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Old 01-26-2020, 12:04 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Coz
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Lucinda - lovely words , and I am so pleased I found this forum. I think it is going to be my pillar of strength for the months and years ahead.
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Old 01-26-2020, 01:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Coz View Post
Lucinda - lovely words , and I am so pleased I found this forum. I think it is going to be my pillar of strength for the months and years ahead.
This place is great! Stick around
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Old 01-26-2020, 03:47 AM
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Welcome Coz, stick around, great support here!
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Old 01-26-2020, 04:29 AM
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Hello and welcome my friend. Gosh okay. Um congrats on your desision to quit the sauce. I too drank myself sick. I was a mess. But for me I surrendered my all and let my HP handle it. And for 267 days he has not proved me wrong. Cause let me tell it was not my will. My Will kept me drunk. I did go cold turkey . wasnt the smartest thing to do but I was desperate. I wanted out of having booze dictate my life. You too can do it too brother. First few days are gonna be a nightmare. But it Will pass. Trust me when I tell you this . you will want this. ✌
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Old 01-26-2020, 04:44 AM
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Welcome Coz!
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Old 01-26-2020, 01:36 PM
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Glad you have a plan in place Coz and you certainly sound committed to me.
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Old 01-26-2020, 02:50 PM
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Woke up this morning after a much lighter drinking day yesterday. Today is going to be even fewer - despite that voice in my head still telling me to have a kick-starter now. I am having a stand up argument with that voice. My line is 'you are going to die - not me'.
Shame that my mind and body are treating me so badly when I am trying to help them
This is a tough battle already and haven't even got to day 1. Strength comes from spending most of my day reading stories of those that have done it and reaped the benefits.
Thanks for all the support out there in SR land!
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Old 01-27-2020, 04:13 PM
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How are you doing today Coz? There is some great reading on here about that addictive voice.
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Old 01-27-2020, 04:24 PM
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Update Coz? You have a lot of people rooting for you here.
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Old 01-27-2020, 04:30 PM
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Hi Lucinda
Thanks for checking in with me - can't tell you how much it means at the moment.
I'm doing OK, particularly knowing that all the things I am feeling (physically and emotionally) are 'normal'. This site is great for gaining that understanding.
I am still weaning off the alcohol and a bit anxious about the 'never again' moment. Everyday during this cutting down process is like a day 1.
Off to the doctors today to get results of scans and latest blood tests, and to again talk through my 'quit' plan. Also anxious about results, as I know I have damaged my body pretty significantly over the past many years (I had my first drink when I was 4 years old and now am into my 50's).
Hope you are happy, healthy and smiling! Thanks for the support xx
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Old 01-27-2020, 05:09 PM
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All good here thanks Coz. Good to hear you are working with your doctor.

Perhaps you can spin the mental image of day 1 to 'how exciting that will be never to have to drink again'? I can do that some days but other days I still feel anxious about 'never again'. On those days I just use the old 'day at a time' thing which carries me through. I am still early days. I imagine that there will be a time in future when it doesnt require thinking about at all. It will just be how we live our lives.

Great to see you are still around, still cutting and soaking up the info on this forum. Looking forward to taking the journey with you.

Keep us updated about the results.

Warm wishes
Lucinda.
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Old 01-27-2020, 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Derringer View Post
Long story short, took the 12 steps of AA.

The more servere the problem, the more aggressive the treatment needed in my opinion.

You are probably in a bit deeper than you realize.

Plenty of articles out there on the 4 basic stages and you can have a look for your self and see if you can see yourself at the stage you're at.
I'm very much like Derringer both in the **** my body got to because of my drinking and what I did about it. Anyone who's heard me talk around here a minute has prob heard me say I was extremely ill when I quit. Real talk - I was death's door and you don't want to hear the specifics of what that meant. AND when I quit, it was not the first time I'd been at that point.

I've also got to throw this in - as seriously ill as I was, it wasn't just about getting literally sober or a couple days of withdrawals, even DTs and such. It was a process I viewed as the alcohol and its effects rolling out of my body from head to toe. That meant that getting stabilized, which is the beginning (v "well" which begins to come), was NOT a linear deal.

