Cityboy

Congrats on 28 Maggiemay.

DaisyBelle7

MaggieMay74, congratulations on day 28!

It sounds like there are some colds/flu going around. I hope you all feel better.

I joined an online AA group this week. The format took a little getting used to, but everyone has been very welcoming (much like this group). I figure extra support isn’t a bad thing. Social anxiety is one of the primary things that drove me to drink, so I’m not quite read for f2f meetings, but might be one day.

I hope you all have a peaceful day!

venuscat

That's wonderful DB!!! s ❤️

freedomfries

Just back from a meeting with an addiction charity

They gave me a timetable and want me to fill out what I'm doing each hour for the next week. I'm going to try and have an interesting week and do lots of activities

Cityboy

I'm the same way, and I'm very glad that all of us found SR and the group here. Were it not for each and every person that contributes here I doubt very seriously that I would be anticipating a sober weekend and the possibility of rebuilding the damage.

Cityboy

I would feel sorry for the person that had to review my timetable.

DaisyBelle7

I 100% agree! I love reading about everyone’s experiences. There are so many diverse backgrounds, but I glean something from everyone. I’ve tried to quit in the past, and I realized I can’t be successful without the support of others.

DaisyBelle7

ditto! It would like something like, go online, then pick up book, then put down book, then turn on TV, then pause TV, then go online, then look at book, but decide to go back to TV, then remember laundry. I sometimes feel like Dory from Nemo.

venuscat

What about the middle of the night?
Had intense dream, and spoke out loud while still asleep and woke myself up. Drank water and went back to sleep.

Just kidding here.

I really like the idea of the timetable. s xx

DaisyBelle7

I agree, venuscat. The timetable is an excellent idea. I think it holds us accountable. Plus, it would nice to be able to look back over time and see how we have changed our behaviors. I can’t do much right now due to medical issues, so my timetable would be incredibly boring.

Cityboy

If at home, raid refrigerator for leftovers would be every second or third entry.

At night would be read kendall, wake up to wife taking glasses off and pulling kendall out from under my head to put on night stand.

venuscat

That's funny Cityboy. xx

jr67

jr's middle of the night entry (say 2:30 a.m.):

Woke up, rolled over, stabbed self on dog toenail, gave it up and got up and peed and reheated yesterday's leftover coffee in microwave, browsed SR website, posted, replied to someone's post, spent an hour composing a perfect post, somehow lost the post and sent a haiku version instead that probably said more, peed, browsed SR website ...

jr's middle of the day entry (it is now 12:12 p.m.) :

Browsed SR website, received wisdom from half a dozen posts and counting, peed, poured more of the coffee brewed fresh this morning of my Day 22, checked to see why dogs were so quiet for so long (that can be ominous, even though "they are so quiet when they are sleeping"), lamented loss of yet another pillow, browsed SR website, checked time, said to self and typed into message: "Ok you told jr's colleague you'd get that boring year-end tax info emailed over shortly, time to turn to business", heard little thingy dingy and looked at phone to see incoming text from said colleague saying, in essence, "Define 'shortly'," responded, returned to this timetable entry, checked time and saw that it is now 12:25 p.m. decided to hit "Submit Reply" button but remembered one more thing, as follows:

to freedomfries: Thanks, that timetable idea has legs. I have been dealing with (or failing to deal with) a problem with procrastination for more years than I care to count, and the timetable may be one more tool in my toolbox of ways to work on overcoming this condition. Guess what, I believe I am already taking steps to finally confront The Big P in the 22 days of my sobriety, and counting, and my 17 days or so here in SobeRlandia. What a coincidence! (that is to say, NOT a coincidence.)

Also, congratulations, it sounds like you have the elements of a support system: The services of an addiction charity, a job-application course (was it informative?), a gym, a meditation practice, a counselor to look forward to as the wait time goes down. Let's see, did I miss anything? Of course SR, and most important: freedomfries's commitment.

It's been nice having a couple of reflective chats with you in the wee hours, too.

While I am saying all this, I am also recalling Derringer's thread called "Moving the Boulder," where he reminds us, among other things, that in the early stages of recovery our primary focus and goal is to do what it takes to maintain that sobriety in the immediate term. Addressing any other personal issues can wait. That message resonates with me, which is why I have been spending many many hours since I found and joined SR on my Day 5 exploring the site, reflecting on the issues raised by others, and identifying and exploring issues too long repressed deep in my heart of hearts, my solar plexus, my cerebrum, cerebellum, my lizardy amygdala.

I'm walking a tightrope here (lucky my balance is not impaired by intoxicating substances). For me, for jr, I am learning from SR that I need to allow myself the time I need to do the work of self-exploration and, to some degree, self-expression, like some of my pithy posts (haiku anyone?), and the rambling ones (journaling for the world to see, or at least the demimonde I have dubbed SobeRlandia). And don't even get me started on knots.

But like most of the denizens of this demimonde, I need to attend to my worky work too.

Where the tightrope act gets potentially wobbly for me -- the *really* tricky part -- is when I need to focus, focus, focus on the oh-so delicate art of balancing a three-legged stool atop that figurative filament stretched taut between two stanchions under the center ring of the bigtop that is the jr67 circus.

Pop quiz, including both the Q and the A:

Q. Identify the three legs of the three-legged stool jr is balancing on above the tightrope and under the bigtop.

A. (1) the necessary attention jr must pay to developing tactics and strategies for maintaining sobriety,

(2) jr's curious exploration, with a newfound clearheadedness, of the long-buried roots of his longstanding depressive and anxious tendencies, and

(3) performing the worky work that keeps the canines in dogfood and jr a step ahead of the bill collector.

And now, jr is
to be crowned. Delusions of
grandeur? No, dentist.

Willow00

Just a super quick check in, gotta get ready and go to work
I’ll catch up properly later
Willow xxx

Cityboy

Have a great day.

I'm about to head home and beat down the notion of grabbing a 12 pack again.

MrWolfie68

How is everyone doing today? I hope this post finds you well.

Geenie, I know what what you mean about mindfulness, etc. I am very much a work in progress with such approaches. Ironically, I find it most difficult when it is probably most needed...those bad days when negative thoughts abound. It can take quite the effort to ferret out what is causing those feelings sometimes.

DLB...I like your approach of changing things one good decision at a time. Makes a good deal of sense.

venuscat

I hope you come back online and tell us that you told the AV to take the idea of the 12 pack and go jump..... s xx

fishkiller

You can do it. No problem.

I just spent the last 4 hours with my neighbor working on my shed. He was drinking the whole time. Offered me a beer twice.

I had no desire to accept the offer.

Not to say I didn't think about, I'd be lying if I said I didn't but it was more out of habit than actually wanting a beer.

Cityboy

Well, told AV to do something a little more involved than jump. I suppose that the urge will be there a long time but at least broke the cycle of the automatic 12 pack on way home from outside work.

Hate to say that I have a good friend that quit drinking several years ago and I have offered him beer before and wasn't bashful about drinking in front of him. I really had no idea how inconsiderate it was, and it's such a deeply engrained response to offer a beer.

Dee74

I'm glad you reconsidered cityboy.
Noone ever woke up regretting they didn't drink last night

D