Help its getting real bad
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by thomas11 
I certainly don't have a magic bullet or something but I can share with you how I approached it back in 2015. I was laid up from my injuries and had sold the company, I made staying sober the #1 thing in my life for weeks at a time. The only thing more important to me was air to breath. And that's what it took. I wish you the very best.
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
Whitejay I am so sorry for how you are feeling. The one thing you should remember is that you are FAR FAR from the end. There is no quick end with alcohol. There is misery and suffering and humiliation in your future. You will continue to not be able to form healthy relationships, you will lose your mobility, you will lose your cognitive abilities, and on and on.
You are still capable of looking at this situation as seen in your posts above. Do anything you can to get a sober day or two/three together and try something radically different this time. Pack a backpack with some water and some food and get out and start walking. Miles and miles and miles. Anything physical that occupies your mind. When I was using (over 3 decades and the last 10 years - insanity), I really wasn't capable of forming meaningful relationships. That will all come back with some sober time. You cannot drink anymore Whitejay. I am living in Day 43 here and if I can stay sober, ANYONE can stay sober. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
You are still capable of looking at this situation as seen in your posts above. Do anything you can to get a sober day or two/three together and try something radically different this time. Pack a backpack with some water and some food and get out and start walking. Miles and miles and miles. Anything physical that occupies your mind. When I was using (over 3 decades and the last 10 years - insanity), I really wasn't capable of forming meaningful relationships. That will all come back with some sober time. You cannot drink anymore Whitejay. I am living in Day 43 here and if I can stay sober, ANYONE can stay sober. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Thank you all my new SR friends.
Im going to do it and make it !
I have made up my mind and will make my sobriety #1 and never ever look back. Its so demoralizing what I have done these last 20 years. Down right
sickening when I think about it. Which is always. I just wish someone, any one
could tell me why I did these self sabotaging sh&* for soooooooo f long.
what a waste. NO MORE !!!!!
Im going to do it and make it !
I have made up my mind and will make my sobriety #1 and never ever look back. Its so demoralizing what I have done these last 20 years. Down right
sickening when I think about it. Which is always. I just wish someone, any one
could tell me why I did these self sabotaging sh&* for soooooooo f long.
what a waste. NO MORE !!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
I did the same thing dear whitejay....20 years.....one thing I know for sure: I appreciate and value every single day of my life now. And I have hopes and dreams that are coming true, and so many more to work on....we did this for so long, but now we are free. Free to live the best life we can. 
s ❤️
s ❤️
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by venuscat
I did the same thing dear whitejay....20 years.....one thing I know for sure: I appreciate and value every single day of my life now. And I have hopes and dreams that are coming true, and so many more to work on....we did this for so long, but now we are free. Free to live the best life we can. s ❤️
s ❤️Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
Not sure where you are, but if you need any help to find local meetings and numbers, shout out. And yes, if you are not too far out of the city, someone should be able to pick you up for a meeting.
This is one day at a time....all we need to do is not pick up a drink today. You can do that. And you have friends now who care. s ❤️
And yes, if you are not too far out of the city, someone should be able to pick you up for a meeting. This is one day at a time....all we need to do is not pick up a drink today. You can do that.
And you have friends now who care. s ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
In addition to your renewed commitment to sobriety, have you thought about creating some barriers between you and the alcohol? Since you don't drive already, cut off the way you get drinks in the house. Rearrange how you do your banking to make it thoughtfully inconvenient to have access to money for alcohol. Deliberately change your schedule so you are no longer physically near alcohol (in a store, or a bar/pub, at a party) and you are "busy" during drinking time at home (spring cleaning, exercise, project, hobby). You might not even know what else you enjoy because alcohol has been number 1, so, once you feel a bit better, explore hobbies and old and new interests. That's a good way to meet new friends too, even online ones - just like us! You can do this, and you definitely do deserve to live well!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
I hope my experience can help. I started tracking the days I was sober. Making 5 or 6 was huge. But the real question was "why was I drinking?" Only you can answer that, but for me it was a number of personal issues I had to address. Some, time addressed for me. I found exercise was a great time killer and kept my mind off alcohol. Join a local gym or just walk outside. So get rid of the alcohol in the house, don't buy anymore, and when you want to drink go for a walk. And mark a day on the calendar. Day will follow day, and before you know it you will have a week. Then two. I found personal counseling helpful as well. So if you are not comfortable in AA, try that. I know it is hard. Anybody that says it is easy has never been deep in the grips of alcohol. But you can get out! I promise. I just hit 18 months, and there was a time when that seemed impossible. Best wishes to you in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
You have many friends here Whitejay. I completely understand what you are going through. I was in the ER 2 weeks ago and got pumped full of Valium. The doctor gave me a prescription to take home. 3 or 4 days I was just relaxing on the sofa as my body was detoxing. By day 5, I was completely detoxed and feeling great. That's how I got sober now. Think about going to a hospital. They will certainly help you detox.
