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Old 01-16-2020, 12:56 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Relasped due to sever anxiety


Hi everyone iam stuck in abit of a rut

I've been sober since new year's.......with binge drinking inbetween.

I went :
5 days
binge
5days
Binge
Binge
4 days
Hungover today



Iam stuck in a cycle of extreme anxiety at around day 4, doom, hopelessness , no meaning to life, absolute despair etc etc etc.

After this Binge I obviously have a hangover (not a bad one)
But my anxiety is gone and I have a strange sense of self confidence. I believe the alcohol masks the anxiety??

Iam not justifying the drinking, but hoping someone can relate to what's going on.

Thankyou
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Old 01-16-2020, 02:01 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Railtek

For me drinking on anxiety just made me more anxious - it was like gasoline to a lighted flame.

It's no answer.

How far down the path of getting professional help for your anxiety have you been?

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Old 01-16-2020, 02:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
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7 Anxiety is my main trigger. I can sit with it for the most part until it builds up into an all out anxiety attack at which point absolutely nothing will stop me from trying to get a drink in me. A few beers provides instant relief. That sense of impending doom is just so overwhelming. I can't think or even see straight. I've never been able to stay sober because anxiety seems to hijack my brain and reasoning. It's like a reflex to seek alcohol when I get these attacks. Tunnel vision ensues.

Of course, the anxiety was all caused by my drinking in the first place. I'm getting better at recognizing when these anxiety attacks are hitting though and getting better at talking myself down .
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Old 01-16-2020, 02:35 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I used deep breathing exercises, meditation and maybe a nap to deal with the anxiety. It seemed like it took a long time to get past this at the time but it gets so much better and is well worth the effort!
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Old 01-16-2020, 02:35 AM   #5 (permalink)
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First of all, I too was suckered by alcohol as an attempt at regulating/controlling my anxiety.

Sure you know this but its BAD news and will keep you in a hellish vicious cycle.

When I came here a hot, hysterical, blubbering mess, some wise forum member who noticed my pattern said it seemed that the horrific binges were an emotional release of sorts.

I think he was spot on in my case. Dont know if it rings true for you, just throwing it out there.

What finally seems to be working for me is an anti D that is also prescribed for anxiety.

My compulsion to binge compulsivly is gone.

I have lifes up and downs but theyre much more manageable and I never get the urge to binge anymore.

I was a severe case, so just throwing it out there in case it helps.

i have hope for the first time in a long time and can manage my emotions in healthier ways now.

Maybe see a doctor?

Oh one more thing. Ive gotten better on this medication without benzos. Not one in at least over 4 months. Dont need then anymore. Thank God.
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Old 01-16-2020, 02:52 AM   #6 (permalink)
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The booze caused it and cured it.

Unfortunately, my anxiety still has not fully gone away after nearly 5 years without being drunk.

The only way out, without a Dr., was to suffer.

My alky buddy told me that he got anxiety meds from the Dr., then drank while on them.

This took him into another depth of hell on earth.

The only way out for me was time and suffering.

The suffering made me never want to drink again or face that hell.

What I experienced was entry level clinical insanity.

Don't need that.

I will never drink again.

Thanks.
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Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 01-16-2020, 03:45 AM   #7 (permalink)
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All 5 responses were great I resonated with everything.

iam generally considering seeing a specialist very soon to better deal with this ongoing problem. I've had it for years something is going on.

i once went sober for 3 months and at month 3 I had this exact same attack.

My father is fine but my mother has been in heavy depression all her life come to think of it. But I know for a fact alcohol is a big part of it.
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Old 01-16-2020, 03:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Well, I was prone to anxiety, full blown panic, hyperventilating before I ever touched a drink.

In desperation I turned to alcohol, which SEEMED to help. But not for long. And then you need more.

After a certain point your anxiety comes back with such a force its just unbearable.

Better to deal with it and get professional help if need be.

I was really naive about stuff like this. I just didnt know what to do.

No more for me and Im so grateful!
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Old 01-16-2020, 05:43 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Railtek View Post
Hi everyone iam stuck in abit of a rut

I've been sober since new year's.......with binge drinking inbetween.

