soberFitness

Derringer

If you are having trouble with step 2, it's a perfectly viable option to believe in the people who have been before you and stayed sober.

So the "power greater than ourselves" becomes a faith that you can see it is working in other people, so it will work for you as well and a faith that by taking the other steps, you can achieve permanent and happy sobriety.

Faith in an actual HP may come later, it usually does, but not always.

Either way, you can't know if you don't try and stayed blocked.

Jump the hurdles.

I bet you jumped plenty to maintain your drinking up until recently. I know I did.
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cantsleep123

​​​​​​​This. The Higher Power can be AA to you. G.O.D. (group of drunks).

Callas

In my view, the only thing that will help me stay sober is me. I did not need an outside power or source to drink. I did that. So it is I that stopped that.

soberFitness

littlesister1

I understand COMPLETELY!
I do not believe in a higher power such as gawd or Jebus.
Just doesn't make sense to me.
Now the Universe I can believe in.

And ultimately you are correct, it's on ME to take care of this.

If you need religion or a HP, great for you. Just don't expect that everyone will buy into it

nez

By letting go to the underlying order of the universe, you will be contributing to cohesiveness and harmony. By not letting go, you will be creating a disturbance or impediment to the underlying order.

Dee74

Thank goodness we all want the same thing

There are a good number of secular approaches to recovery too - SMART lifering, Rational Recovery.

There's a lid for every pot as my Nan used to say.

D

Tetrax

Hey I'm on a similar track myself: the 'Let go and let God' stuff at meetings I can kind of understand, even from an atheist/Taoist perspective, actually even now possibly Steps 2 and 3. Steps 6 and 7 are trickier to think about for me.

RecklessDrunk

The way I see it, it took a miracle for us to get this far. For the stars, the planets, the sun and all to line up just perfectly. Our birth alone is a miracle.

I was born in America in the 1970s. I have so much stuff that I can quickly forget about that primitive man did not have. All day I knew I was going to get my dinner at the grocery store. I didn't have to worry about hunting down some wild animal, hoping there would even be a next meal. I'm sitting here enjoying the heater pumping out seemingly unlimited hot air on a January night. Not bad compared to most humans throughout history.

Look at all your HP has given you. For me it's about just trusting where my HP is going to take me. Living life on life's terms. Just accepting the circumstances and making the best of them. It allows me to not care anymore, just like alchohol did. The serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I think we say that so much at meetings that its starts to go in one ear and out the other. I think its absolutely huge.

Whatever this HP is, it got you this far why not just trust it? I dont mean expect your HP to just fix your life without you putting in any effort. I mean do your best at whatever you do, work, school, marriage, parenting, etc. and knowing you have given your best let the chips fall. Maybe things happen for a reason, maybe even our struggles with alchohol will eventually shape us into better people.

fini

if i see a power-greater-than-myself as an underlying universal order, then “letting go”or “turning over” is me aligning myself with that order instead of fighting it or going opposite or trying to control it.
being sober is much in the way of the “natural order”, as far as i’m concerned.
doesn’t need to be comforting to me.

nor do i believe in “meant to be”. if you were to relapse, believing you were therefore “meant to” be drinking again...well, a very convenient belief for an alcoholic to have

sugarbear1

Ask something other than you for the willingness to be willing to believe you are being cared for. Or borrow someone else's higher power.

We create the lives we live.

soberFitness

nez

Nothing wrong with that. My thoughts and beliefs on a higher power are changing and evolving as I change and evolve.

lessgravity

I can't speak to the HP question or AA but I have real experience with self-trust. I can really relate to that feeling you have, fear of your self, bc of what that self has already done, the lack of self-trust - more me this was a fear that I think I used to keep drinking. I was scared of making a mistake in the future - why not just drink now!

But I can also say that self-trust develops and grows. It's an exciting and life-affirming experience. It takes work and time. You have to keep making the decision not to drink, over and over. But the self-trust grows, evolves and with it come feelings of peace, confidence and worth that, for me at least, I don't remember ever having before.

Good luck, keep moving forward. There's a better life waiting.

Obladi

I have a similar view of the higher power, I think. It's so vast that, to me, it was ludicrous to think of forming a personal relationship with. It was a Major stumbling block. And though I tried, I couldn't "dumb it down" to a doorknob or a group of drunks or anything so small as that.

What I found enormously helpful when I really needed a higher power to be with me personally was when someone suggested that I imagine what that higher power would ideally look and feel like to me at that moment. What I needed right that moment was the embrace of a unconditionally loving parent. And when I went to be on my own and pray for that, that's exactly what I felt.

Haven't felt it since in that same way, but that's ok. Now I notice it (It?) in ways I always did before, but not. I mean more so. Bigger. In a sort of blissed out kind of way. It's pretty great - I highly recommend getting yourself a HP pal.

O

least

Made me think of this quote:

Nonsensical

THIS!


Q: How do you get better at running?
A: Run.

Q: How do you get better at crossword puzzles?
A: Crossword puzzles.

Q: How do you get better at anything?
A: Practice doing it.

Go get better at being sober and trusting yourself.

abgator

I'll take a different approach, as I too have struggled with this.

Check out the book, "The Alternative 12 Steps: A Secular Guide to Recovery".

The 12 steps are essentially the same, but reworded and never once mention any kind of Higher Power. I found it to be useful and an interesting read. Maybe you'll view the 12 steps with a more open mind reading it in this fashion instead of the AA way.

DriGuy

Sobriety is our responsibility. Even if you believe in higher powers, you must take responsibility. Turning things over to a higher power sometimes works well. Sometimes things don't work out well, higher power or not. There is a certain quality of randomness in whether things come our way or not. I believe the best way to control some of this randomness is to make good decisions. It's not perfect, but I think it's our best shot.