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Tinkerbeau 01-24-2020 04:30 AM

Anyone gave up work
Hi I've quit my job to concentrate on my recovery from alcohol and bipolar. I was just wondering if anyone else did this and if they found it positive.

daisy1 01-24-2020 04:35 AM

Yes I did. I had a very good specialist nurse job that I had worked for 25 years to achieve, I fought so hard over the years to keep it. However, I really believe that finally giving in and leaving my job has allowed me to heal. I kept detoxing and going straight back into the same environment (stress, awful boss etc) and I kept relapsing. When I handed in my notice it was a game changer! I have no money but I don't care - it's been 18 months now and I do a little part time cooking job. I don't think I will return to nursing, I've done my time!

Tinkerbeau 01-24-2020 04:47 AM

Ohh thank you so much daisy, that gives me so much comfort. that has been me binging, missing work, promising myself i wont do it again, then going back getting stressed and worn out or hyped up and unable to settle?!!! I don't care about the money either just being happy and sober with my child

Surrendered19 01-24-2020 05:11 AM

I have been thinking about that so much Tink. I realistically cannot quit my job in the short term because it would cause too much disruption for my kids. But they are off into the world soon and I fully intend to change careers. My job as an attorney is extremely stressful and it is a toxic profession steeped in conflict and zealous advocacy. It is a daily battle and it takes so much of your spirit. I am coming to realize that not only is it super-triggering for me, I just simply don't like it. Early in life and here and there since, I have worked in culinary industry in some fashion, and I was so happy every minute I did that. I am going to sell what I have to sell, pitch everything I own, get a small flat, and do that the rest of my life. My goal is that 5 years from now, I will be the guy making the sandwiches behind the counter and cutting up the game in back. I loved that life and never should have left it. My poor daughters are getting sick of my constant harping about making sure to spend this life doing what moves you and blows your hair back, money be damned.

August252015 01-24-2020 05:27 AM

At the immediate start, about 6 wks, yes. Then I worked at a basic fast food job then back to serving and for a year worked FT and got back on my own financial feet. Once I got engaged and my now husband and I started making financial plans together, I've worked PT, FT and not in a paid capacity. Those have been practical as well as more importantly, need-based for my best self in recovery.

I'm currently focused on continued recovery from back surgery and continuing the past year's work on a 1099 basis doing social media work. Essentially, I make very little and spend most of my time in various recovery support and volunteer tasks.

It works for us, for now.

tomls 01-24-2020 05:34 AM

I think whatever it takes. If it helps you stay sober which the most important thing.

daisy1 01-24-2020 05:35 AM

I stayed in my job because I thought I had to for my children, but looking back I think they would have much preferred a happy, present and sober mum with no money, than someone who always worked full time and basically pretended to cope the whole time. To cope with work and making sure they were fed, clean, and clothed, making sure I was a perfect loving mum but able to have a career nearly killed me. The kudos of a dark blue uniform and more pay than a lot of doctors earn simply didn't matter when I was picked up by an ambulance crew (that knew me professionally btw!) lying in my own vomit. Now I have such peace - I am like an old lady pottering around walking my dog, watching my television. I love it!

Tinkerbeau 01-24-2020 05:57 AM

Yeah i have tried and tried to cope and be the perfect strong single mam, holding down a job while caring for my child. Yet all i have done is let him down. The past few days where i have just taken him to school without need for out of hours clubs and not being snappy because i feel like i can't do everything he already seems happier. I used to be desperate not to be a single mam claiming benefits to live, yet does it really matter as long as i and my child are happy

VinnyMcM 01-24-2020 06:09 AM

Yes, kind of.

I had a very stressful job with an awful boss that eventually helped to pull me down into an alcoholic black hole. I quit that job and took a job with half the pay but no stress. I knew going into my new job that it wasnít going to be a career but I needed to get out of my old job. I thought that would ďcureĒ my alcoholism. It didnít. I was too far gone. I took a month leave to focus on myself. Best decision Iíve ever made.

