Firstly, I’d like to preface by wishing you all a very happy new year and all the best for 2020!!

With regards to the thread title, oh man. I think one of the main reasons I came to finally understand just how much I need to change is not only my own behaviour, but three times in the past week (the last being just 10 mins ago!) was that the behaviour I know I’ve exhibited and put people through has just been done to me. First time ever, folks. Well, probably not ever, but usually I’m as drunk as they so I never noticed.

About a week ago, a neighbour asked me to see her as she was having a panic attack, so I did. When I went to see her, she was clearly intoxicated and was screaming at her kitchen walls and screaming she wanted to be mentally institutionalised. That went from one extreme to the next, as my presence seemed to calm her, so less than an hour later she is telling me the songs she wants on YouTube and dancing, encouraging me to dance also. My god. Exhausting.

Next came Christmas, where a relative became so inebriated it was difficult to rouse her on Christmas Day, and when she did then proceeded to drink enough prosecco to cause her to become belligerent towards my mom and ultimately fall down the stairs, damaging two vertebrae and ending up at the A&E in a neck brace. It’s new year, and that’s how she has spent her holiday. Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding, indeed!

Then came the last. A phone call from a friend at 2am, screaming and shouting about racism directed at him, proceeding not to listen, shouting again, crying, moments of calm then yet more screaming when I’m trying to reason with him. My crime? I simply asked him if he’d drank a substantial amount, and if so, I would be better offered to discuss his situation and problems with him when he is sober. As you can imagine, this wasn’t met with enthusiasm. (I genuinely wasn’t trying to provoke, usually I’m the drunk so I have no idea how to communicate proficiently with drunk people, even though I am one - go figure - but I just said what was rational, or so I thought). We ended with him screaming at me and I, although loving my friend, said I simply can’t deal with this, and I would speak to him another time and hung up.

Upon reading this, I may seek as though I am judging, but I’m really not. I am horrified more because I realise just how often I’ve done all three of these things, and with alarmingly increasing regularity over the years. I wasn’t just one of those - I’ve been a combination of all three and years! At one point, I genuinely convinced myself that anybody who had a problem with my drunk behaviour needed to get a grip, I wasn’t that bad, oh everyone does silly drunks things. Being on the receiving end of less than tenth the horror i brought has truly sold me a HUGE lesson. I’m scared of being boring if I don’t drink? Man, there’s nothing more boring, and tiring, and downright loathe some than having to explain the same sentence over and over again, in answer to the same question, and still not be heard. Right now, I’m genuinely baffled.

Anyway, sorry to sound like a downer at NY, but, as you all know, the world don’t stop spinning for drunks!!

Happy new year again all!