Help its getting real bad
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Things have changed love....the red capitals with this illness are gone.
People are going to start helping instead of judging....if you need help, please call the paramedics. They will decide if you need further treatment.
s
People are going to start helping instead of judging....if you need help, please call the paramedics. They will decide if you need further treatment.
s
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by silentrun 
That's what you think (and you're putting that on her)and that's part of the problem. You're not a loser Whitejay. You will get through this.
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by venuscat
So many hugs. OK.....water is important. Small sips often. s
And do you have any crackers? Even a few crackers might help with the nausea. s
sAnd do you have any crackers? Even a few crackers might help with the nausea.
sI hate alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Wastinglife
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Derringer
Did you get sponsored through the steps ?
Or just attend some meetings ?
Or just attend some meetings ?
And I had a sponsor and she hated me.
But I didnt work the steps. Old men were in my face constantly trying to pick up. I never fit into the female click so I only had men friends.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I'm sorry to hear about your son but I'm sure he, and his little girls, love you and want you around for a long long time. Please do go to the ER if you think you need to.
I'm proud of you for sticking to your day one through all of this.
Keep posting here, daily..heck, more than daily
D
I'm proud of you for sticking to your day one through all of this.
Keep posting here, daily..heck, more than daily
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Whitejay we addicts can always observe how awful and hopeless things are. And we can recount long histories of failed attempts, who didn't like us, how unfair that was, how we were never given a chance, how things are all our fault, and there is just absolutely no way forward. We are experts at that. What finally got me sober was starting to do one thing for myself or my family every day and coming up with a proactive plan moving forward. I am certainly not trying to minimize the enormity of what you have going on today. But just don't spin and spin and spin and name - time and again - what was, is and will be wrong. Every single time you do that you end up right back where you started with all the same problems, and probably not sober. OK, I've said my peace.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I've been 'fired' by two sponsors. I don't sleep well so I kept missing our appointments. I still feel guilty because they took the time to help me. I was either passed out drunk or just sleeping while sober. My higher power is SR I think!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by whitejay
I have good insurance. Im scared because it was in large red capital's on the very front page of all the connected computers in CA so that is the very first thing the dr"s, hospitals etc when they pulled up my file. And yes I was treated different and asked my dr to remove it and he did.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Originally Posted by whitejay
I am lonely, bored, cant drive due to dui's (many) and severe depression that alcohol makes 100x worse.
I hate myself.That is probably why I drink. Maybe deep down I dont think I deserve a good life. I'm really messed up and should probably get a therapist because I have no one to talk to....
How does someone go through their entire life and not have 1 single friend..
That tells you alot about me. How pathetic. Thank you all for talking with me. It helps so much.
I hate myself.That is probably why I drink. Maybe deep down I dont think I deserve a good life. I'm really messed up and should probably get a therapist because I have no one to talk to....
How does someone go through their entire life and not have 1 single friend..
That tells you alot about me. How pathetic. Thank you all for talking with me. It helps so much.
Maybe the first step is a doctor. See where you're at health wise. There are things a doctor can do as well.
I see myself in you, probably we all do. The thing that's hard to see right now is that even when you think you've lost everything good in your life, you're wrong- there's always more you can lose if you don't stop. What do you want for the rest of your life? To be a mother to your son? A grandmother to his daughters? There's so much you might still make of your life if you quit drinking. There's no situation so bad that drinking can't make it worse.
You don't know what might happen to your son, and it's not in your control. So grab hold of the reins and take charge of what you can control! It's not always easy but it's always worth it. There are some folks here that literally crawled out a grave dug for them by booze. It can be done!
I hope you will stick around SR. I didn't have any idea how I might salvage my life and soul until I found this place. It really helped save me, helped me save myself. So I will stand on the end of the pier for the rest of my days in case I can throw a lifeline to someone else.
We are here for you! If you don't give up on yourself we won't give up on you, either.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by MythOfSisyphus
I read the entire thread and know you're hurting. Everyone here has gone through something terrible, too, so we don't judge. I drank like a fish for 25 years, lost my marriage and a lot of friends. When I finally got sober I lost the rest of my friends! Turns out there just drinking buddies. I reached the point where alcohol took everything good from me. When I quit cold turkey I didn't even care if it might kill me...just wanted it to stop. But I haven't had a drink in over seven years. That's something akin to a miracle! If I can do it, you can do it.
Maybe the first step is a doctor. See where you're at health wise. There are things a doctor can do as well.
