Day 25
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Day 25
Things have been challenging over the past day or two. I had a hard time with work. Also a bad argument with someone.
Thankfully I've stayed sober. In the past I would have went straight for a drink. I'm looking for a new job. I think a change would be good. Also thinking about getting some therapy. And of course, going to AA meetings.
Thankfully I've stayed sober. In the past I would have went straight for a drink. I'm looking for a new job. I think a change would be good. Also thinking about getting some therapy. And of course, going to AA meetings.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
Good to read that you are staying responsible
for your own recovery even if life throws you
or us curve balls.
Arguments are gonna happen from time to
time and they may ruffle our feathers or
send us into a whirled wind of emotions.
Learning how to avoid them or lessen them
will benefit you/us in the long run. We never know
when, where or how they may happen, and
it will be up to us with the knowledge we have
stored inside us to know how to handle them
without turning to alcohol and returning us to our
addiction that will only make things worse.
I often heard that life in recovery will be
worse before it gets better. Worse because
we are in the learning stages of early recovery.
Learning healthier ways to deal with life
on lifes terms.
Somethings in life we are just meant to accept
as they are. Other things, it will be up to us
to change them.
When I entered recovery yrs ago, I emmediately
learned several prayers, memorizing them so I
can say them when and where ever I needed them.
With these prayers, they helped me calm down,
regain focus and reach for my recovery lifelines
for help instead of running to alcohol that would
only make the problem or issue worse.
The Serenity Prayer is one I continue to use today
and was said a many a times over the past 29 yrs of
my sobriety.
Coming here to SR to share with what going on with
you and asking for help in situations needing help
on instead of reach for alcohol shows your determination
of wanting to learn how to solve it without poison.
If not here, maybe a meeting or if you've got a
theraphists, anyone who you feel comfortable
sharing with to lighten the burden off your shoulders
and learn how to fix it and avoid the next episode.
Then to intuitive know what to do next time it should
happen. You will be armed with good effective knowledge
you are learning in recovery to make you stronger
in handling it.
Stay strong. Stay sober no matter what and always
use the tools and knowledge you are learning along
the way to handle situations that would normally
baffle us.
for your own recovery even if life throws you
or us curve balls.
Arguments are gonna happen from time to
time and they may ruffle our feathers or
send us into a whirled wind of emotions.
Learning how to avoid them or lessen them
will benefit you/us in the long run. We never know
when, where or how they may happen, and
it will be up to us with the knowledge we have
stored inside us to know how to handle them
without turning to alcohol and returning us to our
addiction that will only make things worse.
I often heard that life in recovery will be
worse before it gets better. Worse because
we are in the learning stages of early recovery.
Learning healthier ways to deal with life
on lifes terms.
Somethings in life we are just meant to accept
as they are. Other things, it will be up to us
to change them.
When I entered recovery yrs ago, I emmediately
learned several prayers, memorizing them so I
can say them when and where ever I needed them.
With these prayers, they helped me calm down,
regain focus and reach for my recovery lifelines
for help instead of running to alcohol that would
only make the problem or issue worse.
The Serenity Prayer is one I continue to use today
and was said a many a times over the past 29 yrs of
my sobriety.
Coming here to SR to share with what going on with
you and asking for help in situations needing help
on instead of reach for alcohol shows your determination
of wanting to learn how to solve it without poison.
If not here, maybe a meeting or if you've got a
theraphists, anyone who you feel comfortable
sharing with to lighten the burden off your shoulders
and learn how to fix it and avoid the next episode.
Then to intuitive know what to do next time it should
happen. You will be armed with good effective knowledge
you are learning in recovery to make you stronger
in handling it.
Stay strong. Stay sober no matter what and always
use the tools and knowledge you are learning along
the way to handle situations that would normally
baffle us.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Hi Mary
You are doing so well!
Sharon packed a lot of truth into her post. I fully and wholeheartedly endorse talking about those situations that bother you and working through them. Here, at AA, with a therapist... I have found all three to be helpful. (Plus more!) They each have their own function and limitations.
