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Lacking motivation

Old 01-01-2020, 10:25 PM
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Lacking motivation

Currently lacking any motivation to stop drinking. When I stopped for 10 months the AA promises never came true for me. Enjoyed AA initially but then fell out with a few people and couldn't face going to meetings.

My sister is a vile creature who has assaulted me on several occasions in my mother's home. I think she is a dry drunk with mental issues. Real bitter 'the whole world is against me' type who has recently focused on me as the cause of her perceived difficulties, even though she has a job, house and excellent qualifications, and a dog that my elderly mother is mainly left to look after.
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Old 01-01-2020, 10:27 PM
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Its hard to feel good about life when you're in a toxic situation.

Any chance you could move out? Not drinking would really help the bank balance to help facilitate a move. Some good motivation there?

D
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Old 01-01-2020, 10:34 PM
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Unfortunately do not remotely have the funds to move out at present. Only positive I got from my 10 months off it was better physical fitness which I have retained as I do exercise a decent amount, cycling mainly. Drinking 110 units a week. This only costs me about €10 a day. Of course the true alkie will find funds to drink, we all know that. I used to spend about three times that on decent wine. Back then my salary was around €90k a year. I just adjusted my spend accordingly.
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Old 01-01-2020, 10:35 PM
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Do it for you. Get sober to live your life well. Not for your sister or anyone else. For you. Use AA or not. You are in charge. As for motivation, read through SR - people have all kinds of reasons from health, to finances, to legal, to control and function, to serving as a role model for children and more. Some are scared about what they imagine as a future with alcohol. Your reason will be personal, and we'll support you.

I'm really sorry about abuse from your family.
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Old 01-01-2020, 10:39 PM
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I remember your last thread now.

Sounds to me like you're drinking to make the intolerable a little more tolerable which is pretty futile - you're just going to add to the 'reasons to drink' list and going to want to drink more and more.

Did you have a sponsor at AA? what did they say about The Promises?
(not an AA guy myself)

D
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Old 01-02-2020, 04:56 AM
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I'm never sure how to suggest things to help motivate someone.I apolagize now for wasting anyone's time with what I type here.

For myself I often will find something to watch to help me "get goals".
It may sound silly to everyone else but if I'm not in the mood to clean I'll can watch a bunch of cleaning videos on youtube and totally get in the mood to straighten up. Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners is right up my alley.
Same goes for diet - I'll get really into before/after shots on reddit or watch some vids on youtube.

But that's just me - am a visual person. When I was into books, they were a huge motivation. Got just about every book on sobriety there is - at least all the ones I hear about online being referred to others.

Sometimes a trip to the doctor can help too. I actually have a doctor appt in about a hour and she is a huge motivating factor in my life.
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Old 01-02-2020, 05:12 AM
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Just popping in to offer support - living situations can be atrocious, and I'm sorry for your situation. Best thing I can say is that what seems impossible - ie moving out- can only happen one piece (or $ increment) at a time. I had to do things v slowly.

As far as AA and the promises....we aren't promised a timeline to see the promises come true. 10 mo is awesome- and pretty short in the span of a lifetime thing like I want. We get antsy and want "results" and want bigger ones than the gains I bet you did see on top of just being in better shape. I can only advise that you commit this time, work the program and keep working it- the "faith" part that things will be better on the sober side, no matter what we literally have or figuratively feel, is sticking with the hope for the future.

What are your plans...today? That's the other piece that isn't so fun, yet can actually be a relief- one day, today, at a time.
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Old 01-02-2020, 05:24 AM
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Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
Just popping in to offer support - living situations can be atrocious, and I'm sorry for your situation. Best thing I can say is that what seems impossible - ie moving out- can only happen one piece (or $ increment) at a time. I had to do things v slowly.

As far as AA and the promises....we aren't promised a timeline to see the promises come true. 10 mo is awesome- and pretty short in the span of a lifetime thing like I want. We get antsy and want "results" and want bigger ones than the gains I bet you did see on top of just being in better shape. I can only advise that you commit this time, work the program and keep working it- the "faith" part that things will be better on the sober side, no matter what we literally have or figuratively feel, is sticking with the hope for the future.

What are your plans...today? That's the other piece that isn't so fun, yet can actually be a relief- one day, today, at a time.
Yes, thanks for your support and for that of the others also. I don't post much but often browse the forum and I have a lot of admiration for you in particular.

My living conditions aren't atrocious, fortunately, I don't live with my sister but whenever we meet of late, we just don't get on, to put it mildly.

My plans today are to pick a new sober date. I did do one good thing for my health today, which was to purchase a thing called a 'resistance band' which you can use for exercising at home, as I can't afford a gym and tbh I'm not really a gym person. Only cost €4 in Lidl. I have dumbbells too that I bought from another shop a few months ago.
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Old 01-02-2020, 05:26 AM
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You're most welcome, and glad to be of help.

I also thought to add that viewing things as "motivation" isn't always helpful to me- bc frankly, some days I'm not "motivated" to do xyz! Turning my life habits into just that, new ones that stack the odds in my favor for continued sobriety, has built muscles that come in reflexively when my flair is lacking.

And some days- those things like cleaning videos, or funny movies, or naps, or....turn the mental and emotional tide more quickly than I'd have thought.
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Old 01-03-2020, 01:51 AM
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Did you take the steps ?
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