Honestly believe I was one week away from death
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
Just scared.
Not for the reason of wanting to drink. I’ve just read many threads of people swearing off drinking and then going back to it when they feel better.
I can honestly say my withdrawal symptoms are gone. I’ve found a new love for exercising. I’m even sleeping 7 hours straight at night without pills. Sweating, nausea, rapid heart, anxiety, shakes, etc are all gone. My energy is starting to come back to normal.
We even went out to eat last night at a bbq/craft beer spot. Honestly had ZERO desire to drink. This was the first time in a very long time that I was looking forward to the food more than the drinks.
I am SO happy right now but probably made the mistake of reading about many people relapsing. I just can’t picture myself going down that road again after seeing how beautiful life is without booze.
Can anyone relate?
Not for the reason of wanting to drink. I’ve just read many threads of people swearing off drinking and then going back to it when they feel better.
I can honestly say my withdrawal symptoms are gone. I’ve found a new love for exercising. I’m even sleeping 7 hours straight at night without pills. Sweating, nausea, rapid heart, anxiety, shakes, etc are all gone. My energy is starting to come back to normal.
We even went out to eat last night at a bbq/craft beer spot. Honestly had ZERO desire to drink. This was the first time in a very long time that I was looking forward to the food more than the drinks.
I am SO happy right now but probably made the mistake of reading about many people relapsing. I just can’t picture myself going down that road again after seeing how beautiful life is without booze.
Can anyone relate?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I am living in Day 32 sober and 33 days ago I was so sick I thought I was going to die. We don't drink anymore. We can't. People like us run out of chances. I am sitting here calm and clear headed and reading the newspaper. Let's hit the new decade of the 20's with some sober time under our belts. You never have to feel like that again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM 
Just scared.
Not for the reason of wanting to drink. I’ve just read many threads of people swearing off drinking and then going back to it when they feel better.
I can honestly say my withdrawal symptoms are gone. I’ve found a new love for exercising. I’m even sleeping 7 hours straight at night without pills. Sweating, nausea, rapid heart, anxiety, shakes, etc are all gone. My energy is starting to come back to normal.
We even went out to eat last night at a bbq/craft beer spot. Honestly had ZERO desire to drink. This was the first time in a very long time that I was looking forward to the food more than the drinks.
I am SO happy right now but probably made the mistake of reading about many people relapsing. I just can’t picture myself going down that road again after seeing how beautiful life is without booze.
Can anyone relate?
Not for the reason of wanting to drink. I’ve just read many threads of people swearing off drinking and then going back to it when they feel better.
I can honestly say my withdrawal symptoms are gone. I’ve found a new love for exercising. I’m even sleeping 7 hours straight at night without pills. Sweating, nausea, rapid heart, anxiety, shakes, etc are all gone. My energy is starting to come back to normal.
We even went out to eat last night at a bbq/craft beer spot. Honestly had ZERO desire to drink. This was the first time in a very long time that I was looking forward to the food more than the drinks.
I am SO happy right now but probably made the mistake of reading about many people relapsing. I just can’t picture myself going down that road again after seeing how beautiful life is without booze.
Can anyone relate?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,519
Vinny - I think it'll help you to be even more vigilant, having read about the relapses. I was sober once for 3 yrs. & went back out - I guess my heart wasn't in it, I was resentful & felt that I was missing out. When I finally did enough damage, I tried again to become sober. That's when I found SR. The encouragement, reminders, and friendship has helped me get and stay sober for 12 yrs. next month. It took. I think this will be you. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM
Just scared.
I am SO happy right now but probably made the mistake of reading about many people relapsing.
Can anyone relate?
I am SO happy right now but probably made the mistake of reading about many people relapsing.
Can anyone relate?
Knowledge is power. I don't think you made a mistake at all. Keep reading and learning from others experiences. At one point I too was so happy with my sober life yet I ended up drinking again. I got complacent and thought since I hadn't had a drink in over 3 months I must be able to control it. I couldn't.
Glad you're here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Hi Vinny
I nearly died as well.
I had several ministrokes during my last home detox.
I fought for my life.
This was 2007 but I can't say that I even really noticed the relapse threads here back then except to nod in empathy...the stories of folks relapsing but who kept coming back - that inspired me too.
But mainly, I was focused on the success stories because I really really did not want to die a drunk.
Some people relapse - many do not.
I'm now one of the do nots, and once I couldn't get past 3 days.