I always heard people say they were drowning their feelings in alcohol, but never really 'got' that until I started working my feelings out. I needed help from other people to do that. Was I making sense? Help me figure out why I'm so irritated. What troublesome feature in me or event from my past is this bringing up?
Working through the steps has helped me to work through these everyday situations. It's not magic, it's work for sure. But so rewarding.
So yeah, get a therapist.
Post about what's bugging you here, like maybe the job.
And yes, meetings, of course.
xo
O
You are doing so well!
Sharon packed a lot of truth into her post. I fully and wholeheartedly endorse talking about those situations that bother you and working through them. Here, at AA, with a therapist... I have found all three to be helpful. (Plus more!) They each have their own function and limitations.
I always heard people say they were drowning their feelings in alcohol, but never really 'got' that until I started working my feelings out. I needed help from other people to do that. Was I making sense? Help me figure out why I'm so irritated. What troublesome feature in me or event from my past is this bringing up?
Working through the steps has helped me to work through these everyday situations. It's not magic, it's work for sure. But so rewarding.
So yeah, get a therapist.
Post about what's bugging you here, like maybe the job.
And yes, meetings, of course.
xo
O
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Originally Posted by ShiftHappens 
Awesome steps to take Mary.
If nothing changes, nothing changes, right?
Good job on not drinking and making decisions to support your new lifestyle
If nothing changes, nothing changes, right?
Good job on not drinking and making decisions to support your new lifestyle
Thanks for the encouragement! Yes, I think it this case change is needed. Hopefully I can make better decisions when sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Originally Posted by aasharon90
Good to read that you are staying responsible
for your own recovery even if life throws you
or us curve balls.
Arguments are gonna happen from time to
time and they may ruffle our feathers or
send us into a whirled wind of emotions.
Learning how to avoid them or lessen them
will benefit you/us in the long run. We never know
when, where or how they may happen, and
it will be up to us with the knowledge we have
stored inside us to know how to handle them
without turning to alcohol and returning us to our
addiction that will only make things worse.
I often heard that life in recovery will be
worse before it gets better. Worse because
we are in the learning stages of early recovery.
Learning healthier ways to deal with life
on lifes terms.
Somethings in life we are just meant to accept
as they are. Other things, it will be up to us
to change them.
When I entered recovery yrs ago, I emmediately
learned several prayers, memorizing them so I
can say them when and where ever I needed them.
With these prayers, they helped me calm down,
regain focus and reach for my recovery lifelines
for help instead of running to alcohol that would
only make the problem or issue worse.
The Serenity Prayer is one I continue to use today
and was said a many a times over the past 29 yrs of
my sobriety.
Coming here to SR to share with what going on with
you and asking for help in situations needing help
on instead of reach for alcohol shows your determination
of wanting to learn how to solve it without poison.
If not here, maybe a meeting or if you've got a
theraphists, anyone who you feel comfortable
sharing with to lighten the burden off your shoulders
and learn how to fix it and avoid the next episode.
Then to intuitive know what to do next time it should
happen. You will be armed with good effective knowledge
you are learning in recovery to make you stronger
in handling it.
Stay strong. Stay sober no matter what and always
use the tools and knowledge you are learning along
the way to handle situations that would normally
baffle us.
for your own recovery even if life throws you
or us curve balls.
Arguments are gonna happen from time to
time and they may ruffle our feathers or
send us into a whirled wind of emotions.
Learning how to avoid them or lessen them
will benefit you/us in the long run. We never know
when, where or how they may happen, and
it will be up to us with the knowledge we have
stored inside us to know how to handle them
without turning to alcohol and returning us to our
addiction that will only make things worse.
I often heard that life in recovery will be
worse before it gets better. Worse because
we are in the learning stages of early recovery.
Learning healthier ways to deal with life
on lifes terms.
Somethings in life we are just meant to accept
as they are. Other things, it will be up to us
to change them.
