Blogs


Notices

Cant take it anymore (the gulag)

Old 01-21-2020, 06:05 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
Cant take it anymore (the gulag)

Ensuring that a person cannot recover from CPTSD at all costs

Quick background...

I have been abused my entire life- from pillar to post- On every level.

I'll spare folks the details, but everyone knows it. And not by my family.

I have been abused, essentially, by the governments. FACT.

It goes way deeper than this, but...

I have been denied medical care, I have been denied legal right's,

I have been denied education grants, even access to basic information.

I have been denied all of my basic civil & human rights, since childhood.

AND IT'S STILL GOING ON. Nobody does anything to help (very few do)

I took a stand against all of this, and had it thrown back in my face.

Punishment after punishment, for speaking the truth! WTF man?


In a post-Christian world, where do ya turn?

Some people will do anything not to help a person.

That much I do know.
Spacegoat is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Spacegoat For This Useful Post:
Steely (01-22-2020), Wholesome (02-28-2020)
Old 01-21-2020, 07:06 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Surrendered19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 847
Hi SpaceGoat. Is everything ok in your immediate physical world? You sober and healthy? Or not and looking for some support?

Even though I am afraid of the answer, I'll ask - what is CPTSD?
Surrendered19 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Surrendered19 For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (02-28-2020), Delilah1 (01-21-2020), JK130 (02-29-2020), Spacegoat (01-21-2020), Steely (01-22-2020)
Old 01-21-2020, 07:33 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 83,081
Blog Entries: 32
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
least is online now  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (02-28-2020), Delilah1 (01-21-2020), HeadEast (01-21-2020), Spacegoat (01-21-2020), Steely (02-27-2020)
Old 01-21-2020, 07:43 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
Hi Surrendered (eta: hey least!) Well... Yes to all.

My case has really nothing to do with drink or drugs and it never did.

Guess I am looking for some support as I never actually get any (IRL)

Nor am Iet to heal in peace... Which I can do. That is the real problem.

(I can heal myself and other's easily-have been doing it my whole life)


Here's a little bit about the stress disorder (and thanks hey)




I'm being driven into the ground here because I didn't get the diagnosis.

Deliberately misdiganosed, imo. Which is unforgiveable in my book.

Physically, I'm now dying slowly but surely as a result.

Has been going on for a long time too.

And some are enjoying it...
Spacegoat is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Spacegoat For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (02-28-2020), HeadEast (01-21-2020), Steely (01-22-2020)
Old 01-21-2020, 07:45 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Surrendered19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 847
I'm sorry Spacegoat. Complex PTSD sounds beyond scary. I also know how maddening dealing with the government can be. I work for a local government and I spend no small amount of my time the last many years trying to get govt. employees to realize how much power they have. They can help make someone's life better or not. It is, in many cases, up to them.

I will go to my grave not understanding why you wouldn't choose to wield your little slice of government power and authority to do good - every single time. You bothered to get out of bed, go to work down at City Hall, so why not get something positive done. I have observed an infinite number of elaborate work avoidance mechanisms and they all begin with telling people "no" when that is not the only answer there is. The bureaucracy is a rough rough beast. I have probably talked directly with a thousand govt. workers about this issue and have spoken about the issue to many thousands of people and I don't feel like I've made a whit of difference.

But my vow to you SpaceGoat is to always keep trying to get my colleagues to do good for the people we are supposed to be serving, including you.
Surrendered19 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Surrendered19 For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (02-28-2020), Delilah1 (01-21-2020), jr67 (01-21-2020), MLD51 (01-22-2020), Spacegoat (01-21-2020), Steely (01-22-2020)
Old 01-21-2020, 07:57 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 184,930
Blog Entries: 1
Hi spacegoat

I have no answers man - it took me many years to have my very evident physical condition recognised - but you have my support and the support of others here.

You're may be under duress but you are not alone.

