would help me with the cold or flu like symptoms I have by warming it up with lemon and honey but I don't want to chance it and make my condition worse. Plus it is just more drinking. But I appreciated her bringing it over.

Now I am just here drinking more of this inexpensive wine in a box. As convenient as it is I think these are also designed to make people drink more. You just open the spigot and out comes more wine. A clever idea and convenient but it can make you drink more. So I put the boxes away on the bathroom counter to distance myself from them instead of having them out on the kitchen counter where I was drinking too much of it earlier.

I just need to stop somehow and try to get a hold of myself. I am not guzzling the wine or drinking like crazy just taking it slow until I can figure out how to stop drinking and try to sort things out.

Not to mention I woke up with extreme anxiety a while ago. It went away though. No bad dreams or nightmares.

But yes Steely I do like ochre colors a lot when painting. Mostly as background colors. I mix a lot of my paints from pigments. Stuff I collect from all over and buy from different sources or friends. And I like mixing my own mediums and experimenting.

Turpentine mixed with various linseed oils in different proportions depending on what I am using it for. And rabbit skin glue with lead based agents and certain mineral dusts and chemicals. It is all very fascinating trying to make different mediums and resins and paints and prepping agents for the canvas. I have a part of the house which is like my little laboratory where I can mix and experiment with mediums and pigments and so forth.

As far as brushes, yes I have experimented with making my own brushes from certain fibers. Mostly I just buy them but I make some of them too.

Right now I am working on a squirrel painting. A small painting I have worked on slowly in my spare time for fun. I love squirrels. I like studying them and I find them very relaxing to watch.

But right now I am just trying to get my wine drinking under control too. And figure out how to manage this and finally stop drinking. It is just so frustrating. If I don't drink then I feel bad and if I drink then I feel better and not as bad as before. Then I feel bad about the drinking and drink more and then quit to feel better only to feel bad from not drinking. It is just so hard and feel so confused and hopeless.

Dee74

The sooner you stop Mikoss the sooner you can get back to the great relief of being sober.

The longer you leave it,, and the more you drink, the harder it will get to come back.

D

Steely

I come from australia mikoss and we have the dubious honour of inventing that box wine with tap. The silver bladder can be used as a pillow if ever you find yourself homeless, and need to rest your head. It has the nickname here as a Goon, or Goonie.

The box and the wine it contains was specifically developed by the alcohol industry for a niche market.....poor people, who wanted bang for their buck. Often alcoholic. The industry made a killing in more ways than one. The wine itself is loaded with chemicals, and poison to the human body. Ugh!

Hope you decide to close the tap mikoss. Your emotional and physical self will thank you for it.

mikoss

Wow Steely, I never knew that about box wine being invented in Australia and the history of it. It is very interesting.

I never knew the bag inside was called a Goon or Goonie. I have had many friends that drink box wine and have always saved the bags. I would use them to put water in it for traveling or to make an ice pack, but never thought about using it as a pillow. I will have to try it one day.

I have a friend and she loves the box wine. She likes Bota Box. She is always with her Bota Box in her kitchen and even carrying it with her around the house sometimes. She calls it her other little pet.

I didn't know that they put certain chemicals in the box wine. I have to check out the label. It does say it contains sulfites.

I know they are popular here. Bota Box, Franzia, Black Box, House Wine, all of those brands. People really love it here as I am sure everywhere else because they are convenient and easy to carry and you get a lot of quantity.

The ones I got are 5 liters each. It says it is enough for 34 glasses of 5 oz. each or the equivalent of 6.7 bottles of 750 ml which is a little over a case of wine in each box. That is a lot of wine.

I need to quit drinking it though. It is very addicting in flavor so I can see how people can get addicted to this box wine stuff. This one is Franzia brand. But I suppose they are all bad for you. I just need to quit drinking it.

What makes it so addicting I think is the ease of the spigot and out comes more wine. And the ease at which you can carry it anywhere around the house. Either way I need to stop drinking it.

Dee74

Yeah you really do - drink that 10 litres and you'll be sick enough to consider getting some more because you feel so bad....and the cycle goes on.

Dump the rest of it now.

D