Al34

Surrendered19

1 - you won't need to unwind anymore because you will not be wound up from being hungover, anxious, sick, tired, etc. At the end of the day you will have a calm head and you will be thinking clearly. I have an extremely stressful job but sober I am able to do battle at work here but then that's where it stays. I didn't think that was possible.

2 - You'll stop thinking about drinking as a reward with some sober muscles and time. In fact you'll think of it as a punishment, which is surely is. Poison. If booze were invented today no government agency on the planet would approve it for human consumption.

Abraham

You will be alot happier at all times. I find just some time relaxing is enough to unwind and I guess I never thought about rewarding my self for whatever reason. No need for a reward in my opinion or at least I never thought about it that way before. Lots of things like a good desert, dinner, movie, hobby investment. Lots of things make you happy other than booze. Once you quit for a few you will realize its the booze asking those questions. Its the booze that makes it seem like its hard or impossible to quit. Once you actually quit you will laugh and wonder why you ever had any doubts. Best of luck to you. Quitting is WAY worth it.

kinzoku

What activities do you enjoy in life or do you WISH to enjoy? Those are the things you can use to celebrate.

anxiousrock

nez

I used to hate my existence. I didn't want to drink, but I drank anyway.I was stuck in a place where I couldn't imagine life with alcohol, but I couldn't imagine life without alcohol either.

How could I unwind without alcohol to do it for me? I came to realize that if alcohol was truly helping me to unwind, then why did I feel even more tightly wound and tense due to my drinking.

How could I reward myself if drinking was no longer the reward? I came to realize that it alcohol was truly a reward, then why did I feel even more miserable and despondent due to my drinking. If that was a reward, I couldn't even begin to fathom what a punishment would be.

Things began to change for me when I changed the way I thought of alcohol. Things can change for you as well!

Dee74

Hi Al

I unwind in a number of ways - exercise is one, watching old movies or tv shows I like, reading, hobbies, playing music.

You can reward yourself with gifts saved from the money not spent on booze for a start - open a new savings account and put the money in every time you'd usually spend money on drinking - it'll grow quite fast.

After a whole not drinking became its own reward - my life got alt better and a lot less complicated.

I needed help to stop drinking tho - do you think you might as well?

D

mariposa

Delilah1

Hi AI,

I’m glad you came here and posted! That’s a great step.

I found that my anxious and worried feelings were much less when I stopped drinking. I also found it was important to work on eliminating negative self talk. I have always been very hard on myself, and the things I would say to myself I would never say to anyone else. I decided to talk to myself, and encourage myself the same way I would a friend or one of my kids, that was one shift that helped create a positive mindset.

I go for a walk every day to help me unwind. I like to walk outdoors, the combination of nature and exercise really helps me. I have also worked on mindfulness techniques (breathing, yoga, guided meditations) there are many apps or you tube videos available if you are interested in checking them out. It helps to remain focused on the present, it’s the only thing you have control over.

Another thing that I find really helpful is approaching life through a lens of gratitude. No matter how bad the day was there is always something to be grateful for. If you are sober today, that can be the number one thing on your list.

What do you enjoy doing? Make a list of all the things you enjoy and weave them into your day a little at a time. Some of the things I enjoy are:
-Time with my kids
-Walking
-Reading
-Netflix

You can do this, make today your Day One.

brighterday1234

There is a solution to alcoholism and there’s a much more enriching, exciting and contented life awaiting if you want it 🙏

Callas

I do not think it is about unwinding or reward. It is about wanting to not drink no matter what. If you want to do anything you will do it. Without drinking.

Anna

1. Music and books are my 'go-to' ways to unwind, and of course, exercise helps.

2. I often go to a neighborhood coffee shop for a treat in the afternoon. And, my main reward is feeling good about myself.

