20 days and feeling...eh
 

In my case, my detoxing is coming at me in two completely different stages. I’m assuming this is very common.

First stage was physical. All the physical withdrawal symptoms that we all know and love. Nausea, sweating, shakes, heart rate, etc. Name a withdrawal symptom and I had it. That passed after 3-4 days and then my mind went into a euphoric state where I got my sober plan into action and got my life set up to become manageable again. This last approximately two weeks.

Second stage is purely mental. All physical symptoms are gone. I’ve lost 9 pounds with exercise, eating “healthy”, and plenty of water. I’ve lost two inches off my gut just from not being bloated all the time. I can’t remember the last time I felt this good physically.

After that euphoric state faded away, it got real. Am I really doing this? Quitting drinking? It’s such a weird thought that produces both happiness and fear in my brain. Adjusting to a completely different life that I have lived over the past 20 years will be no easy adjustment but I’m excited for it.

Currently, I’m going through small bouts of irritability, mood swings, insomnia, and depression. Yes, those are all symptoms of PAWS. Do I have it? I have no idea. It can’t be diagnosed. Even if it would be diagnosed, I am not going on any more medication. More than likely I would get prescribed a benzo or opioid to “fix” this. Not happening. I will power through it.

I have noticed that I see a dramatic improvement when I actually do get sleep. I posted on day 17 about being tired all the time. This has gotten better in the past couple days but my sleeping is still very erratic. Two nights ago I slept one hour and all my mental symptoms came roaring back. Last night I slept 11 hours and all the symptoms are gone.

Oddly enough, through all of this I have not had the slightest craving for a drink. I know I’m very lucky in that regard.

My rant is over. Even though I’m going through all of these expected ups and downs, quitting drinking has been the best thing I have ever done and I will not go back. Have a good day everyone!

That all sounds so normal and typical VinnyMcM. My only suggestion is that when the feeling comes, don't fight it and just let it play through. If something irritates you, stop a second and examine that. It might be worthy of irritation and then you can rationally address it. More often than not though I think you'll find those moments just to be your old nag-headed AV trying to hijack things. The beautiful thing about sobriety is that we now have the ability to stop and think for a few minutes and right-size the problem (or lack thereof). Even though you felt like you were ranting in your post, when I read your post it sounded to me like things are going VERY well for you and that you are on your right road. It sounded positive and like "normal" people talk. Just my humble opinion.

I would just enjoy the days where you get 11 hours and leave the ones where you got little sleep. Just get through them. I can tell you first hand that lack of sleep affects every single thing in life. Even before I quit alcohol the no sleep vs. OK sleep days were night and day.

This is 100% spot on. And considering your username, your words hold more weight :)

Hi Vinny

I won't sugar coat this.

It may get better the longer you stay sober and it might not too.

Im not just talking about the sleep either, talking about the way you react to sobriety.

Look around the forum and you can see in my estimations about a 50/50 split.

For every drinker that kicks on after a few months, there is another who comes unstuck.

Monitor it closely, be prepared to take further action if it doesn't improve.

Sometimes quitting alcohol is all it takes, sometimes it can take a lot more work than just quitting.

Don't underestimate this thing.

Your post was excellent Vinny.

I thought you sounded well too. Seemed to be expressing how things were going, but having a good handle on it.

Well don on your twenty days.

Congrats on 20 days. No worries alot of the crap your going thru will be a memory . long as you stay off the sauce you will be fine. Trust me it gets better

Great progress. If you are concerned about your health- see your GP.