Why I feel like drinking :(
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Why I feel like drinking :(
I’m having The worst time with anxiety. I haven’t drank in about a month but I feel like it now.
1) fiancé had a test done at the hospital last week and the doctor was very quick to get him in tomorrow to discuss the results tomorrow which makes me think it’s serious.
2) I have a bunch of work travel coming up and I absolutely hate flying and it’s soooo far that I’m already getting sick thinking about it.
3) it makes me feel like a poor depressing failure that I can’t just live a normal life and not worry about these things.
4) I hate myself for feeling this way.
1) fiancé had a test done at the hospital last week and the doctor was very quick to get him in tomorrow to discuss the results tomorrow which makes me think it’s serious.
2) I have a bunch of work travel coming up and I absolutely hate flying and it’s soooo far that I’m already getting sick thinking about it.
3) it makes me feel like a poor depressing failure that I can’t just live a normal life and not worry about these things.
4) I hate myself for feeling this way.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Drinking would make all those things 1000 times worse. And you can’t drink. In case something actually is wrong, you have to be there for your fiancé. You can’t use that as an excuse to drink. He might need you. Prove you’re the right person to marry.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
whats ifs and worry can lay heavy on us.
Drinking on anxiety tho is pretty futile - you'll feel even more stressed when you sober up, and probably that little more dependent on alcohol too - which will add to your anxiety when your body or brain decides it needs another drink.
We get used to worrying because the pay off for wolrry for many years was...drinking.
It doesn't make you a failure - not even a pathetic one to worry - it just makes you like everyone else
Just breathe through it - and focus on staying centered, sober and relaxed.
I hope for good news about your fiancé and that the plane trips go better than you think anxiuousrock.
D
Drinking on anxiety tho is pretty futile - you'll feel even more stressed when you sober up, and probably that little more dependent on alcohol too - which will add to your anxiety when your body or brain decides it needs another drink.
We get used to worrying because the pay off for wolrry for many years was...drinking.
It doesn't make you a failure - not even a pathetic one to worry - it just makes you like everyone else
Just breathe through it - and focus on staying centered, sober and relaxed.
I hope for good news about your fiancé and that the plane trips go better than you think anxiuousrock.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I'm sorry you are feeling that way AnxiousRock. It is what we struggle with. I hope you can stay present and be there for your fiance. Good, bad or otherwise, it will be so important for you to be there for him. Even if it isn't something fatal or awful, it still might be a battle that he will need you for. And you are going to marry him. You have a month sober. Stay that way and start your life with him sober. It will be amazing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 43
Hello Anxiousrock,
Congrats on almost a month sober. I had to reply to this because it reminds me a bit of how I can get regarding worrying about things out of my control. Also, the part about your fiance and the doctor reminds me of something my aunt is going through right now. She went to the doctor and found out she has to have a surgery soon. She will be fine but when she needed nurturing and support. Her husband who is a heavy drinker makes it about himself again (as drinkers do), and gets drunk, cries hysterically, and flips out. Which was the last thing she needed. She wasn't even freaked out about needing the surgery and his drunk emotional response just made her feel bad about her situation. Now regarding the flying.... I can totally relate, as in my 20's I was beyond afraid to fly and had anxiety every time I got on a plane. I was so scared I actually "wouldn't" drink..LOL! Because I wanted to have it together incase something happened...silly anxious thoughts. I would get so uptight before a trip, and even jeopardized two jobs back then because I would not get on the plane. The good Lord has healed me from it and now even though it's not my most favorite thing to do, I can fly and be just fine. I also have drank and stopped, then drank again thinking it would be easy to just start all over again towards sobriety. However, years later here I am again wanting to be free from the bondage of alcoholism. So please don't take being free almost a month so lightly. Sometimes the hold comes back even stronger the next time around. Years ago, I read a book called The Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson for the anxiety, and also a book called Flying Without Fear by Duane Brown. The Bondage Breaker is deep, but it really helped me when I had anxiety years ago which it sounds like your battling, causing more drinking. Hope this helps. God bless!
Congrats on almost a month sober. I had to reply to this because it reminds me a bit of how I can get regarding worrying about things out of my control. Also, the part about your fiance and the doctor reminds me of something my aunt is going through right now. She went to the doctor and found out she has to have a surgery soon. She will be fine but when she needed nurturing and support. Her husband who is a heavy drinker makes it about himself again (as drinkers do), and gets drunk, cries hysterically, and flips out. Which was the last thing she needed. She wasn't even freaked out about needing the surgery and his drunk emotional response just made her feel bad about her situation. Now regarding the flying.... I can totally relate, as in my 20's I was beyond afraid to fly and had anxiety every time I got on a plane. I was so scared I actually "wouldn't" drink..LOL! Because I wanted to have it together incase something happened...silly anxious thoughts. I would get so uptight before a trip, and even jeopardized two jobs back then because I would not get on the plane. The good Lord has healed me from it and now even though it's not my most favorite thing to do, I can fly and be just fine. I also have drank and stopped, then drank again thinking it would be easy to just start all over again towards sobriety. However, years later here I am again wanting to be free from the bondage of alcoholism. So please don't take being free almost a month so lightly. Sometimes the hold comes back even stronger the next time around. Years ago, I read a book called The Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson for the anxiety, and also a book called Flying Without Fear by Duane Brown. The Bondage Breaker is deep, but it really helped me when I had anxiety years ago which it sounds like your battling, causing more drinking. Hope this helps. God bless!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
'future tripping', for me, was a huge trigger/excuse.. after a couple months of working towards my recovery(AA, therapy,here) I stopped doing that stuff over anything that's completely out of my control. What I can control is now my normal. Looking back, 'dumbing down' with drinking/drugs never really got me anywhere/anything positive in my life.
