thomas11

Went to a job interview yesterday at 10AM downtown. Had reservations from start but I tried to stay optimistic. It was a nightmare and I ended up calling the agency and telling them that even if they offered me the position, I would decline.

I'm not a city person, I ended up going wrong way on a one way, parking would be $9-$16 per day. Commute is 40 minutes minimum. Never done this so I am bummed out. But I have to be realistic.

Called my wife immediately and said it wasn't going to work. She understood, she is a saint.

Am I unemployable? Do I come across as a difficult person?

biminiblue

You're not unemployable. Not in this economy, and with your previous experience.

I think interviews are just difficult in general, so much emotional baggage comes up for all of us while job hunting.

You wouldn't have taken the job anyway. I've worked in the city before, and it's not for me either. There is something for you, Jeff. The job is out there, you'll find it.

fishkiller

I HATE driving in any city. You are not alone there.
Not sure of your situation but if you can hold out for something less stressful its probably for the best.

At least you did the right thing by telling them you didnt want the job. Possibly saved them a lot of time if they were gonna offer you the job just to have you decline. Good on you for that.

Keep looking my freind. There is a seat for every a$$

VinnyMcM

You would be paying ~$3,000 in parking per year. You would be spending ~2500 hours a year just commuting to work. And if you aren’t a city person, that job would’ve been awful. I’m not a city person either.

Thomas, I don’t know you or your backstory but I am certain you are not unemployable. There really are plenty of jobs out there. Just be patient.

doggonecarl

I wouldn't say you come across as a difficult person, but rather as a person dealing with a lot of difficulties right now. Not all of them successfully.

That demeanor could be coming across in your interviews if you are as forthright there as you are here.

Seeking employment is tough, often demeaning. As someone who has made my work and my career part of my identity, I empathize completely.

Cityboy

As others have said, there is tons of work available. Many small businesses that cannot offer the attractive packages have all but given up on finding decent qualified help.

Good that you are being realistic about finding a good fit though.

On the extremely rare occasion that I interview applicants, I try to trust my instincts on that person being worth the effort, but they get a lot of points if they communicate an eagerness to give it a go.

MLD51

I used to work in the downtown area I believe you are speaking of. I was young and enthusiastic, and parking was cheaper then. There's no way I'd do it now. Hold out for something that won't cause you as much stress as it sounds like that job would have caused you. That's not healthy for your sobriety. I seriously doubt you are unemployable. There is a LOT of work out there. It sounds like you are going through an agency - can you think about trying looking on Glassdoor or Indeed? Or networking on LinkedIn? If you are in the metro area I think you are in, there are jobs. Keep looking. You'll find something.

LastInLine

I had a similar experience when I first took on some clients in a major city. But it was the only way I could really advance in my career.

You get used to it, the traffic. It always sucks, but you learn to deal with it.

Do they have a metro system you can use? I have some co-workers who just get the metro in from outside the city so as not to have to deal with it.

I also made a deal that I can work from home about 50% of the time. Not sure if that is an option for you, but it's becoming more common.

But I get it completely, I was the same way, I was working with a recruiter and when she told me about the current work with my biggest client, I was like 'No way I'm driving down there!'.

sva777

I am a small business owner in NYC metro area. I hate going into the city for work but it is a necessary evil as that is where some of the clients are. Parking $60 - $100 per day is normal. Commute time can be anywhere from 30- 160 min depending on location and traffic.

I definitely don't envy my wife who rides the train 90 min each way into Manhattan five days a week.

I cherish the days I don't need to leave my upstate workshop. It would be awesome if all the clients could just come to me

thomas11

Not to sound to shallow, but if this was a job where I was going to make some real money, it would be a different story. Rather, this is an entry level customer service job (which I'm totally fine with). But weighing the compensation with the amount of time and sacrifice on my part doesn't make sense. There is so much work out there right now.

I am at a stage in my life where the quality of my life matters. I want time to read, workout, play with my dog, talk to my wife, research things etc....

When I go to LA to check on our rentals, I feel so bad for some of these people. There are folks who take the fly-a-way from Van Nuys to LAX, work their shift and then take the fly-a-way back home. The fly-a-way is an hour each way. So during the week all these folks do is work and travel. So sad.

PurpleKnight

That's the positive spirit, you'll find something that suits better, keep looking for that right opportunity!!

saoutchik

Is it possible to commute by other means? Say drive to a train station. Car sharing sites are gaining in popularity in the UK and you might find someone else working at the same organisation who you could car share with. A motor bike or even one of those electric bikes could be worth looking at as they are cheap or free to park and quicker than a car once you're in the city.

Dee74

Sounds like the job wasn't a good fit. Nothing to get down on yourself about that, Jeff.

D

Anna

Jeff, I'm sorry it didn't work out. I'm a city girl, but I've always used public transit when commuting to work because I don't like driving in the city in rush hour. Look at the interview as an experience that you learned something from. There will be more opportunities along the lines of what you are looking for. Be kind to yourself.

nez

Don't be down on yourself. You are not unemployable. You are on the path of recovery and getting better. Part of being better is not settling for good enough. Good enough never is. Humility and courage will bring you together with employment that will turn out to be the right choice.

Surrendered19

You are totally employable Jeff. If it didn't feel right it is good to listen to your instincts on that downtown job. Your first gut is usually right.

To answer your last question I have seen the digital you come across as a difficult person. But the thing that made you difficult did the same thing to all of us. When I was drinking, I would wake up the next morning totally and completely shocked at what I had said and done the night before. A thousand times.

But the real you is obviously a very intelligent and insightful person willing to help others. The opposite of difficult.

You will find your place Jeff.

Buckley3

Some awesome advice and replies already so I'll keep this short.

Difficult person? Not at all. Perhaps you are asserting yourself a bit which is a good thing. Avoiding putting yourself in a position that you know the circumstances of will make you miserable is a GOOD thing.

I mean, I get it - realistically we all have to do what we have to do. But the more you can find a solution that doesn't present so much anxiety riddled triggers the better off you'll be - even if it means taking something for a bit less money.

-B

PS - It's a great day to not drink!

D122y

I get down too. But then I see a guy at the gym that is limping around because he had a stroke or something.

Btw...

Mira was mentioning a nice sound online job.

I just remembered.

Thanks.

EndGameNYC

It might be helpful to consider the things you have to offer to a new employer. Be kind to yourself if you do. Thoughts of being unemployable seem to be more about dispair than an honest accounting of yourself. It doesn't stay that way forever.

You have a lot of good experience and you've struggled through some difficult times. All of that counts.

Keeping at it is courageous and will reveal more of who you are over time. It can bring to light new and different perspectives, ways of being in the world that, from your current position, are likely unimaginable. That doesn't have to stay that way forever.

The fact that you haven't yet found something that can work for you doesn't mean that you're not fit to reach your goals. This is just a stop on your way to something better and, some day, a potentially strong point of reference about what you're capable of doing.

least

Hang on and keep looking, the right job will come to you if you meet it halfway. Be good to yourself and don't add any extra stress if you can help it.