Second session
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Hi Jeff
I'm glad you want to keep digging.
Like Scott says though, it's process - I kinda expected one day to be struck down by some great epiphany...epiphanies came but not suddenly and only after a lot of work.
about what someone else called the 'sexy stuff' ...you have a lot of emotional investment in that part of your past so it's right you should talk about it now.
In the long run, tho, I think you'll find it's incidental.
What you did then is not who you are now.
I'm way more interested in you today and if your pdoc is any good, it'll be the same for them too
D
I'm glad you want to keep digging.
Like Scott says though, it's process - I kinda expected one day to be struck down by some great epiphany...epiphanies came but not suddenly and only after a lot of work.
about what someone else called the 'sexy stuff' ...you have a lot of emotional investment in that part of your past so it's right you should talk about it now.
In the long run, tho, I think you'll find it's incidental.
What you did then is not who you are now.
I'm way more interested in you today and if your pdoc is any good, it'll be the same for them too
D
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
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Originally Posted by Wastinglife 
So where exactly is this house with 1.5 million in the wall located? Not that I am planning a trip or would be in the neighborhood at all haha.
Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by thomas11
ps. He did tell me he has never had a patient quite like me. For example, he's never had a patient tell him our plane got busted with 400 lbs of marijuana in it, or he's never had a patient tell him his friend got busted with $1.4 million in cash in his wall. Or a patient tell him that a hockey bag containing 800K in cash in on their living room floor from a brinks truck heist and they don't know what to do with it.
But you know what....everyone tells me to be totally honest with the guy, so I am.
But you know what....everyone tells me to be totally honest with the guy, so I am.
Jeff, i want to be very careful choosing my words because I don't want to come across as judgemental, negating your experience or your feelings about this. It is important what happened to you, it is important how you feel about it and it is seemingly important what you think other people think of what has happened to you/what you have done. That is ok and normal.
One thing to understand is that it is a therapist's job to build rapport with a client. If they sense a need for recognition or ego stroking they might do this in an appropriate way "wow, what a story!"
Just be careful not to confuse this with a friendly chat with the guys, there is work to be done and this is a professional environment. So DO talk about those things in your past as they are very important, but don't do it in a way to "impress" or just chat.
I made this mistake with a former psychologist and it ended very poorly.
Jeff, you have reported many times on your wealth, your life of high crime, violence and shady characters you have interacted with. It seems to be a part of your identity you feel important and and to a certain extent almost proud of. I get it. In a different way, but I get it. I too have present my "victim" status over and over- "oh this happened to me, and that happened to me and he did this to me and she did that to me" I've wanted to show everyone around me just how spectacularly difficult my life has been and how much I have had to go through. It really helped when people have pointed out this character trait to me. I am working hard to move past that and concentrate on what I can do to make a better future for myself. I've got a lot of work to do, I am absolutely not without fault or defect. But it all hinges on me staying sober. I think the same applies to you.
I do hope that you take this message in the spirit with which it was intended. Just holding up a mirror to help you better understand behaviour patterns, NOT to criticise.
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Originally Posted by Delilah1
Glad you feel comfortable with your therapist Jeff. When is your third appointment?
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Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Jeff, i want to be very careful choosing my words because I don't want to come across as judgemental, negating your experience or your feelings about this. It is important what happened to you, it is important how you feel about it and it is seemingly important what you think other people think of what has happened to you/what you have done. That is ok and normal.
One thing to understand is that it is a therapist's job to build rapport with a client. If they sense a need for recognition or ego stroking they might do this in an appropriate way "wow, what a story!"
Just be careful not to confuse this with a friendly chat with the guys, there is work to be done and this is a professional environment. So DO talk about those things in your past as they are very important, but don't do it in a way to "impress" or just chat.
I made this mistake with a former psychologist and it ended very poorly.
Jeff, you have reported many times on your wealth, your life of high crime, violence and shady characters you have interacted with. It seems to be a part of your identity you feel important and and to a certain extent almost proud of. I get it. In a different way, but I get it. I too have present my "victim" status over and over- "oh this happened to me, and that happened to me and he did this to me and she did that to me" I've wanted to show everyone around me just how spectacularly difficult my life has been and how much I have had to go through. It really helped when people have pointed out this character trait to me. I am working hard to move past that and concentrate on what I can do to make a better future for myself. I've got a lot of work to do, I am absolutely not without fault or defect. But it all hinges on me staying sober. I think the same applies to you.
I do hope that you take this message in the spirit with which it was intended. Just holding up a mirror to help you better understand behaviour patterns, NOT to criticise.
