Kjma

The escape into art-- I love that feeling of losing all track of time while creating something I find beautiful. I also paint, refurbish furniture, repurpose things....I get that feeling when deeply involved in any artistic endeavor. A really great way to avoiding thoughts of drinking. Keep it up.

mikoss

That is awesome. Yes I love art too and find it helpful in recovery.

I am really into instruments. Like piano, violin, acoustic and electric guitar, bass, and even trumpet. But I find that with recovery I need more quiet time so I put the instruments down for the most part and play just a little when I feel like it and just piano for now if I do play.

So for now I am getting back into sketching and oil painting since I find that with painting I can sort of get lost in the art and not think about drinking so much and get into the painting I am doing. I like painting landscapes like rivers and mountains and waterfalls and also beaches and water scenes with fishermen and boats and lighthouses and jetties and things like that. And portraits too, I love doing portraits. I find oil painting very therapeutic for me especially right now trying to recover and get sober and hopefully no more alcohol or drug use.

mikoss

I also like nature art. I saw a program on TV about a lady that started a company that uses things found in nature to create surface mediums for anything from furniture to surfaces for private jets, hotels, and mega yachts. It is called Nature Squared. It had been around for 20 years or so and she is based out of London, England I believe.

They do things like a wall in a luxury hotel with the surface decorated with tobacco leaves or using bird feathers or sea shells or leaves or the shells of eggs we eat for breakfast to make luxurious one of a kind surface mediums that are quite fascinating. I wish I could do something like that just for fun to make something like a piece of furniture or conversation piece.

But as mentioned anything from going to a gym, exercising at home, yoga, meditation, healthy diet, partaking in a hobby, going for a walk, fishing, golf, tennis, flying a kite, throwing a frisbee, reading a book, looking at stars in the sky at night with a telescope, drawing, painting, playing an instrument, or whatever works for anybody is good therapy to try and stay sober and recover from alcohol use.

It is just finding something to decompress and relax and get the mind off of drinking alcohol when having downtime or alone time.

MJP73

Nice job mikoss! Day 2 here. Lets keep it going. I have been doing some research and drafting up my plan. Downtime has always been when I tend to want to drink so I need to start filling that time with other activities. We have a really nice metropark area about two miles from my house. I think I am going to go for a walk when I get up from my last night shift right away to do some deep thinking and may even break a sweat. It is starting to warm up here but last night was 9 degrees. Down right cold I tell ya.

mikoss

Thanks, MJP. It has been very tough and the hardest thing to do just making it to day 8 but one day at a time I guess. Plus I have been sick with a cold or flu-like symptoms so maybe I have been sick too from a cold as well and on top of that sick from the withdrawal symptoms from quitting alcohol and the craving to want to drink again and the withdrawal symptoms from cocaine. So it is like a triple whammy for me. Part of me wants to drink and part of me is too sick to drink and then I crave it and then I am feeling better and then feeling so sick. I guess it just takes time.

So I basically just walk around the house with an old blanket thing around with arm holes in it due to the frequent chills I get and plus it makes me feel comfortable and drinking green tea and oil panting and take a break and eat and more tea drinking and more oil painting to try and no think about drinking. I am like a recluse in my own house. Just eating, drinking tea, or coca cola or coffee which I know are all not healthy but better than alcohol, and oil painting or playing a little piano and on the forum here. There are a lot of really cool and nice and helpful people here on the forum to help get through these tough times of trying to get sober.

I agree with you on downtime or time alone. I felt the same way. I filled it with drinking and in my case cocaine use along with alcohol, sometimes separate or together. I did it just to feel good, escape into another world, escape depression and anxiety, feeling bored, for fun, or just because I could and I liked it. Many reasons I did those things. Very easy for me to fix a drink, do a line of coke, smoke some weed, take a pill, all of those things I was doing to balance me out but mostly heavy drinking from morning to night.

And right now it is just coming up with a plan and different routine to focus on doing other things like you said, going for a walk in the park for example, and just trying to do some thinking and self evaluation.