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
You guys are the Best !!!
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me, support me, and uplifting me in my need.
BUT YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED THIS SECOND !!!!!!
Im losing it.
My 30y old adult son just walked in my room while I was reading and told
me he's going back to prison....
I am so sad. I am not doing.......
He has spent from 14-28 in prison.
I was just starting to get to know him........😢😢😢😢😢😢😪😪
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me, support me, and uplifting me in my need.
BUT YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED THIS SECOND !!!!!!
Im losing it.
My 30y old adult son just walked in my room while I was reading and told
me he's going back to prison....
I am so sad. I am not doing.......
He has spent from 14-28 in prison.
I was just starting to get to know him........😢😢😢😢😢😢😪😪
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Ask your son how he wants you to be when he is back behind bars. Clear, calm, healthy and liberated from alcohol? Or sick, on the downward slide, and maybe not here anymore when he gets out? Then try to make his choice real so that he can go back inside with some hope. Give him that. Tell him that for him you will stay sober and get healthy so that when he gets out you will be ready to help him. Stay with us whitejay.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
So whitejay, you obviously have life reigning down its fists on you right now. Can you stay sober? Did you ask your son if he wants you to stay sober? Please ask him about this. Have a conversation about how he wants you to live if he has to be gone for the time being. You can only fix what you can fix. With the drama headed your way, drinking would only add that much more drama. And it sounds like physically you just cannot take much more drinking. Ask your son and tell us what he says about this. Please please please ask him.
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
He violated parole for testing dirty.
Calif going to extradite him back to CA.
Im on the East coast.
I'm so so sad. Sobbing
He inherited my addiction gene.
I havent seen him since he was 14.
Thank you for listening.....so sad.
Calif going to extradite him back to CA.
Im on the East coast.
I'm so so sad. Sobbing
He inherited my addiction gene.
I havent seen him since he was 14.
Thank you for listening.....so sad.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
I am so sorry...I can hear how much this hurts.
But he can recover....you both can.....and maybe he will be able to get the help inside....there are so many good programs. s xx
But he can recover....you both can.....and maybe he will be able to get the help inside....there are so many good programs.
s xx
Seeking wisdom
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
So whitejay, you obviously have life reigning down its fists on you right now. Can you stay sober? Did you ask your son if he wants you to stay sober? Please ask him about this. Have a conversation about how he wants you to live if he has to be gone for the time being. You can only fix what you can fix. With the drama headed your way, drinking would only add that much more drama. And it sounds like physically you just cannot take much more drinking. Ask your son and tell us what he says about this. Please please please ask him.
But he does see me crying all the time and he says "poor mom "....
He goes to really bad prison like Folsom and they put him in solitary confinement or a certain area because of some bad things.
Why god why. 😶
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
Believe it or not Folsom has AA now....meetings and volunteers who help.
We can always be afraid of the worst.....and sometimes it happens, but then we need to rally and stay strong. You can be there for him and help him as long as you are looking after you.
I hope he didn't run....but if he did....well, you need to be healthy to help him.
Please look after you. s xx
We can always be afraid of the worst.....and sometimes it happens, but then we need to rally and stay strong. You can be there for him and help him as long as you are looking after you.
I hope he didn't run....but if he did....well, you need to be healthy to help him.
Please look after you.
s xx
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