One thing to understand is that it is a therapist's job to build rapport with a client. If they sense a need for recognition or ego stroking they might do this in an appropriate way "wow, what a story!"
Just be careful not to confuse this with a friendly chat with the guys, there is work to be done and this is a professional environment. So DO talk about those things in your past as they are very important, but don't do it in a way to "impress" or just chat.
I made this mistake with a former psychologist and it ended very poorly.
Jeff, you have reported many times on your wealth, your life of high crime, violence and shady characters you have interacted with. It seems to be a part of your identity you feel important and and to a certain extent almost proud of. I get it. In a different way, but I get it. I too have present my "victim" status over and over- "oh this happened to me, and that happened to me and he did this to me and she did that to me" I've wanted to show everyone around me just how spectacularly difficult my life has been and how much I have had to go through. It really helped when people have pointed out this character trait to me. I am working hard to move past that and concentrate on what I can do to make a better future for myself. I've got a lot of work to do, I am absolutely not without fault or defect. But it all hinges on me staying sober. I think the same applies to you.
I do hope that you take this message in the spirit with which it was intended. Just holding up a mirror to help you better understand behaviour patterns, NOT to criticise.
But hey, I'm not special, we need to keep pushing forward in life.
Maybe this will help you understand my thought process.....for the bulk of my life I wanted to be recognized... and I was. My bodybuilding, my career on the dark side, my business (all my trucks matched so people knew who I was). Now, I sold my business and my house and moved to a different town. We now drive a Honda CRV and a Ford Explorer....two of the most popular cars on the road. I'm invisible and I love it.
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I will cut open a vein here, but the therapist told me that he thinks I am suffering from some depression. this hurt, and hurt bad. You get the cold for flu and you know you got the cold or flu. With depression its entirely different. I told him I feel the way I feel and so be it. He disagreed. I'm not going to fight it. I know I need help.
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There's no shame in being depressed Jeff.
It's like being lactose intolerant or having eczema - not everyone has those things but a heck of a lot of people do - and they manage the condition with help and lead happy fulfilling lives.
D
It's like being lactose intolerant or having eczema - not everyone has those things but a heck of a lot of people do - and they manage the condition with help and lead happy fulfilling lives.
D
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Originally Posted by Dee74
There's no shame in being depressed Jeff.
It's like being lactose intolerant or having eczema - not everyone has those things but a heck of a lot of people do - and they manage the condition with help and lead happy fulfilling lives.
D
It's like being lactose intolerant or having eczema - not everyone has those things but a heck of a lot of people do - and they manage the condition with help and lead happy fulfilling lives.
D
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Glad you are getting it all out there Jeff. Also remember that part of getting better is indeed doing just that - getting the issues out of your head and in the open. So in a sense you are already moving towards the solution
One of the misconceptions/mistakes that I had when I first sought counseling was that the therapist was going to give me a list of steps, or a technique, or a pill that would fix me - or "crack the nut" as you state. Turns out that the process is an ongoing one, and it's not like having surgery or curing an infection where there is a finite beginning and end. And most of the work is done by the patient, not the doctor, when it comes to mental health.
Sounds like you are comfortable enough to share all this with your counselor too - that is good to hear.
One of the misconceptions/mistakes that I had when I first sought counseling was that the therapist was going to give me a list of steps, or a technique, or a pill that would fix me - or "crack the nut" as you state. Turns out that the process is an ongoing one, and it's not like having surgery or curing an infection where there is a finite beginning and end. And most of the work is done by the patient, not the doctor, when it comes to mental health.
Sounds like you are comfortable enough to share all this with your counselor too - that is good to hear.
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Originally Posted by thomas11
Thanks dee, but I need time to digest his assessment.
A lot of people who are depressed tend towards considering that what we're feeling at the moment, the pain and fear with which we've been struggling, the sense of loss that sometimes feels suffocating, will be the way things are going to be forever. We lose perspective.
But it doesn't work that way, and nothing lasts forever. More frightening than comforting for some people. It's a cliché but it's also true that identifying the problem is a necessary part of healing, of growth. Starting at the beginning is sometimes the best place to start.
I believe that an attempt to figure out our lives is rarely a helpful goal in therapy. It often doesn't work well as a hobby either. Life isn't a problem to be solved; nor is it a disease to be cured. Sometimes it's just an adventure that we live.
Being in therapy provides an opportunity to take a look at unanalyzed (often for decades) beliefs, assumptions, and behaviors. Learning self-acceptance can go a long way in getting to a better place. All the hard work pays off but not always in the way we may have imagined.
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