Hello from new member
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 12
Hello from new member
I'm new today, so hello everyone! There's such a lot to read here - what a very active forum. I read some posts this morning before I dashed off to work. Actually I couldn't stop reading and was a bit late.
I'm 34 days sober today. I've had nothing to drink since last year ... I really want to be able to keep saying that! The time has really gone quickly and I have to look back on my "days" counter and wonder if it's real. (the app is Dry Days by AlcoChange). 34 days, saved £267 and not drunk 306 units - or thereabouts. I've probably saved more money than that because I can't go to the supermarket and not fill up the basket with lots of food I don't need or want (nibbles to have with it mostly).
My longest sober streak is 30 days. A typical run was about 2-3 days before I crumbled. I could still crumble. If I had wine in the house right now I would drink it. No question.
If I had a bottle of wine in my fridge I would drink it all - if there was any left (rare) in the morning, then I would drink it in the morning. In the past I have drunk a bottle of wine before work. I've phoned in to say I'm ill (in emotional tears) because I've had too much wine for breakfast. Then sleep until early afternoon whilst the household tiptoes around me. That didn't happen often but once is enough right?
I was drinking wine every day (a bottle) and most days I bought 2 or 3 mini bottles so that I wouldn't run out. So even if I was tired at 9pm I'd be sat up until gone midnight so that I could finish it.
Actually, I never have alcohol in the house in the way people have a drinks cabinet or a wine rack. It's was either being consumed or ready to be consumed. This meant shopping every day for it. Lunchtime during work. Bottle for later and 2-3 minis for right now. I would have downed a mini before I got back to work for the afternoon and would drink the other 2 during the afternoon (probably all finished by 3.30pm). If I had more mini bottles then they would be drunk too.
I'm aware or vaguely aware of calling out some colleagues for their misdemeanours (real or imaginged) during these afternoons. There is one occasion (ugh) when I "think" I told the MD some of the errors of his ways. Another in floods of tears over something trivial. Did they know? Maybe. Scary VIPs visiting - well a half bottle of gin will just about manage that.
During the last half of 2019 I tried several times to stop but in October I had a holiday (where meeting and socialising with a ton of people was on the cards) so I had to drink through that. Well I didn't have to but I did.
I felt sick and tired (I do have a chronic health condition - which I believe is caused by alcohol abuse - so I'm not even meant to drink anyway). I slowly began to feel that, ok so the alcohol is a problem, but I felt desperate to not have the actual problem of alcohol. The alcohol is/was a burden but the issue of having an issue became more than I could bear. I've not quite worked this out in my head yet so apologies if that doesn't make any sense. I have to deal with a big problem in my life and I didn't want to have to deal with this big problem... I didn't have the strength to wrestle with it.
So I have the big problem in my life still, but it's not having alcohol but about not having it. The not having is a whole lot easier than having it. I think.
I've had many flash points. I've driven to the supermarket and my subconsious has decided we're having some... then I just didn't get any - a ton of chocolate though (which I'll let myself do at the moment). I went on an errand at lunchtime today and paused at a fork in the road - back to work or supermarket. I went back to work. If I ignore those signals that me is giving to me, then they go back to where they came from. It's tough though.
That lovely warm glow isn't worth it, never has been. It didn't always show up anyway and if it did it lasted... well... probably not more than 10 minutes and you can't ever get it back.
I've waffled on for long enough, so I'll leave it there and do some more reading on the forum.
Thanks for reading and thanks to the admins for what looks like an excellent place for me to be right now!
Silver x
I'm 34 days sober today. I've had nothing to drink since last year ... I really want to be able to keep saying that! The time has really gone quickly and I have to look back on my "days" counter and wonder if it's real. (the app is Dry Days by AlcoChange). 34 days, saved £267 and not drunk 306 units - or thereabouts. I've probably saved more money than that because I can't go to the supermarket and not fill up the basket with lots of food I don't need or want (nibbles to have with it mostly).
My longest sober streak is 30 days. A typical run was about 2-3 days before I crumbled. I could still crumble. If I had wine in the house right now I would drink it. No question.
If I had a bottle of wine in my fridge I would drink it all - if there was any left (rare) in the morning, then I would drink it in the morning. In the past I have drunk a bottle of wine before work. I've phoned in to say I'm ill (in emotional tears) because I've had too much wine for breakfast. Then sleep until early afternoon whilst the household tiptoes around me. That didn't happen often but once is enough right?