When I entered recovery yrs ago, I emmediately
learned several prayers, memorizing them so I
can say them when and where ever I needed them.
With these prayers, they helped me calm down,
regain focus and reach for my recovery lifelines
for help instead of running to alcohol that would
only make the problem or issue worse.
The Serenity Prayer is one I continue to use today
and was said a many a times over the past 29 yrs of
my sobriety.
Coming here to SR to share with what going on with
you and asking for help in situations needing help
on instead of reach for alcohol shows your determination
of wanting to learn how to solve it without poison.
If not here, maybe a meeting or if you've got a
theraphists, anyone who you feel comfortable
sharing with to lighten the burden off your shoulders
and learn how to fix it and avoid the next episode.
Then to intuitive know what to do next time it should
happen. You will be armed with good effective knowledge
you are learning in recovery to make you stronger
in handling it.
Stay strong. Stay sober no matter what and always
use the tools and knowledge you are learning along
the way to handle situations that would normally
baffle us.
Thank you, Sharon. It does feel that things are slightly worse at the moment so reading what you wrote really helps. That this is other peoples' experience too and I'm not doing anything wrong. I suppose that's what happens when we start to face reality. I remember what you wrote in a previous thread about patience too.
I do pray a lot. I think it was through prayer that I found the strength to stop drinking. The Serenity prayer helps me too.
I'm determined to stay sober and build a happier life.
Thanks for the support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Originally Posted by Obladi
Hi Mary
You are doing so well!
Sharon packed a lot of truth into her post. I fully and wholeheartedly endorse talking about those situations that bother you and working through them. Here, at AA, with a therapist... I have found all three to be helpful. (Plus more!) They each have their own function and limitations.
I always heard people say they were drowning their feelings in alcohol, but never really 'got' that until I started working my feelings out. I needed help from other people to do that. Was I making sense? Help me figure out why I'm so irritated. What troublesome feature in me or event from my past is this bringing up?
Working through the steps has helped me to work through these everyday situations. It's not magic, it's work for sure. But so rewarding.
So yeah, get a therapist.
Post about what's bugging you here, like maybe the job.
And yes, meetings, of course.
xo
O
You are doing so well!
Sharon packed a lot of truth into her post. I fully and wholeheartedly endorse talking about those situations that bother you and working through them. Here, at AA, with a therapist... I have found all three to be helpful. (Plus more!) They each have their own function and limitations.
I always heard people say they were drowning their feelings in alcohol, but never really 'got' that until I started working my feelings out. I needed help from other people to do that. Was I making sense? Help me figure out why I'm so irritated. What troublesome feature in me or event from my past is this bringing up?
Working through the steps has helped me to work through these everyday situations. It's not magic, it's work for sure. But so rewarding.
So yeah, get a therapist.
Post about what's bugging you here, like maybe the job.
And yes, meetings, of course.
xo
O
Yes, I am willing to try anything that might help.
I feel like I'm being bullied in the job. There is a new manager who I feel doesn't like me. She has given me work to do that I'm not really able to, taking me off jobs I was good at, criticises me in front of others, is very cold with me while friendly with others. This probably seems minor. There is worse but this is a public forum and it might not be safe to go into more detail. I tried to talk to her but it made the situation worse. I've talked to a doctor and he suggested looking for a new job. At this stage I just want to walk out but I know this isn't a mature way to handle the situation. I was years in the job before this new manager came along and happy. But I can't see any solution to the situation except to leave.
Thanks to you all for the support. I don't know if I would have stayed sober without this forum.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
There are many who have started a new life in
recovery learning new healthier ways to remain
sober and that is just what you are doing. As you
continue to listen and talk about each situation
in life and like the one you are in right now with
your job, folks will share their own experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was like before,
during and after their addiction.
Many of us have dealt with complications that
come with a job, old and new. Dealing with co
workers, bosses and everything that goes with
it.
When we are fresh into our recovery, we are
still trying to sort out all the reasons why we
turned to alcohol or drugs or prescription meds,
anything to numb us or fuel us so we can face
our jobs on a daily bases.