Personally, Iíve learned that I donít need a lot of money to be happy. Just think about how much time you spend at work. At my peak, I was working more hours than both my leisure time and sleep combined. Thatís a miserable life. Bottom line, if you werenít happy with your job, you did the right decision to quit. Employment really is everywhere you look. Good luck!

daisy1 01-24-2020 06:23 AM

I really hated the thought of being on benefits, I was always angry that I worked and others didn't while I paid for them. But those benefits have saved my life! You have paid into a welfare system that is there specifically for this reason - make a claim now as it takes ages to go through. You can think about work in a few months. Take this time to get better xx

MissOverIt 01-24-2020 07:57 AM

Great question. Years ago I did give up a high paying job that I hated and I was ruining because of my alcoholism. I quit (mainly because I knew I would get fired eventually) and we moved away from the city into my first house in a great small town.

This is were I actually got much worse. I was still battling the depression and trauma of what got me so sick in the first place and now I had the free time to experiment with staying drunk for several days at a time. It was one of my darkest times but I think it was part of the journey and did get myself out of it. Looking back, I donít regret quitting the job but not having any plans or support in place to get better was an invitation for my disease to grow to a whole other level. So if you do quit, just be wise and safe and you should be fine. :)

Reid82 01-24-2020 08:30 AM

It would really depend on the circumstances. I turned into a workaholic after my first Rehab. After the second I think I've found some balance now with work.

Would probably go crazy without some work, that's for me personally anyway.

SoberRican 01-24-2020 01:04 PM

I switched jobs relocated due to divorce and I was full blown in my lunacy was in a dark place for a spell. That was 265 days ago and life is still life but sobriety has many rewards. And I am reaping them. One day at a time. ✌

Anna 01-24-2020 01:09 PM

I was lucky enough to be able to go from working full-time to working part-time. It was really helpful for me to try to be less busy in my life and to focus on recovery.

Tetrax 01-24-2020 04:55 PM

Yeah I quit my last job when I was drunk, asked for it back but we were all made redundant anyway. I could - and did - then focus on recovery. Been sober ever since.

MantaLady 01-25-2020 12:40 AM

I had a well paid but very stressful job and had become trapped by it. It made me so unhappy, and I drank a lot as my way of coping. I eventually gave up work for about 8 months to focus on recovery and it helped massively. Like MissOverIt says though, having a plan and support in place was crucial otherwise I would have just used the time to get drunk all day. I was lucky I had some savings and went to rehab for 2 months which meant the remaining 6 months not working I had the tools, knowledge and aftercare support to get through. Foolishly after 8 months I was feeling great, strong, grounded and sober and returned to the same type of work and within 6 weeks found myself exhausted, depressed, stressed and in real danger of relapsing. I quit. Now I have a more stable job, better hours less stress and half the pay I used to earn but it does mean I can manage my recovery much better.

Donít put pride before your recovery. I get how hard it is to go on benefits, but like you say youíve paid into it for years and there is no shame in taking a little back to get yourself well. x

Tinkerbeau 01-25-2020 03:09 AM

Thank you all for sharing your advice and your stories with me they have been so much comfort helping me feel i have made right decision. I went to my first bipolar check up yesterday with is at a mental health unit and noticed there was a full programme of recovery/mental health/exercise and craft courses and to just meet other people i guess. These are things i couldn't do if i was working as i was either at work or with my son. So when i go to my appt next week with my consultant I'm going to ask about joining some while my son is at school.

I did some food shopping on line yesterday and because i was conscious of money i looked for basics and supermarket budget brand and cut my shopping bill in half, while probably having more food ?!! I was wasting so much money before on everything, partly thinking i worked so deserved it and part due to my bipolar

daisy1 01-25-2020 03:26 AM

That's great tink you are doing everything to make yourself better! And yes now I'm poor I am so careful with my food shopping, and I also have more food and more money - helps that it's not being spent on booze.

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