August252015

I'm still a counter, tho not every day. I used an app for a long time - SoberTime I think. It had a money function too which was mind blowing in very short order. After maybe 2.5 yrs I stopped noting each day in my calendar, and noted wkly on the calendar. Sometimes now, coming up on 4 yr 2/21, I will look up a random day

What are you doing to stay sober? That's the important part, like surrendered points out.

August252015

Yes!
LastinLine - it was like learning to live, sort of again and also in a new way if that duality makes sense. Every choice matters - and framing it as what I started GETTING to do bc I was sober, rather than any negative words (like I CAN'T xyz bc I don't drink) was a big mental shift.

Some of the most (now seeming) basic stuff was jaw dropping. Someone would say something and the penny would drop - like the first time I heard someone say, "You know, you don't actually HAVE to drink again."

Glad you are here.

Dee74

Oblivion is not really a viable long term cure for boredom

The best cure for boredom is to do something.

I spent a few months sitting on my sofa waiting for something to happen, til I realised that was drinking associated behaviour.

Sober me had to get up off the couch and do stuff to get something out of each day


D

LastInLine

I'd often make it to 6pm or so because that would be when I'd arrive back from a visit with clients in the city. But as soon as I walked in the door, I'd barely get my shoes off until I was headed to the fridge.

"I just watched flirty dancing with my wife."

Lol, that's terrifying man. Wife and I have been watching a few chick flicks lately too. I guess it's my punishment for staying drunk for a decade and ignoring her most of the time.

August252015

I had to learn to correctly identify stuff like "boredom" - usually not what's actually going on, but rather an emotion or frustration or something that I was used to "handling" with ever more alcohol.

LastInLine

Trying really hard to do that, but it's like nothing is fun without the alcohol. I've also noticed that besides my job, everything I attempt to do seems monumentally difficult, like I've never actually done anything before and I can't grasp how to do it.

Today, I was just trying to mount a little LED grow light on a metal shelf. It's just one of those metal shelves you can buy at Home Depot and put together in different ways with plastic connectors. It was already put together, my wife has some flowers on it and I just needed to remove one small section. It's really very simple the way those things go together, but I just stared at that thing like I needed to construct an interstellar spacecraft.

My brain feels weird, it's like neurons are firing, but no connections are really being made and it's all just one big short circuit.

August252015

It takes time for our brains to re-wire, re-focus, adjust to life w/o alcohol.

LastInLine

It can't happen soon enough. I wasn't expecting any of this. I did a lot of research before quitting so I'd know what to expect. But what I was expecting or at least fearful of was getting sick and not sleeping. Not sleeping didn't happen, just the opposite, I started sleeping better than I had in years almost right away. I did get sick, nausea and anxiety, nervousness, but it wasn't that bad and passed quickly after the first 7-10 days or so. I just hadn't thought about what happens after that. But I'm just as determined to get through this phase as I was the first part. The first week was prettty rough, there were few really bad days, but I guess I was lucky, could have been a lot worse.

Thanks for the encouragement.

fishkiller

I believe this 100%.
With all the stuff I have to do and can do I should never be bored.
Usually when I got that feeling drinking is exactly what I would do.

Thanks for posting this

August252015

^Welcome. It was such a valuable lesson and change in perspective. I mean, how freaking boring was it drinking vodka every night?!

And LIL - I'd recommend the book Living Sober. It describes the first yr of sobriety and is really useful and an easy read, too.

Expectations of "being better" can be huge stumbling blocks for people- not seeing (enough) improvement fast enough can make a lot of us think it's just better to go back to drinking. we knew how THAT made us feel and the change is uncomfortable, to say the least.

LastInLine

Hi everyone. I think I haven't posted for a couple of days. I thought today was 22 days, but it's actually 23 days sober now.

My brain cells are scattered all over the multiverse. I'm going to be the first space cadet for the new space force.

My bored low mood feeling has improved a little more over the last couple of days. There are a few rewarding moments, like my wife and I sitting together at the dining table in the mornings, drinking coffee and talking before I start work. Then tonight when I arrived home, she greeted me and was all huggy/kissy and smiles. Wow, I can't even remember the last time that happened. 10 years ago?

I don't feel like I'm out of the woods by a long ways, but I do feel a little more positive.

ZIP

Nice work! What really helped me in my decades long battle with alcohol was the support of my wife. No matter what drunken thing I did, or foolish thing I said, she was always there for me. Once I began genuinely staying sober, I realized that my "personal sobriety journey" rightfully included her.
Stay the course...life does indeed get better.

August252015

Good job and thanks for the update! And the scatterbrain stuff - very memorable to me

Reid82

The one thing I would say is that now that we're sober we can do anything! The old "I'm bored cos I'm sober" idea is really because we were stuck in a routine of simply getting messed up and having no drive, no ambition, etc.

We can now simply go out and do new things, new hobbies, etc. But it takes up getting up off our backsides and doing it I'm afraid.

fishkiller

100% When I'd get "bored" I would just drink.
A week ago I'd just click on the TV.
Lately I've been forcing myself to pick a project and get going. I find once I start all is good. Spent 10 hours yesterday working on my shop when I just set out to do a few things. It just snowballed.

August252015

Sometimes, it even takes just REMINDING myself that I can do stuff. The pause and conscious thought "I get to ...." is so helpful sometimes, even here a little ways in sobriety. And that's OK! It's one tool we have to keep going and live more.

LastInLine

Hello everyone. Still counting days. Day 29 today.

I had a rough couple of days yesterday and day before. I had the worst alcohol cravings. Hard to really describe it. It was a bit different and a lot more intense than I had the first week after I quit. Like many other things, I didn't expect it at all. I thought anything like that was long gone. Maybe it was just due to the fact that I was a little stressed over a couple of things 2 days ago, then yesterday my friends were calling me leaving messages inviting me to a Superbowl party. I feel sort of bad because I didn't even answer or call anyone back. Because I felt like I might drink.

Oh well, today is another day and I feel better. No cravings today and feeling pretty good.

Robbie64

Congrats on Day 29. It's soon going to be a full month.

I don't know the Dio song but I love that Queensryche song. It's their second biggest hit in the UK, after 'Silent Lucidity' which is another good song.

Silver22

You have a ton of energy that you didn't or couldn't use before. You'll find what you need to be doing I'm sure. I've felt that not knowing what to do also (hours spent drinking has to be hours spent doing something else). I paced up and down the house, then opened a cupboard and just took everything out. There was nothing in there that I wanted or needed (and some things I didn't know I had). That cupboard is now empty. A little bit of cleansing really helped. Another one is shredding old papers. That's very cathartic - seeing crappy life stuff that once hurt you die! Pulling up weeds in the garden is another - I've not cared for the garden for years (didn't fit with drinking of course). It looked like a jungle (well it still does quite a bit) but after half an hour of hard physical work (for me) I felt absolutely brand new and bursting with happiness. Who knew!

On the other hand, there's deep relaxation.. have you tried meditation?

Silver x

fishkiller

Good job fighting the AV my rock n roll brother!

Goes to show we must remain ready at all times. Maybe not on full alert but prepared to recognize and destroy the enemy whenever it shows its disgusting face.

Dont feel bad about not returning calls.
This is about you and only you.

Congrats on 30!