Can’t deal with the hurt
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Sorry you have had to find those things out noaddedsugar. I know it is hard but you now have to decide how you are going to deal with the situation and you can be really proud of yourself if you handle this sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Awww I am so sorry to hear this. Life can be really **** sometimes. I can totally identify with wanting to numb the pain but picking up a drink now will just intensify your pain a million times over. 6 months is an absolutely amazing achievement. You are going to feel hurt, You are going to feel sad and most probably angry too. Drinking may numb these feelings temporarily but they will still be there when you put the drink down and then you will have a whole lot of other pain to deal with. Hangovers, guilt, shame. If you are an alcoholic like me, you may not even come back from your next drink. Alcohol solves absolutely nothing.
I admire you for coming here to post. Keep sharing how you are feeling. We are here to support you.
❤��❤��
I admire you for coming here to post. Keep sharing how you are feeling. We are here to support you.
❤��❤��
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 354
I feel for you, and I understand the temptation completely.
But a drink won't change what has happened. I'm still dealing with the cr*p life threw at me 6 months ago because I spent the 2nd half of 2019 trying to make it go away with ever increasing amounts of alcohol.
It's difficult, and it hurts (a lot), but I've managed to process that pain and hurt and anger more in the past 13 days of sobriety than I did in those entire 6 months.
It's not going to be easy, but hang in there. And make the absolute most of all your available support networks.
But a drink won't change what has happened. I'm still dealing with the cr*p life threw at me 6 months ago because I spent the 2nd half of 2019 trying to make it go away with ever increasing amounts of alcohol.
It's difficult, and it hurts (a lot), but I've managed to process that pain and hurt and anger more in the past 13 days of sobriety than I did in those entire 6 months.
It's not going to be easy, but hang in there. And make the absolute most of all your available support networks.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
noadded - I'm sorry for the painful time you're going through. Being tempted is understandable, but what would it really accomplish? Temporary numbness - and then that awful regret. You need a clear head to decide what to do. Please be kind to yourself & don't drink.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
I can relate on minor level. Many years back I had a girl cheat on me. Not to the tune of a miscarriage but it was still cheating. I drank through it. Never discussed the issue. Just ignored it and numbed myself. Stayed with her for a while until it inevitably ended.
No one here can tell you what to do with your situation but I can absolutely guarantee you that drinking will make this exponentially worse.
No one here can tell you what to do with your situation but I can absolutely guarantee you that drinking will make this exponentially worse.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I'm really sorry noaddedsugar.
Ask yourself tho - will drinking on those things make them better - that never worked for me, not even on the small annoyances of life, so how/why would it work on the big stuff?
It would just make everything that much worse.
I'm glad you came back here for help and support. Lean on us.
Give yourself the chance to see how strong and capable you are. You can deal with this, sober, I promise.
D
Ask yourself tho - will drinking on those things make them better - that never worked for me, not even on the small annoyances of life, so how/why would it work on the big stuff?
It would just make everything that much worse.
I'm glad you came back here for help and support. Lean on us.
Give yourself the chance to see how strong and capable you are. You can deal with this, sober, I promise.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 221
Thankyou so much for your support everyone.
I got in and went to bed shortly after this post. Been keeping busy at work and stuff so managed to be distracted. I know it won’t solve anything I’ve just gotta get through this.
I got in and went to bed shortly after this post. Been keeping busy at work and stuff so managed to be distracted. I know it won’t solve anything I’ve just gotta get through this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Well done noaddedsugar. You stayed sober through a really awful day. I'm sorry for your personal loss and that your partner is a dink. You deserve better than that. Keep posting and stay sober. If you need to remember what your hangovers were like then imagine adding that layer to what you are already dealing with.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Originally Posted by noaddedsugar 
Thankyou so much for your support everyone.
I got in and went to bed shortly after this post. Been keeping busy at work and stuff so managed to be distracted. I know it won’t solve anything I’ve just gotta get through this.
I got in and went to bed shortly after this post. Been keeping busy at work and stuff so managed to be distracted. I know it won’t solve anything I’ve just gotta get through this.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
ultimately, drinking again would be kicking yourself to the curb. you’ve been kicked enough.
do something good for yourself instead. something nice.
way to go on coming here and walking through the day!
do something good for yourself instead. something nice.
way to go on coming here and walking through the day!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Good morning . hey man I feel ya on that situation. Not a good feeling. But like everyone else said. Boozing now is not going to do sh$t but make it worse. You will get thru this storm . tour mind is right right now dont booger it up. Go thru the motions. Everything happens for a reason. You'll see. Hang in there buddy. ✌
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
I’m so sorry, that is a lot to handle in one week, and as tempting as that drink seems it won’t make it better. Do you have family or friends nearby you can spend some time with today? Also, think about going to talk to a counselor. I have had a few really difficult moments in my life that I felt like everything was caving in and I found speaking to a counselor really helpful.
Sending lots of love your way today.❤️
Sending lots of love your way today.❤️
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