It won't get better if we postpone the inevitable pain of quitting. PLEASE be completely honest with your doctors and seriously consider this idea of weaning. Wanting you to be safely sober, in a literal sense, so that you can start living in recovery. Please keep up with us!
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Old 01-27-2020, 05:29 PM
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Coz unless you are tapering under the supervision of a doctor, which most docs would never do, tapering is very dangerous. My experience is that it is nearly impossible. Keep posting and tell us how things are going.
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Old 01-28-2020, 12:30 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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I do get the message from many, that my plan to taper is unlikely to succeed and that in the interim, I am continuing to damage myself. I respect this, but as many have also said, everyone is different and different tactics and plans are needed depending on the circumstances.
I am doing 'well' sticking to my plan, and I believe it to be the best for me. Today will be three drinks in total, a significant reduction from the 15 or more a day a few days ago.
I think my greatest risk of failure of my plan is giving up hope for a new life due to other medical conditions.
I have found out today that I have a very large cyst and have been referred to a surgeon to have it removed and tested, I have an issue with my bowel and being sent for a colonoscopy, and I have been recalled to the breast screening centre as there was an anomaly in my recent mammogram. It wasn't a 'great news' day for health not associated with my bad drinking behaviour.
There were other matters which were directly related to drinking. Really low on vitamins B1 and B12, so injections tomorrow, and liver scans show that it is fatty - so more detailed scans on the horizon, and my tumour markers are elevated. A bit of a wake-up call that it is time to quit.
I am unable to burden my husband with all my woes at the moment, as he has family issues that are more pressing - hence he is away from home for a while.
Thank you to all that are communicating with me - it means a lot to have people to talk to.
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Old 01-28-2020, 02:38 AM
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Why are you prolonging your quitting? You said you were going to discuss this with your doctor today and he has already prescribed benzos and naltrexone ? I understand the fear of dt's but you have the medication to avoid that. Does your doctor know how much you drink? Were you totally truthful?
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Old 01-28-2020, 02:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Coz View Post
I do get the message from many, that my plan to taper is unlikely to succeed and that in the interim, I am continuing to damage myself. I respect this, but as many have also said, everyone is different and different tactics and plans are needed depending on the circumstances.
I am doing 'well' sticking to my plan, and I believe it to be the best for me. Today will be three drinks in total, a significant reduction from the 15 or more a day a few days ago.
I think my greatest risk of failure of my plan is giving up hope for a new life due to other medical conditions.
I have found out today that I have a very large cyst and have been referred to a surgeon to have it removed and tested, I have an issue with my bowel and being sent for a colonoscopy, and I have been recalled to the breast screening centre as there was an anomaly in my recent mammogram. It wasn't a 'great news' day for health not associated with my bad drinking behaviour.
There were other matters which were directly related to drinking. Really low on vitamins B1 and B12, so injections tomorrow, and liver scans show that it is fatty - so more detailed scans on the horizon, and my tumour markers are elevated. A bit of a wake-up call that it is time to quit.
I am unable to burden my husband with all my woes at the moment, as he has family issues that are more pressing - hence he is away from home for a while.
Thank you to all that are communicating with me - it means a lot to have people to talk to.
I'm hoping it works out for you

As for the medical issues, I know it's easier said than done, try to look at the positives.
There have been no diagnosis yet and if there is we live in a time of amazing medical advances on many, many illnesses.
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Old 01-28-2020, 04:15 AM
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Hi soupcon - I am not prolonging my quitting, I am working to a plan that works for me.
My thinking in developing my plan was the many times I have decided to stop drinking, it didn't work. I lasted only a day, or mostly not even a day due to thinking it is too hard. This time, I WILL succeed. Even after the news from the doc today, I didn't have a drink when I got home, despite being overwhelmed, anxious and feeling very much 'why me?'.
I get that many are questioning why, but in my mind, it is being well prepared and reducing the alcohol in my system over a few days. All my other drinks during the day (aside from a morning coffee) have been water, so I am well hydrated.
Friday will be my day 1 of forever!
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Old 01-28-2020, 04:54 AM
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I hope things go well for you today Coz.
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Old 01-28-2020, 05:28 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Congrats on not drinking after your doctor's appointment! I sent you a pm earlier which I hope you read.
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Old 01-28-2020, 06:35 AM
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So yeah, I am very much not a fan of the kind of 'plan' you're doing.

That aside, one comment is that I absolutely had to get the alcohol out of my system to assess my physical stuff. Like you and many I was desperately out of whack (ha, understatement) and stuff like B12 injections wouldn't have been useful if I'd kept drinking.

One reason most of us pipe up about tapering or whatever we want to call NotQuittingNow is that our mind games can be endless. The finish line can be moved forever if we want, til we die.
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