Wastinglife

My mother used the 'unwind' from stress excuse in order to justify drinking every day for 30 years. She spent the majority of her career working part-time as a GP. 20 hours a week helping people with their health. How exactly is that so stressful that you need to slug down a vodka and diet coke right in the door? My father did all the 'heavy-lifting' and worked upwards of 60 hours a week.

I relate my experience because 'unwinding' is really what an alcoholic uses to explain how their drinking had been earned in some way.

DriGuy

These are simple but important questions, I think.

1. I drank every night, and it always about "unwinding." I could feel the relaxation starting as I was pouring the first drink. It sounds so harmless, right? But the drinking continued into the night, and took on a quality, not of relaxing, but of needing another drink, and another, and a feeling of just feeding an obsession without regard for anything else. It was a Hellish sort of freedom to drink without caring or thinking. I knew what I was doing, but didn't care.

2. Big occasions were one of my biggest red herrings. How do you join in a festive occasion without drinking? The idea that you need to drink to join in is simply incorrect.

The reason for both of these behaviors is addiction. We know better, so we concoct false reasons for drinking such as unwinding or celebrating. OK, they actually sound legitimate, but the real cause is that you are addicted and if you can't get your fix, you are going to be jumpy, crabby, antsy, and unfulfilled.

It's going to take a few days of fighting cravings without drinking, and then occasional days of fighting as the addiction loses it's grip. After that, you have to remember that even though you feel great, healthy and recovered, one drink starts the whole thing over. You can never drink again. It's not as bad as it sounds. It's actually wonderfully empowering to be able to live without alcohol.

D122y

I had to quit because I was developing nervous system issues that were going to ruin me if didn't.

For this reason, and 100 others, I must never drink again.

My brain adjusted to not drinking after work.

I knew booze was causing mental illness, brain damage, and I needed to stop. I still crave after work because I drank after work for decades.

Now I eat after work usually. It is either a late lunch or full dinner.

This makes the crave go now.

For the first 2 years or so clean, I tried everything. It all sort of worked. Candy, movies, teas, exercise, AA meetings etc.

Anything to re wire my brain. I suffered hell on earth often. It was horrible. I knew a drink would quell the mental anguish, but it would also reset the healing clock.

If I kept relapsing, eventually the healing stops. I would stay crazy. Don't need that.

I did heavy exercise for the first year of my recovery in the form of grappling training. That helped too.

Now I get excited about doing fun events just because they are fun. Booze would make them less fun.

Having to go to the bathroom in the middle of a concert or show is no fun.

Shows and dinners etc. cause natural dopamine release. There is no need for booze. The booze altered that.

Sr taught me all of this. It is the science of addiction.

Suffering and time were how I climbed out of my deep addiction. Never going back there.

Thanks.

Dee74

Hows it going Al

D

PhoenixJ

Booze has a short term fix effect. BUT- long term it causes depressive feelings. Recovery is hard work, but is so much better than living in the hell I was in drinking. Posting here helps me- I joined lots of common threads, as do meetings, my GP for depression, walking and journal writing.
Support to you.

SoberCAH

Glad you're here with us, AI.

When I was in the late stages of drinking, I wasn't exactly brimming with gratitude either.

I don't remember whether I exactly hated my life, but there was certainly a lot to not like.

Getting sober is about getting better - not worse.

That doesn't mean that very challenging circumstances will cease to cross our paths, but we will certainly know how to handle them better.

I no longer have to worry about winding down when I get home from work.

I don't need to mentally check out.

I also don't need to get drunk or high to reward myself. Counting my blessings is plenty enough.

Getting out of my mind on alcohol and/or drugs is no longer an option for anything that i encounter.

I have a great life. It just no longer includes getting drunk and acting foolishly.

I'm plenty good with reality.

Please stick around with us and stop drinking, amigo.

Good things won't happen until you do.

Steely

I'm only early in sobriety Al34 and pretty much hate my life too. The only thing I don't hate is the fact I'm not drinking.

I figure that in not drinking, I will no longer hate my life.

Seems to be working.

Delilah1

How are you doing AI?