Silver11

Hello friends,
last year I started to really dig my heals in and try quitting again. Failed miserably a couple of times. I had 18 days in December but drank in New Year’s Eve. Woke ip feeling like utter crap. Started again and now it’s February 1st! This has not been easy. I almost blew it 2 times but stayed the course mostly out of the fear of another anxiety ridden hangover.

I think for me short targets are more helpful than telling myself I’ll never drink again (although I really don’t want to). For now my aim is 100 days.

I also thought everything would improve after quitting. My sleep did improve but I still occasionally have bouts of anxiety that are difficult. I have started going to the gym and progressive muscle relaxation. But I reached a point in late January where I asked myself; is this it? Because it can get boring, and problems certainly don’t go away. Problems are now brought to the forefront as I be been neglected ting them for a while. Big questions, big decisions about family that I’ve been avoiding.

it’s also very difficult dealing with emotional pain. My go to was to get a lot of beer. Now I can’t do that. An argument with my wife, my mother, long held resentments fill my mind these days and I have to really learn to just breathe through all this stuff. Easier said than done.

I should be feeling great and on top of the world right now. But I’m not. I don’t know why. All I see in front of me is an ocean of time that I don’t know how to fill, decisions I don’t know how to make, and pain I don’t know how to deal with. So that’s where I am right now. The good thing is I have no intention of drinking at all.

I hope in time things become clearer.
thanks

Surrendered19

Hi ClarkKent. One of the things that SR folks often talk about is boredom and time. I think newly sober folks might be unprepared for the quiet and the peace of a sober mind. It seems boring or like you are missing out, or the future looms large. But if you look at it as quiet and peace and calm, you can start to fill the time with what you want. It requires you maybe getting out of your comfort zone. But I think what you are struggling with is really an opportunity. An ocean of time. What a gift really, isn't it? Living here in Day 72 and still figuring this stuff out too.

Lucinda2

Congratulations ClarkeKent. I am the same time as you and glad to be rolled into the new month. I like Surrender's spin on quiet and peace and calm. I kind of just struggled my way through January with similar feelings to you and have decided to make myself a little action/activity/to-do list for Feb including trying at least one new thing (for me that will be Nordic walking). You are doing great as you have already got yourself going with the gym and relaxation. So I am sure this isn't 'it' - it is just the beginning.

STDragon

Yes, it's just the beginning, Give it time, you will build a new sober life. Try not to look to far into the future. That was one of my tools. I stopped a few months before Christmas and had to control the urge to obsess about the looming parties and family gatherings. I tried to only look a few days forward. But now I've got time under my belt, new interests, hobbies, social interactions and planning way down the road. One day at a time.

HeadEast

We hear so much about improvement and such after so many days, often less than 30 days. Blah Blah Blah. It actually pisses me off. For some of us, it takes longer. Really longer. Hang in there. Knowing how to fill time is hard for all of us. There are boats on that ocean, each one occupying a little more of your time.

saoutchik

Congratulations on going into your second month sober clarkkent! Thinking about the "forever" aspect when you first quit is daunting to the point of overwhelming. My advice is don't think about it. What you are doing, setting short targets, is what I did too and hopefully what happened to me will happen to you, namely:- after a couple of months the urge to drink subsided considerably, it was no longer a daily battle. Secondly, after a hundred days or so I stopped counting and became less conscious of not drinking, After a time N
not drinking becomes akin to cleaning our teeth in as much as we do that every day too but do not spend much time dwelling on it (I hope that made sense)

Good luck!

Dee74

Hi Clark

it took me about 3 months to start to feel consistently ok and to feel comfortable dealing with lifes up and downs without drinking.

I didn't expect it would take that long either but when you consider I drank for decades it was a petty good deal.

I hope you'll start to see the road getting easier soon. Support helps too so don't be a stranger here! post as often as you need to

D

Silver11

least

It took me several months before I felt 'normal' again, whatever that is... Give yourself more time. Another thing that might help is getting into a habit of practicing gratitude every day. There is nothing too small to be grateful for. It made a difference in my sobriety, and indeed, my whole life.