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Hi everyone. Thanks for your replies.
I am absolutely freaking out over this because I’m absolutely thinking the worst and then for the flights I just can’t imagine being on a plane 15 hours. I’m going to lose it and it’s still 2 months away.
I am absolutely freaking out over this because I’m absolutely thinking the worst and then for the flights I just can’t imagine being on a plane 15 hours. I’m going to lose it and it’s still 2 months away.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
It doesn't make you a failure - not even a pathetic one to worry - it just makes you like everyone else
You're not a poor depressing failure. That you have a month sober is a huge success.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by anxiousrock 
I’m going to lose it and it’s still 2 months away.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,700
Drinking will make your anxiety worse in the long term and couple that with depression coming off the booze too.
I don't suffer with anxiety personally but I'm sure there are better ways to deal with it than alcohol!
I don't suffer with anxiety personally but I'm sure there are better ways to deal with it than alcohol!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,154
When we talk about the need to change your life around to stay sober (doing more than putting the plug in the jug), changing how you deal with anxiety is one of those things you will have to change. Anxiety may be a big one for you, and it may or may not be the reason you want to drink.
I think the biggest reason alcoholics drink is because they are addicted. Anxiety may just be a convenient trigger and a justification. That others find that drinking makes anxiety worse would support the argument that anxiety is a justification, rather than a remedy.
I think the biggest reason alcoholics drink is because they are addicted. Anxiety may just be a convenient trigger and a justification. That others find that drinking makes anxiety worse would support the argument that anxiety is a justification, rather than a remedy.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Anxiousrock, you will be much more able to deal with your fiance's health issue (if there is one) when you are sober and present. If this is a time when he needs you to be there, then be there for him.
Simple breathing techniques can help with your anxiety at all times, including when you are flying. Belly breathing really works: Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Simple breathing techniques can help with your anxiety at all times, including when you are flying. Belly breathing really works: Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
For some of us, "alcoholism" is a thing (call it an illness, disease, whatever.....doesn't matter to me) that effects us mostly when we're NOT drinking. The drinking is just a symptom - an outward manifestation of the illness. Kinda like a cough is a symptom of pneumonia. The cough is the symptom and the pneumonia is the underlying source.
Because I wasn't, once I crossed that invisible line into alcoholism, able to live happily and contently NOT drinking...... I'd be forced to drink. It was one of the few times I got any relief. I'd hear ppl who stopped drinking say they were happy now, felling better now, loving life now, etc. My experience seemed to be the opposite. The more time I'd manage to piece together, the more I'd wish I could drink, even though I knew pretty well that it wasn't in my best interest to do so. Pressure, anxiety, depression and a case of the "F-it's" would build and build. Sometimes that building was almost imperceptible and in lieu of nothing major happening. Other times something big would happen. Either way though, my dry-time felt more like a countdown to when I would drink again more than a celebration of how much better everything was.
The good and the bad news for me: 1. Good - I was right way-back-when I had the thoughts that "not drinking" wasn't going to solve anything. I guess it would solve getting more DUIs but it didn't solve the underlying problem - my alcoholism. 2. The bad news was that just not drinking was going to continue, in my case, to be an insufficient solution and I'd have to face and address what was really going on with me. 3. More good news - there's a solution (maybe several) for alcoholism, the thing that I suffer from and if that solution is engaged in my life, I can experience (and have for over a decade) that sense of ease and comfort on a daily basis now that I used to only experience once I started to put booze in me.
Because I wasn't, once I crossed that invisible line into alcoholism, able to live happily and contently NOT drinking...... I'd be forced to drink. It was one of the few times I got any relief. I'd hear ppl who stopped drinking say they were happy now, felling better now, loving life now, etc. My experience seemed to be the opposite. The more time I'd manage to piece together, the more I'd wish I could drink, even though I knew pretty well that it wasn't in my best interest to do so. Pressure, anxiety, depression and a case of the "F-it's" would build and build. Sometimes that building was almost imperceptible and in lieu of nothing major happening. Other times something big would happen. Either way though, my dry-time felt more like a countdown to when I would drink again more than a celebration of how much better everything was.
