Real start today
 

Today is day 1 of being a non-drinker.
After a week of preparation, it is now time to never drink again.
I feel over loaded with trepidation about the withdrawal phase and also what my new life will have in store for me.
Here goes......

Congrats on Day1!

Stay close. We are here

Congrats. One day/min as needed.

Welcome

Good decision Coz.

This can be the start of a great new chapter Coz :)

D

That is awesome Coz! Here we go now. Clear, calm, quiet and liberated from alcohol. We don't drink any more.

Coz - we all care & want to help. Lean on us when you're feeling anxious. Things will get easier as you go along - you're going to be so happy to get free.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement!
Well over half way through day 1 - normally I would have had at least three drinks by now (even when I was at work).
I apologise that I am probably going to post quite regularly so that I can use it as sort of a journal to remind myself of the effort and pain that quitting brings.
I spent the last week (against the advice of many) gradually reducing my drinking with a promise to myself that I would quit by the end of the month. That last week was really tough and sure required all the strength I had to get there. Tremors, pins and needles, giddy, headache, really disturbed sleep, night sweats and silly emotional.
Today at the 1/2 day mark, I am feeling OK. Still shaky and my brain is one big fog. AV talking to me a lot - mostly about relieving the withdrawal symptoms. I know they will go away in a while, so time for me to learn patience and not go for the quick fix.
Struggling to get anything meaningful done today, so instead of feeling bad, I am giving myself three days off in being responsible. Home alone, so doesn't matter if it is a bit chaotic for a little while. I'll put in a big effort later and just potter when I can for now.
I'm thinking this evening is going to be more challenging, but currently feeling strong and determined.
:tyou

Post often! Reading and posting here daily helped me get sober.

You can do it, Coz. Stay strong.

you're not alone Coz :)

D

So it is now 18 hours since my last drink and getting to that time of the day when I normally would pick up the pace of drinking.
Temptation to make tomorrow 'day 1' is strong, but I also really want tomorrow to be day 2.
Hence posting as a distraction and to blurt out all the positives to achieve in 2020:
- no more bloodshot and puffy eyes
- skin that is not red and blotchy
- improved health and hoping that my liver can recover
- more energy to do things
- be able to socialise without making a fool of myself
- not feel the need to get home all the time so that I can drink
- to stop the lies and disguise about my drinking
- be a better person and not so selfish
- get fitter and get the body back into shape
- start my new job with a clear head and better attitude
Probably more things will spring to mind, but none of the above is possible if I keep drinking.
Again - a huge thank you to all the wonderful people posting on SR. I really think finding this site has been my only real chance of becoming a non-drinker.
Only six more hours and I'll be into day 2 (look forward to counting in days rather than hours!).
'til next post.....

Thanks for the list of reasons not to drink!
Most hit home with me also. Just part of being a slave to the drink.

Looking forward to following your progress

As my physical addiction went away, for me it was about a month, I went through a long detox.

I drank for decades so every cell in my body had altered. The deepest parts of my brain are likely still changing at this point.

I am heavily kindled. I still suffer from what I call my personal PAWS and PTSD. I seem overly sensitive to anything I eat. Lack of sleep seems to hit me hard.

I was ever decreasing agoraphobic for the last 4 years. When I first quit, I had spatial disorientation. It has all but went away.

I never shook or had thinking problems. I could still solve all of my little math calculations and analytical problems i do daily at work better than most folks.

I craved like hell for about the first 4 years clean. I really don't crave anymore. I used to say the crave will never go away, but it finally has.

When I see folks drinking, I neveer felt like I was missing out, I just remember the euphoria i used to initially get.

But i also remember all the horrible things. How the horrible things far and away add up and equal drinking is rediculous for me.

For so called normies, they can drink. Good for them. I am a proud non drinker. Yay!

I have worked hard to develop natural means of getting high, e.g. working out, doing projects, being nice.

Bottom line, I suffered like hell getting this clean, i would not make it out sane next time.

I cannot ever drink again. It would drive me bonkers and destroy me physically.

Don't need that.

Thanks.

You can do this Coz :)

D

20 hours and still counting.

Just got a call from hubby. He has been on the other side of the country to be with his dying mother. She just passed away at age 90 :(
Shedding lots of tears here. She was a lovely lady and I feel really sad for hubby who is doing it emotionally tough having sat with her for the last week watching her die and is now quite distraught.
I haven't said anything to hubby about my decision to stop drinking or the plan that I have been working to, or the medical issues I am dealing with. He has had enough emotional stuff to deal with without all my drama. And, I still live under the delusion that he isn't aware of how much I really drink and that I am completely alcohol dependent.

Note to me: having a drink is not going to change anything and probably will just make me even sadder. 20 hours and 21 hours fast approaching. Stick to the plan Coz

Sorry to hear about your husband's mother. Very sad, but drinking won't help. Congrats on day one!!! Keep posting. Any withdrawal symptoms?

Thanks Soupcon

Withdrawal symptoms - yes, but not too bad.
Trembles, tingling and headache as the physical symptoms.
Most frustrating is the brain fog and the inability to get myself busy doing something - procrastination and lack of focus are quite frustrating.

I am going to make day 1, so quite proud of myself. Next challenge is to get through day 2! Hope I can get some sleep tonight to help deal with tomorrow.

Thanks to you and everyone for the support. I wouldn't have got through today without it!