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Old 01-12-2020, 03:08 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Just going to add this ramblings before I check out for the day.

My wife doesn't drink too much alcohol and I think I made her like it a lot less than she previously did. But she's an avid tea drinker and she has her tea in the evening. Last couple of days I've started joining her at tea time. I really don't like tea that much, but it's something to do instead of beer and it gives us some together time that I had been spending drinking beer either alone or with friends, mostly alone because all my friends sort of disappeared, maybe because I wanted them to, they were probably cutting into my drinking time.

Last edited by LastInLine; 01-12-2020 at 03:12 PM. Reason: forgot something...
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Old 01-12-2020, 03:36 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Ask a few of your friends if you trust them. Perhaps you were a bit of a sloppy dink when you were drunk? I certainly know I was. At Day 53 my friends are starting to come back around. I punished them for years with chaos and unpredictability.
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Old 01-12-2020, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Surrendered19 View Post
Ask a few of your friends if you trust them. Perhaps you were a bit of a sloppy dink when you were drunk? I certainly know I was. At Day 53 my friends are starting to come back around. I punished them for years with chaos and unpredictability.
"Perhaps you were a bit of a sloppy dink when you were drunk? "

Nah, not really. If I were to describe myself, my own 'drunk' style, I'll just use my wife's description. Silly. That's what she calls me when I drink. Sarcastic, cynical, and always using that to be a clown. Just me in super exaggerated mode.

The thing is, is that, and maybe I'm not alone here in this, but I probably drank a lot more than any of my friends. I'll just be honest here, finally, that most people probably do not drink 8-10 beers or more on regular occasions in one sitting. But I did that EVERY day, unless I drank more, like on weekends and holidays. So I have to say that my friends were interrupting my drinking time. I mean, I couldn't not leave the pub when they did, or not stop drinking wherever we were when they did, or maybe they would think I drink too much. Because drinking was way more important to me than friends if it meant I had to stop drinking. So I don't have many friends anymore. It's a miracle I even have a wife and I don't even talk too much with anyone in my family.

I'd like to fix all that, I guess we'll see.
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Old 01-12-2020, 07:18 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Great job on 7 days of freedom from alcohol! My witching hours were the same as yours. Is it possible to find an AA or other recovery meeting near you that meets during that time? I am grateful that the recovery club I go to has a meeting every day that starts between 5 and 6 PM, and I have found it incredibly beneficial to go as many days a week as needed.
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Old 01-12-2020, 07:42 PM
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there are some very nice herbal teas out there these days. especially great in the evening, i find. rooibos chai with a bit of cream hits the spot for me.
or just hot water with lemon sometimes.
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Old 01-12-2020, 08:11 PM
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Isolating with our drug of choice, here it’s alcohol, is so very common. In my case it was my wine in my LUCY Kitchen watching TV. One of the reasons I thought I wasn’t “hurting anyone”. My hubby & son were off doing their life and I wasn’t out driving my car. Just safe & blackout drunk each night ....

P.S. My drinking time began with dinner, then cooking dinner, I ended up beginning at 3:00pm. I’m convinced, given more time, I would have progressed and began morning drinking.
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Old 01-13-2020, 05:55 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BarbieKen View Post
Isolating with our drug of choice, here it’s alcohol, is so very common. In my case it was my wine in my LUCY Kitchen watching TV. One of the reasons I thought I wasn’t “hurting anyone”. My hubby & son were off doing their life and I wasn’t out driving my car. Just safe & blackout drunk each night ....

P.S. My drinking time began with dinner, then cooking dinner, I ended up beginning at 3:00pm. I’m convinced, given more time, I would have progressed and began morning drinking.
I found myself starting at noon on weekends the past few months especially. We literally stopped going anywhere, because I was already too drunk to drive by 12:30pm. My wife was getting so upset by that, along with everything else about my drinking. I literally just removed everything from my life except working and drinking. As soon as I would get off work, I would have a beer in hand as soon as getting in the door. Or if working from home, I'd walk straight to the fridge and grab a beer as soon as logging out from my PC.