The good and the bad news for me: 1. Good - I was right way-back-when I had the thoughts that "not drinking" wasn't going to solve anything. I guess it would solve getting more DUIs but it didn't solve the underlying problem - my alcoholism. 2. The bad news was that just not drinking was going to continue, in my case, to be an insufficient solution and I'd have to face and address what was really going on with me. 3. More good news - there's a solution (maybe several) for alcoholism, the thing that I suffer from and if that solution is engaged in my life, I can experience (and have for over a decade) that sense of ease and comfort on a daily basis now that I used to only experience once I started to put booze in me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Originally Posted by anxiousrock
I’m having The worst time with anxiety. I haven’t drank in about a month but I feel like it now.
1) fiancé had a test done at the hospital last week and the doctor was very quick to get him in tomorrow to discuss the results tomorrow which makes me think it’s serious.
2) I have a bunch of work travel coming up and I absolutely hate flying and it’s soooo far that I’m already getting sick thinking about it.
3) it makes me feel like a poor depressing failure that I can’t just live a normal life and not worry about these things.
4) I hate myself for feeling this way.
1) fiancé had a test done at the hospital last week and the doctor was very quick to get him in tomorrow to discuss the results tomorrow which makes me think it’s serious.
2) I have a bunch of work travel coming up and I absolutely hate flying and it’s soooo far that I’m already getting sick thinking about it.
3) it makes me feel like a poor depressing failure that I can’t just live a normal life and not worry about these things.
4) I hate myself for feeling this way.
but every event we go through without booze will make us stronger I believe. If we stay sober the day will come when we’ll be looking back at all this with gratitude and a sigh of relief that we continued on.
It’s like a rebirth where we have to learn how to cope with life’s obstacles on life’s terms. There’s just no way getting around it.
we can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Originally Posted by DayTrader
For some of us, "alcoholism" is a thing (call it an illness, disease, whatever.....doesn't matter to me) that effects us mostly when we're NOT drinking. The drinking is just a symptom - an outward manifestation of the illness. Kinda like a cough is a symptom of pneumonia. The cough is the symptom and the pneumonia is the underlying source.
Because I wasn't, once I crossed that invisible line into alcoholism, able to live happily and contently NOT drinking...... I'd be forced to drink. It was one of the few times I got any relief. I'd hear ppl who stopped drinking say they were happy now, felling better now, loving life now, etc. My experience seemed to be the opposite. The more time I'd manage to piece together, the more I'd wish I could drink, even though I knew pretty well that it wasn't in my best interest to do so. Pressure, anxiety, depression and a case of the "F-it's" would build and build. Sometimes that building was almost imperceptible and in lieu of nothing major happening. Other times something big would happen. Either way though, my dry-time felt more like a countdown to when I would drink again more than a celebration of how much better everything was.
The good and the bad news for me: 1. Good - I was right way-back-when I had the thoughts that "not drinking" wasn't going to solve anything. I guess it would solve getting more DUIs but it didn't solve the underlying problem - my alcoholism. 2. The bad news was that just not drinking was going to continue, in my case, to be an insufficient solution and I'd have to face and address what was really going on with me. 3. More good news - there's a solution (maybe several) for alcoholism, the thing that I suffer from and if that solution is engaged in my life, I can experience (and have for over a decade) that sense of ease and comfort on a daily basis now that I used to only experience once I started to put booze in me.
Because I wasn't, once I crossed that invisible line into alcoholism, able to live happily and contently NOT drinking...... I'd be forced to drink. It was one of the few times I got any relief. I'd hear ppl who stopped drinking say they were happy now, felling better now, loving life now, etc. My experience seemed to be the opposite. The more time I'd manage to piece together, the more I'd wish I could drink, even though I knew pretty well that it wasn't in my best interest to do so. Pressure, anxiety, depression and a case of the "F-it's" would build and build. Sometimes that building was almost imperceptible and in lieu of nothing major happening. Other times something big would happen. Either way though, my dry-time felt more like a countdown to when I would drink again more than a celebration of how much better everything was.
The good and the bad news for me: 1. Good - I was right way-back-when I had the thoughts that "not drinking" wasn't going to solve anything. I guess it would solve getting more DUIs but it didn't solve the underlying problem - my alcoholism. 2. The bad news was that just not drinking was going to continue, in my case, to be an insufficient solution and I'd have to face and address what was really going on with me. 3. More good news - there's a solution (maybe several) for alcoholism, the thing that I suffer from and if that solution is engaged in my life, I can experience (and have for over a decade) that sense of ease and comfort on a daily basis now that I used to only experience once I started to put booze in me.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Nobody knows what is going on in my head, unless I tell them.
I feel anxious often and then it goes away. I was at the casino watching football last weekend and I felt extremely anxious. I think it was the chicken fingers.
I was frustrated thinking why do I have to deal with this. Why can't these feeling ever go away.
Then I thought these feeling are never going to go away, get used to this as your life. Except it. Embrace it.
I felt a little better after that.
Thanks.
I feel anxious often and then it goes away. I was at the casino watching football last weekend and I felt extremely anxious. I think it was the chicken fingers.
I was frustrated thinking why do I have to deal with this. Why can't these feeling ever go away.
Then I thought these feeling are never going to go away, get used to this as your life. Except it. Embrace it.
I felt a little better after that.
Thanks.
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