I went :
5 days
binge
5days
Binge
Binge
4 days
Hungover today



Iam stuck in a cycle of extreme anxiety at around day 4, doom, hopelessness , no meaning to life, absolute despair etc etc etc.

After this Binge I obviously have a hangover (not a bad one)
But my anxiety is gone and I have a strange sense of self confidence. I believe the alcohol masks the anxiety??

Iam not justifying the drinking, but hoping someone can relate to what's going on.

Thankyou
Hi Railtek. I can relate to what's going on.

If I am understanding your timeline, today is your Day 1. Congratulations. (If I misunderstood your timeline, Congratulations.)

Congratulations to you, me, and the rest of us for being here. Here on SR, here on the sobriety journey, detours, ruts, and all.

For me, you, all of us, it has been from the beginning (is now, and ever shall be, world without end) a journey of discovery (at least I hope so).

When I've traveled (in the geographical sense), I have found that sometimes I've learned something from the unscheduled detours. May as well, since I couldn't undo whatever fortuities led to the desultory zigs and zags. Once I "discovered" a magical city in Sicily (called Noto), that wasn't on my itinerary but turned out to be one of the highlights of the trip. I maybe had vaguely heard about it before (only because I know someone in the U.S. whose ancestors hailed from there), but I didn't know anything about it.

On this sobriety journey it was a zig that led me to SR last week. Maybe I had vaguely heard about it from my general knowledge that there are a variety of options out there for folks with substance abuse disorder, but no one had ever personally told me about it. And SR is turning out to be one of the highlights of the trip.

Detours are one thing, ruts are another, while you're stuck in them. The good news about a rut is, after you free yourself from it (usually with the help of other wayfarers) it turns out to have been just another detour, after all. It is not the end of the road. And maybe you've met some new friends.

I hear ya though. they sure can jack up that anxiety level. Sometimes its a chicken and egg thing: Did the anxiety cause the detour or the detour cause the anxiety?

But all that's in the past. The question for the present (and it's always the present) is: What now?

At this moment, typing these words, I relate to your strange sense of self-confidence, too. As I read earlier here in SR: "Wow! Yay for us!"

So what now, Railtek? What now, jr67?
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Old 01-16-2020, 05:46 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I believe alcohol increases the anxiety. I still deal with the issue, but it's less than when I was drinking. I hope you can find some healthy ways to deal with your anxiety.
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I was self-medicating for anxiety for years. It only made it worse. Get sober and confront the anxiety head on. You have to treat your anxiety and sobriety at the same time. Have you considered a good inpatient recovery program. If you have the resources, I highly recommend it.
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:21 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Anxiety attacks ain't no joke. I feel for ya there.

I was hospitalized twice, once for days while they ran tests to see what was wrong.
Tunnel vision, near loss of consciousness, blood pressure WAY up there, just wanting to crawl right out of my skin and go somewhere else.

Went to my primary after 2nd time and she listened and looked at the trainee she had with her and asked what she thought.
"panic induced near symbiosis"
Which of course means I had a panic attack and almost blacked out.

I still get them some but now that I know what it is I can talk myself down. Well I don't really talk myself down I just recognize what it is and try my best to ignore it and it eventually gets tired and goes away.

Best of luck to you
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Alcohol made my anxiety and depression so, so much worse after very temporary relief. Quitting drinking and going to a doctor changed my life dramatically. Give it a shot
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Old 01-16-2020, 06:45 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I suffered from devastating anxiety during my drinking days (18 months sober now).

I was surprised how the anxiety just melted away after about a month and a half of sobriety. I've also been surprised that worry and anxiety doesn't trigger an urge to drink as I thought it would.

My urge to drink sneaks up at unexpected times, but I've so deeply come to understand that alcohol only inflames anxiety that I don't regard it as appealing when I feel worried or anxious.
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Old 01-16-2020, 07:05 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Drinking killed my acute anxiety but always made it much worse the next day which starts the "infernal merry go round".
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