TacoDude

I'm somehow reluctant to respond to this thread, as there seem to be two opposing viewpoints as to the value of sharing how much one drank. Nonetheless...

For me, to be able to admit that I drank between 2.5-3 bottles of wine a night before I became sober is a potent reminder of how far alcoholism had consumed me and the depths that I had sunken to.

In retrospect, after 311 days of sobriety, knowing how much I drank and that I no longer drink is an empowering acknowledgement of how far I've come, as well as a painful reminder that that's exactly what I will be doing again if I pick up again.

When I'm having a crappy day and life just seems to suck all around, sometimes it's the latter that keeps me sober. On most days, it's the former.

BlakeV

Most were 750ml, but occasionnally 1L.

August252015

I get tired of drunkalogues and I don't usually take a chance on a speaker mtg. My husband loves them. So, who knows? I DO know that speaking from ESH - let's say a 25/25/50 ratio. That's useful in terms of hearing a story. What it was like (this can certainly prompt recognition that's necessary!), what happened (the next really important part, so a bit more time) and most importantly, what living in the solution means to them.

I probably say this based on how I was taught, and from how I speak as a guest on podcasts and interviews (written and audible).

Bonniefloyd

Well, I used to drink a couple of glasses of wine a night, which I knew was a little more than what was considered healthy for a woman, but I felt I “needed” it to relax. I should’ve stopped then.

Then I found myself having a wee bit more, just a little before bed. Once in a while I’d finish a whole bottle. I knew that wasn’t okay, but just a couple of glasses wasn’t doing it for me anymore. THAT would’ve been a good time to stop.

Then a bottle a night became the new normal. I did try a couple of times to stop back then, but I was still trying to wrangle with this whole “moderation” nonsense I keep hearing about.

Eventually I was polishing off two bottles a night with increasing frequency. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I’d stick to one bottle when I was being “moderate.” That one bottle always left me wanting more, but I would sometimes force myself to stop. But usually I’d keep going. Yeah, I knew I was screwed. If I had continued, two bottles a night would have been my new normal, and so on.

So maybe some people drink more, some people drink less. We’re all on the same dead end road though. Might as well take a detour, regardless of how far down that road we’ve gone, ya know?

August252015

Totally true!

One thing I didn't say specifically just occurred to me. I see the comparisons as a way our alcoholism is sneaky. Example....my husband is a few months behind me in sober date, so I will have 4 yr in Feb and he will in June. Probably a yr ago he made a comment (during a chat about a meeting or something recovery or whatever) that he didn't drink vodka, like I did.

I stopped him and said - did you just compare type of alcohol between us? He paused and said "Wow. I totally did and I know that it doesn't matter what or how much we drank."

So, some people call it the AV, some of us call it something else, but any type of comparison can take us towards thoughts that seem crazy but you actually hear:
"I'm sober for a year now! I only drink beer."
"I only have wine when cooking." (2 bottles a night)
"It's clear liquor."
so on....

But as always, whatever works at any given day or moment, to keep us tracking right, works in my book!

DriGuy

"You just need to drink less," or "You just need to control your drinking." As normie talk it makes perfect sense. It even makes logical sense. Oh, if it were only possible.

Bonniefloyd

Sunnyday13

At this point early in my recovery, about 4 weeks, I find it very therapeutic to share my story and the pain and fear I was feeling and the hell I was in. I do not share a lengthy story at meetings, but it helps to talk about what I was going through, and tell people who I know will understand...

silentrun

A pint of whiskey a night. I could have drunk way more but that was my way of trying to control my drinking. I would take a few sleeping pills with the alcohol so I could knock myself out and still make it to work every day.

The day I quit I realized that wasn't going to cut it anymore because I just wanted to drink and didn't care about much of anything else. If I hadn't tapped out when I did I'm sure I would have progressed into the end stages and just started buying handles and staying drunk. I wouldn't have survived like that for very long. I don't have what it takes to be an alcoholic in active addiction.

SIB

8-10 tallboys a day - on a light day. I'll tell you, its enough to make your brain mushy, motivation zero and anxiety high. (1 year sober)

Snowydelrico

It depended on which part of the alcoholic insanity cycle I was at.
It went no drinking
2-4 a day
6 a day
8 a day
10 a day
12-16 a day
Oblivion
Crash
Can’t do anything too Sick and ill maybe just 1 or 2 today maybe none for 4 days
Repeat for 15 more years