taplow

I don't know why I'm even saying this. I've got nothing. I'm at the end now. I wonder what's going to happen because I don't have the guts to kill myself so you don't have to say stuff about how I have to do this or that. I've nowhere to go. It's not even about drink. I can't see anyway to go now. Stuff happens and you realise that there's nothing there. There's no option. My last escape has gone. I don't expect anything, there's nothing useful I'm just speaking. I don't care anymore.

Railtek

It may end for yourself, but your closest will carry their and your pain for the rest of their lives.

A few months ago our family friends son had hanged himself in his room. Has parents, both in their 60's had to fly back to identify him , cremate him then proceed to clean out his house bit by bit. And they flew back one week later with just a little brick of ashes.

we checked in on them recently and they say that they wake up with drenched pillows without even knowing they are crying in their sleep. They have no other kids or grandkids, it's just them two now and a lifetime of questions.

Please think about what I wrote above and don't forget family is happiness.

Awake61

You came here and shared. Stay here and keep sharing.

Steely

Hi taplow.

What's happening? What do you mean, you're last escape has gone? . You have nothing?

Please let us know why you feel so despairing taplow. There is always a solution even if you are blind to it at the moment.

Talk to us taplow.

LilyLady1

Taplow, you say your last escape is gone and there is nothing left. Personally, I don't believe that is ever true. Sometimes it may look as if it's true. But no matter what has happened, there is help and support to be had. This is a wonderful community and there are links and suggestions for resources. Your escape and your help is out there--and in here.

D122y

I am definitely not qualified to offer any assistance other than beg you to call 911 and tell them you are beyond help.

Nobody deserves to feel like that, not even a murderer. A sin is a sin.

I try to take responsibility for my situation. Even if I am wrong, It seems to help.

If you have relapsed don't let that burden you additionally. That is a false burden. Just keep trying.

May God bless you to find contentment in your situation.

Thanks.

ScottFromWI

Drinking will make you feel that way Taplow, you had a pretty good outlook while you were sober. You can quit again if you want to, why not look back at your posts just last week before you started drinking again...you were doing very well.

I hope you can quit before things get way out of hand:

Dee74

Hi Tap

man, the difference between you sober and you drinking is like night and day.

Being sober doesn't solve all my problems - but it gives me a level playing field where I can work to try and fix whatever those problems are.

Put the bottle down Tap. Stop polluting your head with artificial misery.

People here care about you - and I think deep down you really do care too.

there a good decent kind person behind the user name who deserves a good life as much as anyone else here.

There is a future - grab it.

D

Delilah1

Hi Taplow,

I really hope you will go back and read some of your sober posts. I also think calling 911 is a good idea, if you go to the ER they will be able to keep you for a few days and that can help you with both detoxing and how you’re feeling emotionally. You are worth it, please make that call Taplow.

❤️ Delilah

Anna

Taplow, I'm sorry you feel so lost right now. But, I think that you could see things differently when you are sober. There is always hope. We're here for you.

faith823

Hi Taplow,

I can empathize with how you feel. I lost my fiance, got my own apartment, lost that , lost my job and have no car. Luckily my parents took me in after being on my own since 95 . I have been working professionally my whole life. 64 days ago while trembling, sick and low. I put down the drink. Things are slowly getting better. There were many days that turned into weeks I just posted here and went to a meeting. That was my only concern to get to a meeting. My mother had to drive me give me a dollar and wait in the car. Because I could not be trusted to stay sober. Things have changed for the better. Being alcohol free and physically feeling better with a clear mind has given me much hope.
I know you will feel better too. You will come back stronger and grateful. When you know how low rock bottom feels. Being elevated just a bit a day at a time feels good. I promise you it will get better if you stay sober. Just do the next right things and watch new things rebuild in your life.
Post here people care about you and your not alone.

Wastinglife

I have lost absolutely everything Taplow. Career is ruined, girl I was going to marry left, lost my car and driver's license, declared bankruptcy, evicted from my apartment, and was exiled from my family.

Outside of losing my life, I have nothing left to lose, literally. However, I have a sense of calm because I have no choice but to start over. We all are going to die eventually, no need to rush things with suicide or something.

Obladi

taplow, I don't know you at all, but I felt like I "recognized" you the first time I read one of your posts. And continued to see you whether you were drinking or sober. Pardon my presumptuousness; it's not meant that way at all.

It's meant to say I feel an affinity for you and I'm so sorry you feel this way. For me, it was a place of being beyond pain, even. Not sure what's worse - unbearable pain or simply not caring.

Please stop drinking.
Please keep talking.
I care about you.

xo
O

HeadEast

I hope you check in, taplow. We all care about you.

Surrendered19

Taplow, please stay with us. Broke, broken, bent down and prostrate. It sounds like you are rock bottom. If that is true, why not just raise your middle finger to the universe and try to fight back? Show that you cannot be beaten. Sometimes all that we can do is continue to walk this earth and that is what you should do. There are some moments of meaning in your future.

Hevyn

Please come back Taplow. We care - and you matter.

Sammy1980

Look up the web-site Excel at Life. When you open the web-site click on PsychAudios go down to assistance and look for Rational Thinking Improvement audio. Listen to this and I can bet you will feel better when it is finished playing.
When you listen it doesn't matter if you are sober or drinking just listen.

Outonthetiles

Tap, Dee nailed it. Re read some of your sober posts: funny, cosmopolitan, erudite, witty, literate, educated, and your drunky McDrunkface down in the dumps drunk posts: Jekyll and Hyde, no comparison. Whom would you rather be?

lessgravity

What's up Tap. Another person here pulling for you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Delilah1

Hi Taplow,

I’m thinking about you. Please check in and let us know how you’re doing, sending so much love your way.

❤️ Delilah