I know for myself when I was working, I tried
to treat others the way I wanted to be treated
too. To be kind, caring, supportive and such.
However, before, during and after my addiction
and recovery, folks never seemed to change.
It was me going thru changes.
As you continue to pray and learn asking for
help and guidance not only from your Higher
Power but also from your support system,
things will eventually become clearer in your
heart and mind as to know what you will need
to do.
All these changes as you remain sober will be
stepping stones in helping you grow stronger
with in your self, self confidence, self awareness.
The 3rd step prayer is also one that I memorized
and still incorporate in my life on a daily bases
and in all my affairs to help me and guide me
in helping me make the right decisions.
Maybe others will share what they did in early
recovery and needing a change in jobs. What
steps are needed or what footwork is needed
first before exiting.
It was suggested in early recovery not to make
any major changes emmediately because we are
still in the early stages of recovery and that we
should wait about a yr before jumping into anything
new.
I'm hoping other wonderful SR folks will come
along soon to share their own ESH with you
helping you and guiding you with positive suggestions.
recovery learning new healthier ways to remain
sober and that is just what you are doing. As you
continue to listen and talk about each situation
in life and like the one you are in right now with
your job, folks will share their own experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was like before,
during and after their addiction.
Many of us have dealt with complications that
come with a job, old and new. Dealing with co
workers, bosses and everything that goes with
it.
When we are fresh into our recovery, we are
still trying to sort out all the reasons why we
turned to alcohol or drugs or prescription meds,
anything to numb us or fuel us so we can face
our jobs on a daily bases.
I know for myself when I was working, I tried
to treat others the way I wanted to be treated
too. To be kind, caring, supportive and such.
However, before, during and after my addiction
and recovery, folks never seemed to change.
It was me going thru changes.
As you continue to pray and learn asking for
help and guidance not only from your Higher
Power but also from your support system,
things will eventually become clearer in your
heart and mind as to know what you will need
to do.
All these changes as you remain sober will be
stepping stones in helping you grow stronger
with in your self, self confidence, self awareness.
The 3rd step prayer is also one that I memorized
and still incorporate in my life on a daily bases
and in all my affairs to help me and guide me
in helping me make the right decisions.
Maybe others will share what they did in early
recovery and needing a change in jobs. What
steps are needed or what footwork is needed
first before exiting.
It was suggested in early recovery not to make
any major changes emmediately because we are
still in the early stages of recovery and that we
should wait about a yr before jumping into anything
new.
I'm hoping other wonderful SR folks will come
along soon to share their own ESH with you
helping you and guiding you with positive suggestions.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
when i was new the aa old timers told me to pick up my 30 day chip even if i didnt want to
that its not about me
its to demonstrate to the newer guy with 6 days that its possible to stay sober for a month
that its not about me
its to demonstrate to the newer guy with 6 days that its possible to stay sober for a month
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Thanks Sharon. I don't see how I can possibly stay in the job another year. Maybe major change is not a good idea but I don't see any alternative. It is very hard to stay sober at the moment but I'm trying my best.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
Only you know Mary if staying at this job is
worth it or not. Before you make your decision,
pray about it. Then do your footwork next.
Meaning, check all your options before taking
this big step. I dont know where you are in your
life. For me, im retired at 61. There are others
still working after this age because they have to
for support of themselves and family members.
If you are young then you have a lots of time
ahead of you. I mean I dont know all the circumstances
of where you are in life. You know what I mean?
Do you have sights on some other work you'd
like to do or go to? Is staying home an option
so that you can get some good sober time behind
you?
Maybe part time?
If the work environment is toxic and will
be more harm than good for your health
and sobriety, then remember staying sober
is top priority and then you will be able to
handle a job transfer. Does that make sense?
All of us have had different or similar work
situations as you and there have been many
out comes too. Some move to quickly and
relapse and end up worse off than they were
before.
