Christmas day last time I used ice
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Christmas day last time I used ice
Hi everyone thanks for reading Christmas day last time I used ice aka crystal meth just a question why is it harder now Ive moved to a remote town Can't find work it's driving me crazy I'm having nightmares and also dreaming about ice constantly I have no intention of using again my daughter is my main ambitioun I'm just struggling ATM my legs are starting to get restless at night I've tried alcohol but turns out I don't even like drinking anymore had anyone got any idea for me to use to help me get through I know I'm lucky to be alive as Christmas day I was living on streets homeless even climbed a cliff at 3am in the morning didn't care what happened to me but now I want to live just need some pointers
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Hi Clix
I've never done ice but I imagine it's like any addiction - the early days are rough and you might find yourself obsessing about the drug for a while.
Thats why support really helps - you're making a great choice not to use again, you're not alone and we'll be around to help in the lonely hours especially
D
I've never done ice but I imagine it's like any addiction - the early days are rough and you might find yourself obsessing about the drug for a while.
Thats why support really helps - you're making a great choice not to use again, you're not alone and we'll be around to help in the lonely hours especially
D
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 546
Hello Clix. Been there with ice, though in my case I was lucky enough it turned out to be a dalliance rather than a full-blown affair. Alcohol remained my substance of "choice," not for any heroic reason but mostly because I was so paranoid about the strict U.S. drug laws and disgusted by the resulting murderousness of the drug cartels in Mexico.
Congratulations on more than 2 weeks clean. My last meth use was in July or August. In November, I think it was, I deleted my supplier's contact info to make it harder for me to make an impulse buy. (And I intentionally broke my pipe to add a little more friction in case I had an inclination to pick it up.) (I'm on Day 9 without alcohol.)
Yeah, for most of us it gets harder at times, then easier, then harder and easier again. I had my first-ever meth-using dream earlier this week, and a drinking dream a day or two later. They had violent elements, and were disturbing, but I think the fact that I'm remembering my dreams is a good sign, because substance abuse interferes with healthy sleeping and dreaming patterns, so maybe I'm heading back towards normal after umpteen years where *my* normal was not very healthy.
Take it one breath, one minute, one day at a time, Clix (and me). I thought I had said goodbye to meth last summer, then in October I went and bought a burner cell phone and was planning to use it to get back in touch with my ice supplier in a more "anonymous" way. Luckily I had trouble activating the phone that evening, then slept on the idea for a bit and eventually threw out the phone (along with the smashed pipe) before I ever used it.
Ideas? Time must be heavy on your hands while you're looking for work. Don't get discouraged. Keep busy with healthy stuff. Walking and exercise, eating well. I'm into mindfulness meditation, you might want to check it out. You recently moved to a remote town; do you have any friends, family, support system where you are now? Health providers? Maybe folks (preferably non-users?) who know the decision you've made to quit? If not, is that something you can work on?
Like Dee said, coming on here is definitely a step. I just happened upon this site a few days ago and I am finding it very helpful to read through others' stories and many helpful perspectives and suggestions.
Each of us is coming from a different place and has to figure out our own way forward, but I am finding we don't have to do it alone.
Please check back in.
Congratulations on more than 2 weeks clean. My last meth use was in July or August. In November, I think it was, I deleted my supplier's contact info to make it harder for me to make an impulse buy. (And I intentionally broke my pipe to add a little more friction in case I had an inclination to pick it up.) (I'm on Day 9 without alcohol.)
Yeah, for most of us it gets harder at times, then easier, then harder and easier again. I had my first-ever meth-using dream earlier this week, and a drinking dream a day or two later. They had violent elements, and were disturbing, but I think the fact that I'm remembering my dreams is a good sign, because substance abuse interferes with healthy sleeping and dreaming patterns, so maybe I'm heading back towards normal after umpteen years where *my* normal was not very healthy.
Take it one breath, one minute, one day at a time, Clix (and me). I thought I had said goodbye to meth last summer, then in October I went and bought a burner cell phone and was planning to use it to get back in touch with my ice supplier in a more "anonymous" way. Luckily I had trouble activating the phone that evening, then slept on the idea for a bit and eventually threw out the phone (along with the smashed pipe) before I ever used it.
Ideas? Time must be heavy on your hands while you're looking for work. Don't get discouraged. Keep busy with healthy stuff. Walking and exercise, eating well. I'm into mindfulness meditation, you might want to check it out. You recently moved to a remote town; do you have any friends, family, support system where you are now? Health providers? Maybe folks (preferably non-users?) who know the decision you've made to quit? If not, is that something you can work on?
Like Dee said, coming on here is definitely a step. I just happened upon this site a few days ago and I am finding it very helpful to read through others' stories and many helpful perspectives and suggestions.
Each of us is coming from a different place and has to figure out our own way forward, but I am finding we don't have to do it alone.
Please check back in.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
jr67 has some good advice. Keep your daughter in mind as you go through this. Withdrawing can be a nightmare, but it does get better with time. Live life one day at a time or one hour at a time if you need to. You are in a really stressful situation having to look for work. Exercise is good, as mentioned above. Sometimes that is simply taking a walk. Posting on here has a psychological effect that will help you stay stopped.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Nice work on a good stretch of clean days Clix. Over two weeks is awesome. Stay really busy and have some tasks and activities in mind for when the cravings come. My daily craving window is shrinking rapidly and is nearly gone here in Day 51, but it still comes. When I had daily cravings of 3 or 4 hours when "happy hour" approached, I had a written agenda for that time for myself. I kept busy beginning to end. I hope you have some good support Clix. Keep telling us what is going on Clix. You got this.
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