I see myself in you, probably we all do. The thing that's hard to see right now is that even when you think you've lost everything good in your life, you're wrong- there's always more you can lose if you don't stop. What do you want for the rest of your life? To be a mother to your son? A grandmother to his daughters? There's so much you might still make of your life if you quit drinking. There's no situation so bad that drinking can't make it worse.
You don't know what might happen to your son, and it's not in your control. So grab hold of the reins and take charge of what you can control! It's not always easy but it's always worth it. There are some folks here that literally crawled out a grave dug for them by booze. It can be done!
I hope you will stick around SR. I didn't have any idea how I might salvage my life and soul until I found this place. It really helped save me, helped me save myself. So I will stand on the end of the pier for the rest of my days in case I can throw a lifeline to someone else.
We are here for you! If you don't give up on yourself we won't give up on you, either.
Maybe the first step is a doctor. See where you're at health wise. There are things a doctor can do as well.
I see myself in you, probably we all do. The thing that's hard to see right now is that even when you think you've lost everything good in your life, you're wrong- there's always more you can lose if you don't stop. What do you want for the rest of your life? To be a mother to your son? A grandmother to his daughters? There's so much you might still make of your life if you quit drinking. There's no situation so bad that drinking can't make it worse.
You don't know what might happen to your son, and it's not in your control. So grab hold of the reins and take charge of what you can control! It's not always easy but it's always worth it. There are some folks here that literally crawled out a grave dug for them by booze. It can be done!
I hope you will stick around SR. I didn't have any idea how I might salvage my life and soul until I found this place. It really helped save me, helped me save myself. So I will stand on the end of the pier for the rest of my days in case I can throw a lifeline to someone else.
We are here for you! If you don't give up on yourself we won't give up on you, either.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
Try checking out www.intherooms.com and Google AA telephone meetings. They have online meetings and meetings on phone. People make friends this way. Just speak your truth and watch how many reach out to you just like here on SR. I use all 3 and face to face. Praying for you.
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
I read intently each response. I take it to heart and use it all. I truly want to stop forever....so thank you again.
Found out my son stole check from me.
He apologized but added ' you should know of all people how addiction is " for justification. Im sickened but I refuse to drink over it.
When I feel better the bird watching and walks begin.!
Found out my son stole check from me.
He apologized but added ' you should know of all people how addiction is " for justification. Im sickened but I refuse to drink over it.
When I feel better the bird watching and walks begin.!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Whitejay - this is troubling news about your son, which I'm sure throws you into a panic. It sounds like you sacrificed everything to be supportive of your child. Your move, your financial commitment, all of it. You've given heart and soul here to do the right thing by him only to have this new situation arise.
It is extremely important for you to understand "boundaries" with your adult son. Part of codependency has to do with boundaries whether they are with a partner or child. I too am guilty of putting my own child <daughter> needs ahead of my own and to the detriment of my own security. This would make me absolutely insane when she would get evicted and I had "Lost.Everything.I.invested" to keep her safe and a roof over her head. I spent thousands of $$ so she could visit her children (two boys), which - for years - was under supervision with fees for a court appointed monitor. My heart was broken by her poor choices. I drank in private, never around my grandsons. It escalated though I was careful when I drank but that's another story... I was employed by the government and so Monday through Friday I was sober as a church mouse... but my whole relationship with alcohol increased in tolerance. I have not yet had a legal consequence of my drinking but that doesn't matter. What I am trying to say is that it <tolerance> does get worse.
My whole point in sharing with you is that YOU need to expect to be there for your grandchildren and yes, your son's wife. This is the time that you need to step up to the plate and COME THROUGH for them by showing up and being as supportive as you can while your son deals with his adult issues - his cause and effect of bad choices. It doesn't make him a bad person but he needs to face his consequences. You be there for him and his family and you will never NEVER regret doing the right thing.
One of the things that had a huge impact on me getting sober was reading a scripture about older women who need to "be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine... but teachers of good..." it hit me in my heart knowing I needed to get my act together and become an example and be there for my grandsons.
I hope this helps. I am checking back on you and hope you find the strength to stay a true course for yourself, your son, and your grandchildren. They need you to be your best self. I truly believe you can do this. Prayers for your strength.
It is extremely important for you to understand "boundaries" with your adult son. Part of codependency has to do with boundaries whether they are with a partner or child. I too am guilty of putting my own child <daughter> needs ahead of my own and to the detriment of my own security. This would make me absolutely insane when she would get evicted and I had "Lost.Everything.I.invested" to keep her safe and a roof over her head. I spent thousands of $$ so she could visit her children (two boys), which - for years - was under supervision with fees for a court appointed monitor. My heart was broken by her poor choices. I drank in private, never around my grandsons. It escalated though I was careful when I drank but that's another story... I was employed by the government and so Monday through Friday I was sober as a church mouse... but my whole relationship with alcohol increased in tolerance. I have not yet had a legal consequence of my drinking but that doesn't matter. What I am trying to say is that it <tolerance> does get worse.
