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Day 28

Old 01-05-2020, 05:37 AM
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Day 28

Sleep was restless last night but better than nothing. I'm going to meet up with an AA'er for coffee and then got to a men's only meeting. Later my wife and I will go to the 5:30 open discussion. We went to dinner with family last night and there was more drinking than usual which upset my wife for a bit. We talked through it and sat at the end of the table with my Mom (not drinking), my teenage sister, and my young niece. Eventually we had a good sober time goofing off with them while the drinkers were loud and obnoxious, then surly. I didn't really have any feelings towards the drinking nor felt the urge to join in but it definitely affected my wife negatively so I think we will decline future outings for a while.
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Old 01-05-2020, 05:40 AM
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Hey, that's 4 weeks!
Only 3 days until a month.

Good job adapting to the situation, and I think it's a good idea to plan to avoid these for awhile. Any reason you didn't just leave when things started getting uncomfortable?
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Old 01-05-2020, 05:47 AM
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I'm with your wife. I don't do well with drinkers once they start getting loud or repetitive or argumentative. I just leave.

Well done on your 28. Both of you.
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Old 01-05-2020, 06:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Obladi View Post
Hey, that's 4 weeks!
Only 3 days until a month.

Good job adapting to the situation, and I think it's a good idea to plan to avoid these for awhile. Any reason you didn't just leave when things started getting uncomfortable?
Neither of us wanted to leave as it's an annual family thing and my grandparents are getting up there in age. The uncomfortable feeling lasted all of 10 minutes then we were both happy we stayed and could look at drinking in its true light. There were only 5 people out of 18 drinking and they were at the other end of a long table. We both left feeling good about the choices we made and glad that we weren't drinking with the others. Had the event completely revolved around drinking there's no way we would have stayed though.
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Old 01-05-2020, 06:18 AM
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I was in the same boat two nights ago but with significantly less people. Just my wife and two neighbors for a game night. I stayed sober. My wife had one drink. My neighbors got sloppy drunk. Not malicious, just annoying. It sucked too because I was having a great time but they just got loud and annoying and couldn’t concentrate on the game anymore. I just excused myself, went home, and caught up on Netflix(The Witcher if your wondering).

Sure is nice though sitting on the sober side of the table isn’t it?!
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Old 01-05-2020, 06:28 AM
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Congratulations on the sober time. It sounds like your wife will be a big help in your continued sobriety.
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Old 01-05-2020, 06:38 AM
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Funny how that works huh. Knowing we probably were the same way in our boozing days. In my case like my girlfriend has her drinks abd stuff when we go eat and what not . wierd but she is supportive of my recovery. If that makes sense. Your like yeah but she is still boozing in front of you the way I look at it is I have the problem she don't. And I accept that. Thats the key word. I accept that me and booze no longer get along. Then say I'm not gonna drink today. ✌
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Old 01-05-2020, 08:28 AM
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Great post and plan for today! I also think your conclusion that these outings aren't the best for you for awhile is a good one. Keep going!
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:44 PM
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congrats on getting through that and 28 days

D
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Old 01-05-2020, 03:48 PM
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I just reread and noticed that you said only 5 of 18 were drinking. I think that's such an important thing to notice - I realized I was the only one drinking "like that" and indeed, often there were people not actually drinking alcohol!
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Old 01-05-2020, 04:11 PM
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Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
I just reread and noticed that you said only 5 of 18 were drinking. I think that's such an important thing to notice - I realized I was the only one drinking "like that" and indeed, often there were people not actually drinking alcohol!
Out of the 5 only my sister and step Dad were being loud. My Mom was so annoyed with them. I was glad not to be one of the ones irritating her!
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Old 01-05-2020, 04:34 PM
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Well done on 4 weeks.

Good idea on the men's meetings

Definitely helps keep the focus on sobriety and I know my wife appreciated it too.

They tend to develop a few trust issues with us , which you can't really blame them for
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Old 01-05-2020, 05:18 PM
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Congrats on four weeks sober! I agree that drunks are often loud and rude and not good company.
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Old 01-05-2020, 05:28 PM
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Originally Posted by cantsleep123 View Post
Sleep was restless last night but better than nothing. I'm going to meet up with an AA'er for coffee and then got to a men's only meeting. Later my wife and I will go to the 5:30 open discussion. We went to dinner with family last night and there was more drinking than usual which upset my wife for a bit. We talked through it and sat at the end of the table with my Mom (not drinking), my teenage sister, and my young niece. Eventually we had a good sober time goofing off with them while the drinkers were loud and obnoxious, then surly. I didn't really have any feelings towards the drinking nor felt the urge to join in but it definitely affected my wife negatively so I think we will decline future outings for a while.
Awesome post. I dislike being sober around drunk people. Every drunk person seems obnoxious and emotionally all over the place. Not knocking their choice of beverage, and I've been there myself, but it's just an uncomfortable situation to be around. I attended my first family meal today since quitting and also sat with nieces and nephews. It's fun goofing around with the kids and spending those memorable moments with them. Moments they will likely remember for a long time to come.

Well done. 28 days is a great achievement and it sounds like you've got your head screwed on.

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