I was drinking wine every day (a bottle) and most days I bought 2 or 3 mini bottles so that I wouldn't run out. So even if I was tired at 9pm I'd be sat up until gone midnight so that I could finish it.
Actually, I never have alcohol in the house in the way people have a drinks cabinet or a wine rack. It's was either being consumed or ready to be consumed. This meant shopping every day for it. Lunchtime during work. Bottle for later and 2-3 minis for right now. I would have downed a mini before I got back to work for the afternoon and would drink the other 2 during the afternoon (probably all finished by 3.30pm). If I had more mini bottles then they would be drunk too.
I'm aware or vaguely aware of calling out some colleagues for their misdemeanours (real or imaginged) during these afternoons. There is one occasion (ugh) when I "think" I told the MD some of the errors of his ways. Another in floods of tears over something trivial. Did they know? Maybe. Scary VIPs visiting - well a half bottle of gin will just about manage that.
During the last half of 2019 I tried several times to stop but in October I had a holiday (where meeting and socialising with a ton of people was on the cards) so I had to drink through that. Well I didn't have to but I did.
I felt sick and tired (I do have a chronic health condition - which I believe is caused by alcohol abuse - so I'm not even meant to drink anyway). I slowly began to feel that, ok so the alcohol is a problem, but I felt desperate to not have the actual problem of alcohol. The alcohol is/was a burden but the issue of having an issue became more than I could bear. I've not quite worked this out in my head yet so apologies if that doesn't make any sense. I have to deal with a big problem in my life and I didn't want to have to deal with this big problem... I didn't have the strength to wrestle with it.
So I have the big problem in my life still, but it's not having alcohol but about not having it. The not having is a whole lot easier than having it. I think.
I've had many flash points. I've driven to the supermarket and my subconsious has decided we're having some... then I just didn't get any - a ton of chocolate though (which I'll let myself do at the moment). I went on an errand at lunchtime today and paused at a fork in the road - back to work or supermarket. I went back to work. If I ignore those signals that me is giving to me, then they go back to where they came from. It's tough though.
That lovely warm glow isn't worth it, never has been. It didn't always show up anyway and if it did it lasted... well... probably not more than 10 minutes and you can't ever get it back.
I've waffled on for long enough, so I'll leave it there and do some more reading on the forum.
Thanks for reading and thanks to the admins for what looks like an excellent place for me to be right now!
Silver x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Welcome Silver. This forum is a great place and you'll find friends here who understand. Do you have any in-real-life support? 34 days sober is a FANTASTIC start!!! That is a great stretch of sobriety and there is no doubt much healing has happened already. I would keep reading and do what works for you to stay sober forever.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,502
Welcome to SR! This is a great website and there are very helpful posters here.
I tried to load the app on my smart device but after initially loading without any problem it closed down and now refuses to load at all. I'll try it again later.
I'd not heard of AlcoChange before but looking at their website it seems they are part of the Royal Free Hospital which is in Hamsptead in London. I used to live just around the corner from there for a while in 1985 / 1986. I think I'll need to contact them if I can't get the app to work.
I tried to load the app on my smart device but after initially loading without any problem it closed down and now refuses to load at all. I'll try it again later.
I'd not heard of AlcoChange before but looking at their website it seems they are part of the Royal Free Hospital which is in Hamsptead in London. I used to live just around the corner from there for a while in 1985 / 1986. I think I'll need to contact them if I can't get the app to work.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,519
Great to meet you, Silver. Well done on your 34 sober days. 
I came here after drinking 30 yrs. I never imagined my life without it. But as you so wisely said - that so-called 'glow' is never worth it. In the end, there wasn't even a glow - I was just drinking to stop the shaking. What a terrible way to live. It feels wonderful to be free. I hope you'll find being here will help with encouragement & motivation. You can do it.
I came here after drinking 30 yrs. I never imagined my life without it. But as you so wisely said - that so-called 'glow' is never worth it. In the end, there wasn't even a glow - I was just drinking to stop the shaking. What a terrible way to live. It feels wonderful to be free. I hope you'll find being here will help with encouragement & motivation. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,502
Originally Posted by Robbie64 
Welcome to SR! This is a great website and there are very helpful posters here.