I know you're scared, but relapse is not mandatory
Give your recovery everything you've got and you'll get it all back - with interest
you can do this
D
I nearly died as well.
I had several ministrokes during my last home detox.
I fought for my life.
This was 2007 but I can't say that I even really noticed the relapse threads here back then except to nod in empathy...the stories of folks relapsing but who kept coming back - that inspired me too.
But mainly, I was focused on the success stories because I really really did not want to die a drunk.
Some people relapse - many do not.
I'm now one of the do nots, and once I couldn't get past 3 days.
I know you're scared, but relapse is not mandatory
Give your recovery everything you've got and you'll get it all back - with interest
you can do this
D
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM
Just scared.
Not for the reason of wanting to drink. I’ve just read many threads of people swearing off drinking and then going back to it when they feel better.
I can honestly say my withdrawal symptoms are gone. I’ve found a new love for exercising. I’m even sleeping 7 hours straight at night without pills. Sweating, nausea, rapid heart, anxiety, shakes, etc are all gone. My energy is starting to come back to normal.
We even went out to eat last night at a bbq/craft beer spot. Honestly had ZERO desire to drink. This was the first time in a very long time that I was looking forward to the food more than the drinks.
I am SO happy right now but probably made the mistake of reading about many people relapsing. I just can’t picture myself going down that road again after seeing how beautiful life is without booze.
Can anyone relate?
Not for the reason of wanting to drink. I’ve just read many threads of people swearing off drinking and then going back to it when they feel better.
I can honestly say my withdrawal symptoms are gone. I’ve found a new love for exercising. I’m even sleeping 7 hours straight at night without pills. Sweating, nausea, rapid heart, anxiety, shakes, etc are all gone. My energy is starting to come back to normal.
We even went out to eat last night at a bbq/craft beer spot. Honestly had ZERO desire to drink. This was the first time in a very long time that I was looking forward to the food more than the drinks.
I am SO happy right now but probably made the mistake of reading about many people relapsing. I just can’t picture myself going down that road again after seeing how beautiful life is without booze.
Can anyone relate?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
I agree, it's not bad to read about relapses. The human brain is a funny thing, and it doesn't always want what's best for it! Shame and fear would spook me into quitting for a while, or trying to cut down, but shame and fear (no matter how bad) always fades over time, so you can't count on just shame and fear to keep you sober. And as good as you feel when you first quit the "pink cloud" phase isn't permanent either, so you have to have something to bolster your sobriety when the novelty wears off.
But don't take that the wrong way! Relapses aren't part of recovery, they're part of addiction. You don't have to relapse, it's certainly not an inevitable part of recovery. Many times in the past, especially in my youth, I'd swear off drinking for a while- but I never seriously thought I was going to stop forever, just for a bit to recharge. Once I made the serious decision that I was never going to drink again and that I would never change my mind...well, I never have. So far I've been sober for seven years now.
You have to remain vigilant though. I understand that if I ever did drink again soon things would be even worse than when I initially stopped!
I was fortunate to have been able to stop when I did. If I throw my sobriety away now I might not be able to get it back again.
But don't take that the wrong way! Relapses aren't part of recovery, they're part of addiction. You don't have to relapse, it's certainly not an inevitable part of recovery. Many times in the past, especially in my youth, I'd swear off drinking for a while- but I never seriously thought I was going to stop forever, just for a bit to recharge. Once I made the serious decision that I was never going to drink again and that I would never change my mind...well, I never have. So far I've been sober for seven years now.
You have to remain vigilant though. I understand that if I ever did drink again soon things would be even worse than when I initially stopped!
I was fortunate to have been able to stop when I did. If I throw my sobriety away now I might not be able to get it back again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wethersfield, CT
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM
I knew I had a serious problem when I started working from home. Good money but I hated my job and began drinking all day (drinking til I passed out at noon and then drinking when I woke up and repeat). It was beer at that point.
I knew I had to stop but couldn’t get over the withdrawals. Beer didn’t work anymore. I switched to vodka. Pretty much straight.
I got a new job where nobody knew if I would go into work or not. So I didn’t. Some days I would drink an entire 1.75 and pretty much stopped eating and throwing up about 8 times a day. This went on for about 3 weeks but I got very good at hiding it.
December 17, 2019 at 4:02 a.m. I drove myself to the ER. Pulled over in the middle of the road and threw up again. Admitted myself with alcohol withdrawal and they took me back right away.
Blood pressure 193/126. Pulse of 176. Liver levels 10x normal.
