New to the site but not recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1
New to the site but not recovery.
Today I will be going to my first meeting in a while. I have lied to myself saying that I was in control of it. I miss the old me and I am eager to get back on track. I stayed sober for years and how I got to where I am today is a slow blur. I look forward to leaning heavily on the forums as I know this place is a good avenue for support and advice.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
They tell me addiction is for life.
Sr educated, I know a relapse of any kind will cause intense craving and sadness.
Folks regret relapse after decades of sobriety.
Moderation is a lie for me. There is 4 to 6 usually, then 20 or 30 once a week or so.
Nightmare.
How long were you clean and then relapsed.
Thanks.
Sr educated, I know a relapse of any kind will cause intense craving and sadness.
Folks regret relapse after decades of sobriety.
Moderation is a lie for me. There is 4 to 6 usually, then 20 or 30 once a week or so.
Nightmare.
How long were you clean and then relapsed.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by Bluefrog 
I stayed sober for years and how I got to where I am today is a slow blur... I have lied to myself saying that I was in control of it.
I believe recovery is a poor word to use for what we do to beat our problem. Recovery means you are getting better. Alcoholics don't get better, ever. There is no cure for what we are.
I try to avoid semantics, and this sounds like I'm making a semantic claim, but I don't think it is: You may or may not recover in gaining some skills in personal growth when you stay off the sauce, but that is not recovery from alcoholism. You don't recover from alcoholism. You can still beat your problem, but you can't recover.
Alcoholics often make the claim that personal growth, changing your life, and finding better approaches to your problems makes you stay sober. That is ass backwards from my experience. It is recovery in improving your life skills, but its not recovery from alcoholism. Not drinking isn't recovery either, but it IS how you stay sober.
No matter how good your life gets when you don't drink, and it's amazing how good it can get, it is not recovery anymore than "putting the plug in the jug," which is a phrase that many alcoholics scoff at as if it's not really recovery. They're right because there is no recovery. But it's definitely nothing to scoff at; It's the most important step in beating alcoholism. The second most important step is keeping the plug in there.
Only then can you go on to improve your life skills. If you don't want to do that, it's your choice, but I don't recommend neglecting that part of your life now that you have a shot at it. While I don't call that recovery, it includes one really important tool, self honesty, that will help you from getting too big for your britches and thinking you might be able to drink responsibility.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Your not the first alcoholic to get drunk again after a while sober and you won't be the last.
You know what to do by the sound of it and you learnt a lesson.
The allergy to alcohol is for life. Recommence drinking, it's just lying in wait and we are back up to our eyeballs in booze in no time.
What can be fended off, is the obsession.
That's what needs daily work.
Think of it like building muscle at the gym, if you don't go for a long period, pretty much back to square one.
Same thing with staying sober
You know what to do by the sound of it and you learnt a lesson.
The allergy to alcohol is for life. Recommence drinking, it's just lying in wait and we are back up to our eyeballs in booze in no time.
What can be fended off, is the obsession.
That's what needs daily work.
Think of it like building muscle at the gym, if you don't go for a long period, pretty much back to square one.
Same thing with staying sober
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by DriGuy
I think relapse after a long term of sobriety often happens when you confuse "I'm getting better and feeling better" with "recovery from alcoholism."
I believe recovery is a poor word to use for what we do to beat our problem. Recovery means you are getting better. Alcoholics don't get better, ever. There is no cure for what we are.
I try to avoid semantics, and this sounds like I'm making a semantic claim, but I don't think it is: You may or may not recover in gaining some skills in personal growth when you stay off the sauce, but that is not recovery from alcoholism. You don't recover from alcoholism. You can still beat your problem, but you can't recover.
Alcoholics often make the claim that personal growth, changing your life, and finding better approaches to your problems makes you stay sober. That is ass backwards from my experience. It is recovery in improving your life skills, but its not recovery from alcoholism. Not drinking isn't recovery either, but it IS how you stay sober.
No matter how good your life gets when you don't drink, and it's amazing how good it can get, it is not recovery anymore than "putting the plug in the jug," which is a phrase that many alcoholics scoff at as if it's not really recovery. They're right because there is no recovery. But it's definitely nothing to scoff at; It's the most important step in beating alcoholism. The second most important step is keeping the plug in there.
Only then can you go on to improve your life skills. If you don't want to do that, it's your choice, but I don't recommend neglecting that part of your life now that you have a shot at it. While I don't call that recovery, it includes one really important tool, self honesty, that will help you from getting too big for your britches and thinking you might be able to drink responsibility.
I believe recovery is a poor word to use for what we do to beat our problem. Recovery means you are getting better. Alcoholics don't get better, ever. There is no cure for what we are.
I try to avoid semantics, and this sounds like I'm making a semantic claim, but I don't think it is: You may or may not recover in gaining some skills in personal growth when you stay off the sauce, but that is not recovery from alcoholism. You don't recover from alcoholism. You can still beat your problem, but you can't recover.
Alcoholics often make the claim that personal growth, changing your life, and finding better approaches to your problems makes you stay sober. That is ass backwards from my experience. It is recovery in improving your life skills, but its not recovery from alcoholism. Not drinking isn't recovery either, but it IS how you stay sober.
No matter how good your life gets when you don't drink, and it's amazing how good it can get, it is not recovery anymore than "putting the plug in the jug," which is a phrase that many alcoholics scoff at as if it's not really recovery. They're right because there is no recovery. But it's definitely nothing to scoff at; It's the most important step in beating alcoholism. The second most important step is keeping the plug in there.
Only then can you go on to improve your life skills. If you don't want to do that, it's your choice, but I don't recommend neglecting that part of your life now that you have a shot at it. While I don't call that recovery, it includes one really important tool, self honesty, that will help you from getting too big for your britches and thinking you might be able to drink responsibility.
Please sum up your sober key in 10 words or less.
Sincerely.
Thanks.
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