Mags1

Welcome to the Weekenders

Baby Steps. What are they exactly?



I heard the term many many times when first sober here on SR.



I read that Baby steps are like mini-victories. I tend to agree.

For us, the victory could be a day without alcohol, or half a day without alcohol and even an hour without it.

In fact, if you’re like me and want to rush to the end result pronto!, then baby steps can be useful to steady myself and think.

I bought a Zumba DVD a few years ago. It was pretty easy the first part so what did I do? Yep, straight to the last part, the hardest exercise. What did I do? I caved. Never watched it again, far too difficult for me.



I didn’t carry out my baby steps on something new. I thought I had it sussed.

This can happen so many times with our sobriety. We think we’ve got this. Sometimes even to the part where we think we’ll be okay for an odd drink.

Walking the baby steps ensures we strengthen our steps and we don’t miss a step so we can be sure-footed and not off balance.



I read the following paragraph which I think sums up how important baby steps are.

Do you know the story of the struggling butterfly? The story goes that one day a man saw a cocoon. There was a small hole and he could see that the butterfly was struggling to get out of the cocoon. He decided to help it and cut open the cocoon so that it could be freed. When he did this, the butterfly died.

The parable is that the butterfly needs to struggle within the cocoon, building its strength so that its wings are strong enough to fly. Bypassing that step, doesn’t advance the process.
Scientifically, the butterfly goes through less of a struggle to build strength but there is a process by which it needs to send important fluids to its wings to expand them for flight.

Being accountable daily was so important in my early days of sobriety.

Sharing my weeks, months and eventually years strengthened my baby steps to aid me to be sure footed on my Recovery Road and be aware of any bumps and pitfalls on the path.




If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)

Dee74

Thanks Mags

D

theVman31

Bonjour
Absolutely love the OP Mags, thanks.
I'm in for sure.
V.

PhoenixJ

Thanks Mags

SnoozyQ

Thanks Mags, always a great intriduction going into the weekend.
I had to go lie down at the Zumba part ...lol

Xx

Rose335

Mags - thank you for this (yet again) brilliant thread and also for the butterfly parable. Thought provoking and helpful. I'm a great believer in baby steps as well as being incredibly impatient to get them done! So that took some reconciliation but gradually, and mostly become of this forum and it's fantastic threads, I'm curbing my impatience.

Snoozy! That was funny. I'd need to lie down for the Zumba part too.

Soberwolf

Forgot to say I'm in !

Sobertoday54

MLD51

I'm in!
Excellent OP, Mags, Thank you.

I remember being quite impatient at the beginning of my sobriety journey. I felt so ashamed and miserable, and I had so many regrets and people who were mad at me for various things - I wanted to fast-forward to the part where I felt better and people I had hurt were forgiving me for my horrible behavior. Someone wise at an AA meeting said something that stuck with me, though - it was along the lines of needing to go through the steps and the process slowly and deliberately, because skipping anything makes for an incomplete and "sloppy" sort of recovery. And I had to remember that it took years of drinking to mess up my life so badly - I really couldn't expect things to be fixed quickly. So I learned to be patient and trust the process. It was hard. I remember being so frustrated and wanting to give up a few times, because things were not happening on MY timetable. Yeah - I was not happy about not being in control. I had to let go. I had to put my head down and do the hard work. I had to learn to end each day grateful for whatever little progress was made, and for the fact that I had made it through another sober day. Sometimes there was no progress at all, and there were some really bad days that felt like I had taken steps backwards. But I stayed sober, and with time and patience, things did fall into place slowly. It's like building a house - the foundation has to be laid a block at a time, carefully and meticulously, or the whole house will fall down later.

Kaily

Thanks for the thread Mags.

Feeling pretty lonely. I went out walking this morning for 2 hours but I went at 7.30 so was home by 9.30 making it a long day on my own.

Anyway yesterday was my 2nd sober Christmas in 40 years.

HeadEast

Thanks Mags. Awesome as usual.

andyh

thanks Mags, great topic

Mags1

Kaily, Congratulations on your second sober Christmas. I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely, I don’t think the short days and long nights help this time of year.

saoutchik

Great OP Mags thanks, good reminder too.

Kaily i'm sorry you have been alone at Christmas but think how much worse it would have been if you had still been drinking. I hope things continue to improve for you in 2020.

theVman31

Morning Weekenders.
Up way too early 04h00 because fell asleep way too early yesterday evening...

Yesterday we went walking in a cave for a few hours. I was a caveman for a while although some would argue differently. The cave is 39kms long and considered one of the widest and most vast in europe. Stalactites and stalagmites every here

https://www.france-voyage.com/touris...-cave-1557.htm

This one is called the weeping Willow :

theVman31

Last one

Mags1

Morning Weekenders

Vinny, nice photo’s. It does look like a weeping willow too!

Red78

Vman how amazing.. I've been in caves in Hungary and also aussie and they are so powerful, it's just amazing..

Mags - baby steps is definitely the way to go, trying to walk before we can crawl is a recipe for disaster for a lot of us..

I am in for this weekend fully, can't wait for a sober wake up tomorrow on sat morning..

Mags1

Hi Red, good to see you.

Red78

Thanks Mags, it's good to be back.. I've gotta get this right, I can't give lots of support and get lots of support from our late friend Nichole for it to be in vain and go nowhere.. For taking myself into sobriety means I can give her the gift of sobriety too..