I've been strong. Unfortunately, I'm not strong
 

I'm Sherman32. Back in the old days - i was 3 or 4 years sober. I'm gettting my ass kicked these days.

One of the stupidest things I can think of is I need to get laid. I try like hell to. I get nowhere.

That doesn't matter - because I need to get sober. I'm usually a tough mofo about this. And frankly if I could put alcoholism aside and just get it all done, I think I'd be doing a great job in life.


I just get so obsessed with women.. Its bad. Its all alcohol and women to me. And women never want to be with me. Its ****** up..

I need to dry up. I've done a terrible job of doing that lately. Can anyone help my drunk dumb ass feel better? I need to be more of a leader than a nonsense guy. It makes it that much tougher... Ughhh.

Sherman32... Who is now Sherman40

Hi Sherman, could meditation help refocus you on something else? There's an app called Headspace that's supposed to be pretty good.

I'm not sure. Don't care much for apps. Justt trying to get my head straight. I have a smartphone - but I really don't trust the damn thing.

Hi sherman - welcome back.

Yeah I think you need to raise your sights a little. Getting sober and staying that way is probably the better focus.

I think you could do worse than starting posting here everyday.

I had to plan ahead a little - make sure my house was free of booze and make up a few strategies to stop me buying more, and posting here was part of that.

The folks here helped me turn my life around and be the man I wanted to be - its got to be worth a shot?

D

Hello and welcome. Well for starters you got to get your mind right feel me. How? Well you not gonna like it but you got give up the sauce my friend. One Day at a time. I know its easier said than done. But it is doable shoot I was in the same boat you were 259 days ago my friend. Am I gonna tell you its all peaches and cream? No. But its easier to deal with issues once the crap gets out of your system. All I can say is give it a shot. ✌

Strength wasn't the key for me.

Surrender was.

I give up, I surrender my old booze soaked life for the possibility of a new sober one.

Throw in the towel, get out of the ring.

Thank you all. I was at one point sober for a long time. And was doing so great. You guys are helping me ease back into this. I appreciate it.

I'll get this straight somehow. Not 100% sure how - it gets so much tougher with age. I should be called sherman41 now.


I spent so many years sober. Then ****** it up. And here I am. I just need to know I'm a good man, good person, who tries to do well. I'm not sure I'm that person.

Thanks! I've kicked out all the empty bottles, all the empty cardboard boxes, and all that nonsense. Now that that is done - I gotta toughen up a bit and not be such a wimp to alcohol (I know that sounds weird... - but I've fixed this before. I struggle big time right now)

Its a mofo. I can fix it i think. And I sure as god hope I can help someone else get rid of this nonsense. Its a terrible disease ( or whatever it really is - not sure - but I beleive its a disease)
:dee

What got you started again ?

Ugg. Thats a tough thing to say. I had this greek girl with big boobs, but she said - **** you.

Thats fine - I guess I can take rejection. Met my wife. I wouldn't dare say things like big boobs around her. Its a whole different story there. I'm one lucky mofo to have her mentally near me. She's so great. But I've slipped up big time. I guess I dried up back in 2011 - wettened up in 2014 or so. Been suffering since. Wife now tolerates me since 2016 or so.


I gotta dry up. It blows big time!!!!

I was somewhat lucky that I could just hold on to the alcohol for some many years.

Unfortunately, I just ****** that up. I tried like hell, but I need to sober up. I took a break, it was working for me. And now it doesn't come close to working for me.

What happened was I got cheated on back about 6-7 years ago. TBH - I never really recovered from that. Found my wife, been lucky as hell as a result. I should have stayed sober then - I think my wife would love that now. I need to be more sober for my wife. I just hold a bit of anger at the big titted greek girl from back then.....ughhh.

I need ideas on that. I used to go to therapy when i was like 12. I probably need to go back to some more. I hate the stereotypes around therapy.

I'll do it if the internet tells me to do it. It sucks. But it is what it is.

Thanks.

I know what it takes to be sober. I'm not doing that right now - mainly because I feel so useless in trying to do so. Its tough to be sober. I know the most important thing is just being okay with oneselve regarless. I try like hell. At the end of the day, I do terrible. I need to fix this somehow. Not sure how. I'm just a terrible person. Help!

I should also point out - I'm a married man. I think my wife hates me. I try so hard to not have her hate me. Unfortunately, I think she does. I'm weak. And I've been terrible to her (never been abusive physically - and never mentally!) She is the best thing that ever has happened to me. I'm a lucky ******.

Seriously - How does one deal with that?

I'm hearing ya !

Relapse kicked my butt too and I know that libido in hyper drive problem as well.

The good news is I suppose, that you are starting to realize that it can't go on like this and in a way you are on the home straight of this alcoholic run.

Might be a good idea to have a look at a program this time.

Dude - or dudette. Thanks . I'm really on my ass to fix this. My wife has been on and off - and she knows she needs to delegate this to me.

And she should. But it also gives me as unique opportunity to fix this. To make it right by her. And how the hell do I do that? Its alot of work. I think I can do it. And I will try like hell to fix this. But Its alot of work - and why should anyone have to fight this hard? Addiction is tough. Loving someone isn't. Balancing that out is really tough.

Ughhh.
:thanks
:scared:


:a043:

I plan on fixing alot of this. I'm a tough ol son of a gun. I'm also pretty darn weak old man. I sound cocky throughout this thread - and I should. Why, because my wife is just that great. And what I do right now sucks - and nobody likes a dumb drunk. And thats what I am. I'm sorry. And I will fix this. I also gotta ask myself why do i fix this. Regardless, thats the goal.

I willl fix this. Sorry for being such a bastard. We'll make it okay!

I have driven away many women with my drinking. Let's face it, being a drunk is just not attractive to any self-respecting woman. In my case, the booze always won out.

I found that my ability to remain faithful to one woman is commensurate with my ability to walk away from booze. All that I was looking for in the meaningless pursuit of women during my drinking is found in my sobriety. I think that for many of us the pain that we cause ourselves when we're drunks we seek to have absolved in the sexual pursuit of men or women or whatever we are into

I just know now that I don't have to fight the urges sexually that I used to when I was deep in a bender or coming off another nasty drunk weekend. It's so much more of a meaningful, peaceful and better way to live. But it takes work.