That didn't go as planned...
 

I posted on 1/15/20 as Day 1.. didn't happen, so disappointed once again. Ughhh…

Glad you came back! What is your plan now - is today a sober day?

So make today Day 1. Learn from what happened - did you have a plan? And if so what do you need to do differently this time?

Hey, no worries. Can this be Day 1? I hope so. Tell us how things are going.

Hi echodenali. :)

I don't use AA as my support in getting well, but I've heard it said, "that we can plan plans, but not results."

Back in the water again, and start swimming towards that goal. :abcj:

I hope you make today Day 1, and we're here for you.

Glad you're back! Get back on the saddle. :)

What about tomorrow echo? O the day after, it's never too late. Each day is a good day, make a new plan to stop, with a new stop date. You can!

Welcome back! I hope today is your day one.

Yes, this is day 1! And thanks for all the support. My plan is always I can do this myself as I hate asking for help. When you were raised like I was, that was seen as a weakness so it's hard to wrap my head around it, but I know I need to reach out and let people help me.

Will you at least give AA a chance? I was super skeptical at first but now feel it has been key in my recovery so far.

Congrats on Day1!
We are here!
I too am stubborn, set in my ways of figuring everything out on my own.
Like you, I have finally figured out this is one thing I CANNOT do on my own.
Actually now that I think about it, asking for help is about as big a show of strength as there is.

Keep them sober days coming and keep logging on here, especially when you need some support.

Try not to get wrapped up in the disappointment, the guilt, etc. etc.

Instead give yourself a pat on the back - you are here and you are taking steps in the right direction. Now, just quit. Sober. That's it. Today. Sober, not gonna drink today.

I'm a firm believer that when we're trapped in the cycle that setting ourselves up for failure is just an underhanded psychological game we play with ourselves. It goes like this: "If I drink then I'll just feel bad about it and the feeling bad about it - especially if I make myself and everyone believe it - means I'm ok." It's crazy I know but it turns out sometimes we'd rather just feel bad about things then actually deal with them...because feeling guilty about it may not take as much energy or effort as actually doing something different.

Problem is, alcohol doesn't give a poo about our feelings. It plays for keeps. So while we play those games with ourselves the booze just quietly continues to systematically destroy our lives.

Get off the merry-go round. It's really really good here on the sober side.

Ride it out. Be good to yourself, treat yourself and in the meantime for awhile just don't drink. Today.

-B

Welcome back echodenali :)

have you thought about posting in our January support thread?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-3-a-5.html

D

What about now? Isn't now a good time to start taking care of you?

My 3 years of stop attempts aren't journalled on here, I didn't find this place till I was 4 years sober.

It was a devastating blow to find out that getting sober wasn't easy and it sucked pretty bad to find out that it's not as easy as just stopping drinking either. Well it wasn't for me anyways.

The bitterest pill was knowing I had been able to do pretty much anything else I had ever set my mind to, but in the end, alcoholism whipped my butt in a fair fight. I had never tried so hard to fix something and not only did I not get any kind of positive results, it got substantially worse.

Keep trying, keep coming back here. Support is vital I reckon.

The old saying "It is darkest before the dawn" certainly applied in my case.

Day 1 it is. Report day 2. Join the January support thread. I just looked at a calendar and we seem to be running out of days in January, so join immediately.

echodenali,

Maybe you need more than a support group. Notice I said "MORE than a support group," not INSTEAD of." In my case I usually think of my support group as being the most important part of my recovery, but in thinking about your situation, I realized that there was much more to my recovery than that. Most of my recovery happened inside of me. That's where the battle takes place. The support group was only the first source outside of myself that seemed to help turn the tide. It's more than pats on the back and "attaboys." It's a resource of information, opinion, facts, and other offerings, some of which were things I never considered. And some of those things were essential.

Before I quit, I had an uncountable number of first days. I think I vowed to do something about my drinking every day upon awakening. Granted, quitting was not part of what little strategy I had. It was unspecific and not really committed. It was more like a desire to not feel like an out of control drunk. Just a desire, without a real strategy, and no where to go for help.

I made it three days a few times, when my body was so alcohol depleted and screaming to be fed, that I gave in. But recovery is more than desires, one days, or three days. I took some struggle, which got harder for about a week, and than very quickly became easier with a light at the end of the tunnel. With the cravings easing off, all I had to do was remember not to drink.

I don't want to make "remembering not to drink, sound like it's just that easy. Remembering not to drink is harder than it sounds. It's a mental exercise that requires a long period of vigilance focusing on not forgetting how important it is not to drink.

Welcome back! :)

My plan is always I can do this myself as I hate asking for help.

In my experience, this will not work. I tried this method for over 20 years.

What I finally realized is that I was getting guidance on how to get and stay sober, from a drunk.

That drunk was me.