My whole point in sharing with you is that YOU need to expect to be there for your grandchildren and yes, your son's wife. This is the time that you need to step up to the plate and COME THROUGH for them by showing up and being as supportive as you can while your son deals with his adult issues - his cause and effect of bad choices. It doesn't make him a bad person but he needs to face his consequences. You be there for him and his family and you will never NEVER regret doing the right thing.
One of the things that had a huge impact on me getting sober was reading a scripture about older women who need to "be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine... but teachers of good..." it hit me in my heart knowing I needed to get my act together and become an example and be there for my grandsons.
I hope this helps. I am checking back on you and hope you find the strength to stay a true course for yourself, your son, and your grandchildren. They need you to be your best self. I truly believe you can do this. Prayers for your strength.
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Ladysadie
Whitejay - this is troubling news about your son, which I'm sure throws you into a panic. It sounds like you sacrificed everything to be supportive of your child. Your move, your financial commitment, all of it. You've given heart and soul here to do the right thing by him only to have this new situation arise.
It is extremely important for you to understand "boundaries" with your adult son. Part of codependency has to do with boundaries whether they are with a partner or child. I too am guilty of putting my own child <daughter> needs ahead of my own and to the detriment of my own security. This would make me absolutely insane when she would get evicted and I had "Lost.Everything.I.invested" to keep her safe and a roof over her head. I spent thousands of $$ so she could visit her children (two boys), which - for years - was under supervision with fees for a court appointed monitor. My heart was broken by her poor choices. I drank in private, never around my grandsons. It escalated though I was careful when I drank but that's another story... I was employed by the government and so Monday through Friday I was sober as a church mouse... but my whole relationship with alcohol increased in tolerance. I have not yet had a legal consequence of my drinking but that doesn't matter. What I am trying to say is that it <tolerance> does get worse.
My whole point in sharing with you is that YOU need to expect to be there for your grandchildren and yes, your son's wife. This is the time that you need to step up to the plate and COME THROUGH for them by showing up and being as supportive as you can while your son deals with his adult issues - his cause and effect of bad choices. It doesn't make him a bad person but he needs to face his consequences. You be there for him and his family and you will never NEVER regret doing the right thing.
One of the things that had a huge impact on me getting sober was reading a scripture about older women who need to "be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine... but teachers of good..." it hit me in my heart knowing I needed to get my act together and become an example and be there for my grandsons.
I hope this helps. I am checking back on you and hope you find the strength to stay a true course for yourself, your son, and your grandchildren. They need you to be your best self. I truly believe you can do this. Prayers for your strength.
It is extremely important for you to understand "boundaries" with your adult son. Part of codependency has to do with boundaries whether they are with a partner or child. I too am guilty of putting my own child <daughter> needs ahead of my own and to the detriment of my own security. This would make me absolutely insane when she would get evicted and I had "Lost.Everything.I.invested" to keep her safe and a roof over her head. I spent thousands of $$ so she could visit her children (two boys), which - for years - was under supervision with fees for a court appointed monitor. My heart was broken by her poor choices. I drank in private, never around my grandsons. It escalated though I was careful when I drank but that's another story... I was employed by the government and so Monday through Friday I was sober as a church mouse... but my whole relationship with alcohol increased in tolerance. I have not yet had a legal consequence of my drinking but that doesn't matter. What I am trying to say is that it <tolerance> does get worse.
My whole point in sharing with you is that YOU need to expect to be there for your grandchildren and yes, your son's wife. This is the time that you need to step up to the plate and COME THROUGH for them by showing up and being as supportive as you can while your son deals with his adult issues - his cause and effect of bad choices. It doesn't make him a bad person but he needs to face his consequences. You be there for him and his family and you will never NEVER regret doing the right thing.
One of the things that had a huge impact on me getting sober was reading a scripture about older women who need to "be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine... but teachers of good..." it hit me in my heart knowing I needed to get my act together and become an example and be there for my grandsons.
I hope this helps. I am checking back on you and hope you find the strength to stay a true course for yourself, your son, and your grandchildren. They need you to be your best self. I truly believe you can do this. Prayers for your strength.
But I think I was so messed up socially that I drank and gave my only child whatever he wanted to make up for my
lack of attention. Thank you for caring.I love your post and take it to heart.
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