I tried to load the app on my smart device but after initially loading without any problem it closed down and now refuses to load at all. I'll try it again later.
I'd not heard of AlcoChange before but looking at their website it seems they are part of the Royal Free Hospital which is in Hamsptead in London. I used to live just around the corner from there for a while in 1985 / 1986. I think I'll need to contact them if I can't get the app to work.
I tried to load the app on my smart device but after initially loading without any problem it closed down and now refuses to load at all. I'll try it again later.
I'd not heard of AlcoChange before but looking at their website it seems they are part of the Royal Free Hospital which is in Hamsptead in London. I used to live just around the corner from there for a while in 1985 / 1986. I think I'll need to contact them if I can't get the app to work.
Silver22: what smart device have you got? Did you download the app from iTunes or Google Play? I've only got an iPod Touch and not a smart phone but it's up to date with the latest iOS 13 operating system so I'm not sure why it isn't working. Did you encounter any problems getting the app to run?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Robbie64
And unfortunately I can't get the app to load at all.
Silver22: what smart device have you got? Did you download the app from iTunes or Google Play? I've only got an iPod Touch and not a smart phone but it's up to date with the latest iOS 13 operating system so I'm not sure why it isn't working. Did you encounter any problems getting the app to run?
Silver22: what smart device have you got? Did you download the app from iTunes or Google Play? I've only got an iPod Touch and not a smart phone but it's up to date with the latest iOS 13 operating system so I'm not sure why it isn't working. Did you encounter any problems getting the app to run?
The link to share from within the app is
I've sent the a message on the support button too.
On the About Us tab in the app is an email
In the app store it does say it's compatible with the ipod touch.
Hope that helps. It's really worth having. If you drink (hope not!) you can also put that in on any given day and say what you had (what type and how many units) and you can journal too - what was your thinking when you did drink . (and how do you feel now you're xxx days sober and so on).
Silver x
Ah, I can't post links or emails yet. Sorry
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Robbie64
And unfortunately I can't get the app to load at all.
Silver22: what smart device have you got? Did you download the app from iTunes or Google Play? I've only got an iPod Touch and not a smart phone but it's up to date with the latest iOS 13 operating system so I'm not sure why it isn't working. Did you encounter any problems getting the app to run?
Silver22: what smart device have you got? Did you download the app from iTunes or Google Play? I've only got an iPod Touch and not a smart phone but it's up to date with the latest iOS 13 operating system so I'm not sure why it isn't working. Did you encounter any problems getting the app to run?
Originally Posted by Robbie64
And unfortunately I can't get the app to load at all.
Silver22: what smart device have you got? Did you download the app from iTunes or Google Play? I've only got an iPod Touch and not a smart phone but it's up to date with the latest iOS 13 operating system so I'm not sure why it isn't working. Did you encounter any problems getting the app to run?
Silver22: what smart device have you got? Did you download the app from iTunes or Google Play? I've only got an iPod Touch and not a smart phone but it's up to date with the latest iOS 13 operating system so I'm not sure why it isn't working. Did you encounter any problems getting the app to run?
There is a sharing link on the app store and a support email within the app but I can't share that yet (I need 25 posts). Sorry.
I've sent the a message on the support section of the app asking for help.
In the app store it does say it's compatible with the ipod touch.
It's really worth having. If you drink (hope not!) you can also put that in on any given day and say what you had (what type and how many units) and you can journal too - what was your thinking when you did drink . (and how do you feel now you're xxx days sober and so on).
Silver x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 12
Thank you everyone for your wonderful welcome messages!
I truly feel I've found a safe place to help me heal and mend.
To make it possible to drink alcohol I isolated myself from people and life so I don't have anyone who "gets it". I have close family but they're not experiencing this directly. Family have even been part of me falling into the hole, "No you don't have a problem with alcohol, you just like it..." That kind of thing, which my alcohol brain will seize on and use.
I truly feel I've found a safe place to help me heal and mend.
To make it possible to drink alcohol I isolated myself from people and life so I don't have anyone who "gets it". I have close family but they're not experiencing this directly. Family have even been part of me falling into the hole, "No you don't have a problem with alcohol, you just like it..." That kind of thing, which my alcohol brain will seize on and use.
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