All I can say is you deserve help, not censure.
keep fighting. If you stop fighting noone else will fight for you.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (02-28-2020), Delilah1 (01-21-2020), HeadEast (01-21-2020), Spacegoat (01-22-2020), Steely (01-22-2020), Verdantia (01-25-2020)
Old 01-21-2020, 09:11 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
Thanks Dee. Got great support on this board, I'm grateful for it.

And I am not gonna stop fighting... I haven't even started yet.

We're certainly not aIone. This is a big thing (think biblical)

It affects everyone... And, it's all gonna come out in the end.


Was trying to edit my last post to add this, but for the time...
It's a twisted tale, no doubt. But my concern here is for my health.

Thank you Surrendered.

Originally Posted by Surrendered19 View Post
I work for a local government and I spend no small amount of my time the last many years trying to get govt. employees to realize how much power they have. They can help make someone's life better or not. It is, in many cases, up to them.
I know this, without ever having to be told it. Having worked all manner of jobs (hard ones) throughout my adolescence and early adulthood, I never had one where I could just choose if I wanted to do it or not. Especially where working with/for other people was involved.

And I have never even had a govt. job. Which, to my knowledge, is on God

Originally Posted by Surrendered19 View Post
I will go to my grave not understanding why you wouldn't choose to wield your little slice of government power and authority to do good - every single time.
Same as that. Here's the thing...

To my understanding- there's not supposed to be another choice.

Originally Posted by Surrendered19 View Post
You bothered to get out of bed, go to work down at City Hall, so why not get something positive done.

I have observed an infinite number of elaborate work avoidance mechanisms and they all begin with telling people "no" when that is not the only answer there is.
Exactly that.

It's wanting wickedness and corruption, 101 (demonism)

Originally Posted by Surrendered19 View Post
my vow to you SpaceGoat is to always keep trying to get my colleagues to do good for the people we are supposed to be serving, including you.
I appreciate that. Here's the thing- most people are good, I know that.

Government systems were designed (by the Most High) for the good.

Not for the few or even the many, but of all. So, who are these people?

Who might they be working for, and, what is it they really believe in??


They are definitely in the minority, that much I can say with certainty.

And all of these systems were designed to be held accountable, also...


I'm gonna clock off for tonight, thanks to you both for the help though.

Peace
Spacegoat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Spacegoat For This Useful Post:
Steely (02-28-2020)
Old 01-22-2020, 11:03 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,855
Hey Spacegoat, you'll not go short of some support here on SR, this place is a refuge for so many
PurpleKnight is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to PurpleKnight For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-22-2020), Spacegoat (01-22-2020), Steely (02-27-2020)
Old 01-22-2020, 05:01 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,263
Hi Spacegoat,

I understand your frustration with seeking support from the government and being denied. I have a family member who is cognitively impaired, diagnosed with bipolar, and is completely non-functional in regard to paying bills, managing money, tending to daily activities of living. We support this family member behind the scenes - housing purchased and then put in his name, all bills managed/paid by us, all important paperwork (health, taxes, etc) sent to us to manage. He has applied for disability multiple times and been denied each and every time. The rationale is that he lives alone and can function independently.

We have come to learn that the only way to fight the system is to hire a lawyer trained in disability law as they know the system. That is so ridiculous to me - the people who need the help the most donít have the resources to hire legal counsel. I donít have any advice, just keep fighting the good fight. I hope things change for you.
Atlast9999 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Atlast9999 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-22-2020), Spacegoat (01-23-2020), Steely (01-22-2020)
Old 01-22-2020, 05:06 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 53,044
Scapegoat, you must not give up fighting for yourself and for what you deserve. I'm sorry it's been so tough for you and that it seems you are alone, but you aren't. I may not have had the same fights that you are having, but I've had to fight for a lot and I can relate.
Anna is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-22-2020), Spacegoat (01-23-2020), Steely (01-22-2020)
Old 01-22-2020, 06:52 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Steely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 8,589
Hi Spacegoat.

Yes, it's a drag, hey?

Are there pro bono disability lawyers in your country?
Steely is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Steely For This Useful Post:
Spacegoat (01-23-2020)
Old 01-23-2020, 02:19 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
Hi guy's. I have no fight in me- I'm just assuming I can get back to the position I've mostly always held, which was very strong.