It's very sad what we can do with alcohol, it really is. I was just like you also, in that I thought I wasn't hurting anyone else, but I was and I know it. I don't know how my wife stayed with me, I really don't, she has the patience of a saint.
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Old 01-13-2020, 06:01 PM
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Hello everyone, checking in for the day. I made it through day 8 pretty easily. My stomach is all messed up today. No idea that is up with that, I typically don't get that even with all the alcohol. I think I'm still experiencing the evening blues or blahs, but I'm just doing a good job of ignoring it.

Sat down with my wife at the kitchen table tonight for the first time in as long as I can remember. She just couldn't get me to do it, I was too busy drinking to waste my time with such things. It was nice and we talked a lot.

I'm so tired, just exhausted, although I'm sleeping more than I have in a long time, I just feel exhausted and like all I want to do is sleep. I know if I didn't have to get up in the morning at 8am to go see clients, I'd sleep until noon again like I did Sunday.
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Old 01-13-2020, 06:09 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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You have concluded that you know why your friends aren't around anymore without giving them the benefit of asking them. Just ask them. It wasn't all up to you I think.
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Old 01-13-2020, 06:23 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Surrendered19 View Post
You have concluded that you know why your friends aren't around anymore without giving them the benefit of asking them. Just ask them. It wasn't all up to you I think.
They're sort of still around, it's just that we don't do things together anymore because they probably sensed that I wanted to be left alone, for whatever reason. I talked to one of them today and asked him to meet me for lunch, but he was too busy, but we'll probably do lunch tomorrow.

I told my wife I want to reconnect with friends and family now, but especially with her, because she's the one who really got the worst of my drinking because we don't have children at home, so most evenings it was just her, me, and my beer, so really just her by herself and me alone with my beer. This is the thing that bothers me most about all that time drinking and what prompted me to do decide to quit, although my marriage was far from the only thing suffering, every aspect of my life was falling apart.

So it's not that I think it's all about me, but I know that the reason no one came around me anymore is because I became very reclusive and unsociable. My wife even told me this on many occasions. I'm just going to make an effort to reconnect, no questions asked.
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Old 01-13-2020, 06:26 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Ask them. Only if you want to learn from them.
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Old 01-15-2020, 04:52 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Hello, Everyone. Checking in for day 11. Yesterday and today have been really pretty easy. That nausea and down mood feeling, anxiety, nervousness I have been feeling on days 4- and later, have subsided a lot the last 2 days. My trouble, withdrawals, whatever you call them seemed to have started on day 4 and peaked on days 7-8 and then it seems to be gradually diminishing.

I mean it's still there, but it's really mild now. It's like I know it's there, I can sense it and feel it, but it's mild enough I can just keep myself busy and ignore it.

Maybe I'm really lucky. But I can just say for anyone wanting to quit, and if it really hits you hard, like it did me, I think it was day 7 when I thought the world was ending, just trudge though that and it should get better soon.

I didn't go it alone, I found this place and my wife was super supportive. I was actually hesitant to even approach her and tell her the mental and emotional state of hell I was currently residing in, but she was right there for me. I was thinking 'man, she is so done with you', but... apparently not yet. She seems a little aloof, but who could blame her? We've been married 9 years and she's barely if ever seen me sober for a day outside of the first year or so we started dating.

Anyway, thanks everyone for the support. I don't have any idea what is in store for me, but I do know that I'm am really looking forward to actually accomplishing something beyond going to work and getting drunk until I pass out afterwards.

Looking forward to actually making some plans and accomplishing some of them. I mean, I actually had plans, lot's of them. It went sort of like this. I woke up in the morning, typically feeling like **** or at least not feeling great, going to work, getting home and drinking. During my drinking I had lots of plans. The problem is, the plans would change the very next morning from whatever it was to make it through the work day and get home to drink. The plans I had made the night before would have to wait until tomorrow. And tomorrow never came. I bet some of you can relate to this? Anyway, I try to not dwell on this, how I wasted 12 years of my life and my wife's life. It's just just too damn depressing, so I don't dwell on it and instead plan to make up for lost time.

Night, everyone.
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