If I dont stay sober under any and all circumstances
in life, then I wouldn't have a life. Id end up returning
to my alcohol addiction, picking up right where I
left off at, which was already bad, or end up dead
or even crazy.
None of us ever wants to end up like that, but
as we have read and heard of so many times, it
happens when addiction takes over us. And that
can happen to anyone.
worth it or not. Before you make your decision,
pray about it. Then do your footwork next.
Meaning, check all your options before taking
this big step. I dont know where you are in your
life. For me, im retired at 61. There are others
still working after this age because they have to
for support of themselves and family members.
If you are young then you have a lots of time
ahead of you. I mean I dont know all the circumstances
of where you are in life. You know what I mean?
Do you have sights on some other work you'd
like to do or go to? Is staying home an option
so that you can get some good sober time behind
you?
Maybe part time?
If the work environment is toxic and will
be more harm than good for your health
and sobriety, then remember staying sober
is top priority and then you will be able to
handle a job transfer. Does that make sense?
All of us have had different or similar work
situations as you and there have been many
out comes too. Some move to quickly and
relapse and end up worse off than they were
before.
If I dont stay sober under any and all circumstances
in life, then I wouldn't have a life. Id end up returning
to my alcohol addiction, picking up right where I
left off at, which was already bad, or end up dead
or even crazy.
None of us ever wants to end up like that, but
as we have read and heard of so many times, it
happens when addiction takes over us. And that
can happen to anyone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Thank you all, all the responses help and I appreciate them.
Sharon, yes I will pray for guidance. I don't have anyone to support me. I'm in my 30s. I don't know what is the best thing to do at the moment. I will pray. I'm grateful for all your support. You have given me a lot to think about.
Sharon, yes I will pray for guidance. I don't have anyone to support me. I'm in my 30s. I don't know what is the best thing to do at the moment. I will pray. I'm grateful for all your support. You have given me a lot to think about.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
Good job Mary…..here you are with another
day sober as you continue learning with a ton
of willingness.
That's good progress as you move forward
and giving lots of hope to others who are
also wanting to achieve success in sobriety.
day sober as you continue learning with a ton
of willingness.
That's good progress as you move forward
and giving lots of hope to others who are
also wanting to achieve success in sobriety.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Mary, you are doing great. And Sharon is giving you very sound advice.
If you really must leave because it's the best thing for your own mental health and sobriety, do it the right way. Continue to do your best at your current job, being the best person you can there regardless of how your boss behaves. If you behave poorly, you are no better than she is, you know?
My work was also causing major stress for me and was a factor in my drinking, but I realized with my last relapse that it was really my reaction to that stress that was the issue. Well of course it was, but hmmmm. What I mean by that is that I felt that I had no voice and no control in the matter. And that was because I didn't. I'd said my piece and wasn't being "heard." Well, with this last relapse, I realized that either I was going to need to be heard, or I was going to need to leave the job. And that no longer scared me! In fact, I now feel empowered by the determination I have to speak my piece and make my ultimatum. I will not walk out if I don't "get my way," but I will make it clear that the position won't work out for me in that case. It's a very freeing feeling.
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Just be clear on your motivations. That's where the praying bit comes in.
O
If you really must leave because it's the best thing for your own mental health and sobriety, do it the right way. Continue to do your best at your current job, being the best person you can there regardless of how your boss behaves. If you behave poorly, you are no better than she is, you know?
My work was also causing major stress for me and was a factor in my drinking, but I realized with my last relapse that it was really my reaction to that stress that was the issue. Well of course it was, but hmmmm. What I mean by that is that I felt that I had no voice and no control in the matter. And that was because I didn't. I'd said my piece and wasn't being "heard." Well, with this last relapse, I realized that either I was going to need to be heard, or I was going to need to leave the job. And that no longer scared me! In fact, I now feel empowered by the determination I have to speak my piece and make my ultimatum. I will not walk out if I don't "get my way," but I will make it clear that the position won't work out for me in that case. It's a very freeing feeling.
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Just be clear on your motivations. That's where the praying bit comes in.
O
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