So how do you explain why you're not drinking?
 

- So how do you explain why you're not drinking?
- I don't.

A relative asked me this question yesterday after we were coming back from a party. Five years into my sobriety, it occurred to me that I don't even bother coming up with excuses or explaining why I don't drink. I say "no thanks" and order or pour myself a non-alcoholic drink. If pressed or asked about it, I just say "I don't drink" and it hasn't once been an issue. Before I got sober, I remember being so worried how would I ever explain why I'm not drinking? Am I taking an antibiotic? Am I allergic? Not feeling well? On a cleanse? For religious reasons?? Drinking was such an overwhelming presence in my life I don't think it even occurred to me then that it was possible to shrink it to something I just don't do. I don't drink. No explanations necessary. I
also worried that becoming sober would have to be accompanied by cathartic confessions in real life. It doesn't have to. These are our personal private journeys, and we can all choose our own paths to becoming sober.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but maybe someone does. Best wishes to everyone in 2020!

It does not really come up. I think it would if I still associated with people that mainly focused on drinking. But I don't have friends like that anymore, and when I am in a group of "normal" people it is not really an issue. People ask if I want a glass of wine and I just say no. Nobody cares is my experience.

Here's a good explanation:

I am allergic to alcohol. When I drink I break out in handcuffs.

If someone were to press me for a reason I'm not drinking, I would just go into detail about exactly what happens inside your body when you ingest ethanol. Because pressing me for a specific reason is just as annoying as me preaching to people about why alcohol is bad for them :p.

But most normal drinkers or even heavy drinkers without alcoholism don't care how much I'm drinking. It's a non-issue.

It is good to bring that up from time to time Melki and it never does any harm to mention it to anyone new to recovery.

Like you I am 5 years sober and in my experience few people care whether someone is drinking or not.

I have noticed that with the increasing globalism and mixing of cultures added to rise of vegetarian and veganism, eaters are more likely to be quizzed than non drinkers.

IMO there is no need to justify the fact that you do not drink to anyone just as you would not justify not eating beetroot to anyone else.

I don't drink. Simple as that.

I’m pretty early in my sobriety so I haven’t been asked yet. It will get asked and I just don’t care. Better health and energy will be my answer.

over the holidays I went to a movie with people I did not know very well. they snuck in vodka.. they asked me why I do not drink, I said I cannot handle the headache in the morning. i just dont tolerate it anymore. no one pressed me.

I never have made an excuse, just like today at work everyone was talking about new years eve being tomorrow and my plans after work is to cook some good brats and wash the food down with either soda, tea, or lemonade and possibly shoot a few fireworks. Same thing for new years night, I'll be in the non drinking minority and I'm fine with that.

:)

I have always simply said, 'No thanks' and never offered an explanation. And, I've never been asked for an explanation. I believe we don't owe anyone an explanation as to why we drink or not. :)

I was so worried about this and I think that as a group, us addicts are pretty self-centered. OF COURSE everyone will notice that I'm not drinking and wonder what the heck is going on??? Of course, nobody has noticed. Nobody really cares. I was at a football get together yesterday and there was lots of drinking going on and everyone was rowdy and guess who noticed I was not drinking? Nobody.

I don't have any problem being honest and saying something like, "Alcohol and me don't get along, so I quit". There's a hundred ways to essentially say you're an alcoholic without saying anything specific. I've found people to be quite supportive of it and not question any further.

I just plainly state that I've drank enough up to the age of 42 that it no longer appeals to me. There is truth in that statement without blatantly coming out and stating I'm an alcoholic to work associates. I've drank way way past my lifetime quota if I was even a normal drinker.

No one has questioned me or batted an eye and I haven't been dramatic or proclaimed it.

I've regifted the bottles of wine I did have at Thanksgiving and find more and more that many don't drink or feel the compulsive and obsessive attachment to it as we all do/did.

My best friend found it shocking that I stopped, but then she drinks moderately and didn't know the degree to which I was killing myself.

It hasn't come up yet. I declined this evening and asked for water. Nobody asked. If someone does, I can honestly say that alcohol gives me GERD.

Someone posted a while ago. “It lost its appeal “. I use that a lot , it confuses people.

This was something I was pretty concerned with early on.

After a couple years, it was no longer an issue. People seldom ask me that anymore. If they do, I have a variety of answers that come to mind - depending on the person and the circumstance.

"Because I don't have time to go to jail tonight" - levity

"Drank up my quota before I turned 41" - matter-of-fact

"Because Alcohol caused me more trouble than it was worth" - truth

"I've been sober for 6 years and it's working out really, really well for me" - owning it and hopefully inspiring a person who might need it.

"Well... why is it that you ARE drinking?" - just for the hell of it when it feels right (said with a smile, and walking away).

"I only drink when there's enough booze. There's never enough booze". - (with a wry grin) - witty

And many more variations on those themes.

Sometimes, when it really seems the right moment..... for the right person... who may really need to hear it;

"Because I came to understand my life was unmanageable and I was an alcoholic. I found a way out and my life is immeasurably better than it ever was".

:grouphug:

During my first week of sobriety I was pushed by a relative to have a glass of wine. She was pretty insistent so I ended up explaining I had a problem with drink and will not be drinking again. Wasn't expecting to be pushed to drink. In future I will just tell people I don't drink and no further explanation.

All that is in the psyche of an addict. I dont wprry bout it . I just say I'm good. Soda is fine or whatever. That dont care they in the moment getting it in. Feel me. What I do is people watch. Pretty entertaining actually. But I do that after I check out the goodies to eat. Which most all the food is still there cause they want to booze first. Then munch maybe later. I will be the last man standing in any event. ✌

No explanation needed, tho I often say "I'm in recovery." Either no more discussion- or, pleasantly, many people have something in common with me, for themselves or a relative.

Making this a big deal is just counterproductive to peace in sobriety.