It's about my health. The legal game which is being played upon me, has become very much the problem now for me (no joke)

Thanks anyway. I have a docs apt. this morning, so gtg. I need support. Was in total fear this morning after waking up here.

I'm 'ok' now after a mouthful coffee. But my health is very much on the decline here and will continue to be so. Sick situation...
Spacegoat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Spacegoat For This Useful Post:
Steely (01-23-2020)
Old 01-23-2020, 07:20 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
Ok so I'm back... In the gulag...


Had the docs appointment, who referrred me to the mental hospital.

And while my symptoms were recognised they are not yet 'officially'.

Therefore, I'm still living with the consequence of the misdiagnosis'.


Seen the consultant drive by, who I was told no longer worked there.

He did nothing to help. How long is a piece of string? I'm going back...

I have to get out of here guys. Anyone got any ideas??? It's a disgrace.
Spacegoat is offline  
Old 01-23-2020, 07:23 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
What a tangled web they weave, when first they practice to decieve.
Spacegoat is offline  
Old 01-23-2020, 08:21 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
So anyway, there is some good news also...


I will have support from the mental health service. That's important.

The lady doctor I met was very nice. Pretty also! But that's an aside.


I'm just so sick of this place guy's. I cant live like this and never could.

It's going on a long time also. I have lost and missed out on so much.

And so have my children. Kid has suffered enormously, and it shows.

That is what is really unforgiveable, in so far as I am concerned here.
Spacegoat is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Spacegoat For This Useful Post:
Anna (01-23-2020), Steely (01-23-2020)
Old 01-23-2020, 01:18 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 184,930
Blog Entries: 1
I'm glad theres a good side Spacegoat.
Hope the MHS can help.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Steely (01-23-2020)
Old 01-23-2020, 01:23 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
Thanks Dee.

Same here, as I would have a lot of recovery to be doing.

Like, more than anyone should have. Here's to the future


Yeah Steely- total drag. I dont know much about lawyers.

Good point guys, but I gotta look after my health first of all.

Holistically
Spacegoat is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Spacegoat For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-23-2020), MantaLady (01-23-2020), Steely (01-23-2020)
Old 01-23-2020, 03:08 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Surrendered19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 847
What is the plan for the mental health service Spacegoat? I hope you have an appt. And I hope it allows you to sort out some of what is ailing you. I'm only a few months in to my healthy journey and I'll tell you my addiction counselor has been an invaluable part of my recovery.
Surrendered19 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Surrendered19 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-23-2020), Spacegoat (01-23-2020), Steely (01-23-2020)
Old 01-23-2020, 04:16 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
Hiya Surrendered. Long day here. Was hoping to get a few days inpatient...

Just for the rest. Alas, I don't qualify for that- which is a good thing.

But I was assured that I would have their support, going forward.


By way of some good psychological appts. (counselling & therapy?)

Jungian, I'd imagine. But whatever. I dont have any addictions, tbh.

(Eta: apart from nicotine, that is. On a higher dose w/ my vape atm)


That's the good news. I guess that's the plan? It's been a long time coming, if so.

Really nice lady shrink, btw. Would have no problem seeing her again- even out of hours!

(LOL. Sorry. Did notice her playing with her hair though. Hmm... Interesting!)


I'm very professionally minded when it comes to things and always have been.

Just depends where I place my focus... Or where I have to... As is usually the case.


All in all, I feel that today was a good day Thanks guys
Spacegoat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Spacegoat For This Useful Post:
Steely (02-28-2020)
Old 01-23-2020, 04:47 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
'Shalomar'
Thread Starter
 
Spacegoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,436
Wait now, I might be wrong about the Jungian thing.

Probabaly unnecessary. That was a guess on my part.

Recovery from (much) trauma, whatever that entails.

Just getting ready for bed here. Thanks again
Spacegoat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Spacegoat For This Useful Post:
Steely (02-28-2020)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:32 PM.