I think sobriety like many state here is not just giving up the alcohol or substances or whatever the case may be, but a different mentality and a different way of thinking or mindset or way of looking at life or however one wants to call it. And then take the alcohol out of the picture and things seem to get a little clearer.

For example when Eric Clapton, the guitar player, got out of rehab for alcohol and drug abuse, he said that despite of what they told him to stay out of the public for a while and just relax and take it easy after getting out of rehab and recovering he went on a major tour shortly after. And he said hated the way everything sounded through the monitors, hated his playing, a lot of things that he said he just was not happy with and was miserable. And he said something to the effect of, "Man I didn't think I sounded this bad." Of course he was not playing bad or sounded bad but it was because all of a sudden he said the fog of drugs and alcohol was gone and he could see things a lot clearer like his sound and playing.

And the same thing applies to life. Take alcohol out of the picture and life is just better and you can enjoy life better without the fog of being under the influence of alcohol. Things just get clearer and you can see things clearer than when being under the influence of alcohol.

Eric Clapton would drink so much that he said that he would get double vision. He even said it was the way he knew he was drunk and got to the point where he liked double vision and enjoyed it because it felt good and that is how the knew he reached the drunk point like an indicator of reaching his preferred level of intoxication.

I personally only got double vision a few times with drinking but everybody is different. Some people say they like the buzz from drinking or the numbness or the feeling of disorientation and for him it was the double vision he liked.

But yes, as you mentioned, I to thought about going for walks too but it is too cold for me. Anything below 50 degrees Fahrenheit is too cold for me. I wish that I still had my indoor exercise equipment like a treadmill and so forth but I gave it away to a friend. She probably needed it more than I do anyways. Not that she was overweight or unhealthy or in bad shape or anything, but living in an area where there are not many places to run or walk or jog makes it easier for her to get her exercise without the fear of getting hit by a car.

But I would say just stick to it and take it one day at a time.

Tetrax

Unless you go full-time recovery it sounds like you're always gonna give in when a seemingly suitable time comes around. I know I did, and for a while work got the best of me whilst my free time was just wreckage. That was until work became wreckage too.

But yeah it's good you sound positive about it and I wish you well.

MJP73

Thanks Tetrax. I can see and feel what it is doing to my body. I am meeting up with a friend who has been sober for about seven years in a week or so to discuss what he did and help me develop a solid plan. he said to call him any time when the urge strikes to drink. I really think this will be a good avenue for me. Someone who understands and knows what it takes to succeed. In the mean time I am going to take it one day at a time and concentrate on what triggers me and stop and think before doing anything stupid. Day 3

Tetrax

Yeah that's massive, and reciprocal: you'll be helping him as he helps you. Nice one, well done on Day 3

MJP73

Day 4.

DriGuy

Before I quit, I set myself up for failure too, and like me, I doubt that this is intentional for you. No one sets themselves up for failure intentionally. For me it was more like I committed to the wrong thing. I was bound and determined to drink normally on occasion like a normal person. I didn't write this down or think about it. It was just this normal desire not to let myself out of control. It was more like a desire than a commitment I guess, although it was sincere.

It wasn't a lot different to commit to abstinence when the time came. It fact, I didn't really commit to that either. But I did commit myself to trying abstinence. I accepted that abstinence meant forever, but I wasn't necessarily committed to forever, just abstinence, as silly as that sounds, because it was abstinence for an undecided time, which didn't fit my idea of abstinence. In retrospect that was kind of dumb, but it worked out OK, because once I got through the horrid cravings, abstinence felt awfully good, and the light came on. This was really what I was looking for.

The light that came on was, "OK, I get it; If you want to quit, you really have to quit! Eureka, I have found the often fabled easier softer way." Except that it wasn't a myth. It was true.

So commit yourself, but commit to the right thing, and do it seriously. Committing to a desire to drink on occasion like a sophisticated gentleman, just doesn't seem to work for any of us. And I don't think there is any way around the total abstinence requirement.