They immediately put an iv in me and pumped me full of what seemed like 10 drugs I can’t even pronounce. I’ll never be sure of this but I believe I overheard them outside my door asking if they should have a defib close by.
I was sent home that day when heavy doses of Librium and bed rest. Hospitals have really advanced their treatment system with this.
I can’t even began to explain how much this experience has changed my life. I know it’s only a few days but these have been the best few days of my life! I’m already finding my passion for old hobbies and have even starting exercising. It’s going to be a long road but I’ve already gained something I haven’t had in 20 years: HOPE!!
If you’re still with me, the moral of my story is I would not be here if I finally didn’t open up to my loved ones about my addiction. Also, please seek medical attention. There are so my resources and people are not as judgemental as I thought.
Thanks for reading!
I knew I had to stop but couldn’t get over the withdrawals. Beer didn’t work anymore. I switched to vodka. Pretty much straight.
I got a new job where nobody knew if I would go into work or not. So I didn’t. Some days I would drink an entire 1.75 and pretty much stopped eating and throwing up about 8 times a day. This went on for about 3 weeks but I got very good at hiding it.
December 17, 2019 at 4:02 a.m. I drove myself to the ER. Pulled over in the middle of the road and threw up again. Admitted myself with alcohol withdrawal and they took me back right away.
Blood pressure 193/126. Pulse of 176. Liver levels 10x normal.
They immediately put an iv in me and pumped me full of what seemed like 10 drugs I can’t even pronounce. I’ll never be sure of this but I believe I overheard them outside my door asking if they should have a defib close by.
I was sent home that day when heavy doses of Librium and bed rest. Hospitals have really advanced their treatment system with this.
I can’t even began to explain how much this experience has changed my life. I know it’s only a few days but these have been the best few days of my life! I’m already finding my passion for old hobbies and have even starting exercising. It’s going to be a long road but I’ve already gained something I haven’t had in 20 years: HOPE!!
If you’re still with me, the moral of my story is I would not be here if I finally didn’t open up to my loved ones about my addiction. Also, please seek medical attention. There are so my resources and people are not as judgemental as I thought.
Thanks for reading!
WOW!!! So glad to hear how positive your days of sobriety have been! You have made it to the other side!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
I cant even believe it.
I usually pass out by 8:00 every night and then wake up every 3 hours. Last night I watched the entirety of my Bucks destroying the Pacers and then got 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Just got done with the doctor and my BP is down 25 points. Now I'm at the gym. Then im going christmas shopping. Didn't think I would be able to find the care to do that this year. Happy holidays everyone!
I usually pass out by 8:00 every night and then wake up every 3 hours. Last night I watched the entirety of my Bucks destroying the Pacers and then got 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Just got done with the doctor and my BP is down 25 points. Now I'm at the gym. Then im going christmas shopping. Didn't think I would be able to find the care to do that this year. Happy holidays everyone!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,700
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM
I knew I had a serious problem when I started working from home. Good money but I hated my job and began drinking all day (drinking til I passed out at noon and then drinking when I woke up and repeat). It was beer at that point.
I knew I had to stop but couldn’t get over the withdrawals. Beer didn’t work anymore. I switched to vodka. Pretty much straight.
I got a new job where nobody knew if I would go into work or not. So I didn’t. Some days I would drink an entire 1.75 and pretty much stopped eating and throwing up about 8 times a day. This went on for about 3 weeks but I got very good at hiding it.
December 17, 2019 at 4:02 a.m. I drove myself to the ER. Pulled over in the middle of the road and threw up again. Admitted myself with alcohol withdrawal and they took me back right away.
Blood pressure 193/126. Pulse of 176. Liver levels 10x normal.
They immediately put an iv in me and pumped me full of what seemed like 10 drugs I can’t even pronounce. I’ll never be sure of this but I believe I overheard them outside my door asking if they should have a defib close by.
I was sent home that day when heavy doses of Librium and bed rest. Hospitals have really advanced their treatment system with this.
I can’t even began to explain how much this experience has changed my life. I know it’s only a few days but these have been the best few days of my life! I’m already finding my passion for old hobbies and have even starting exercising. It’s going to be a long road but I’ve already gained something I haven’t had in 20 years: HOPE!!
If you’re still with me, the moral of my story is I would not be here if I finally didn’t open up to my loved ones about my addiction. Also, please seek medical attention. There are so my resources and people are not as judgemental as I thought.
Thanks for reading!
I knew I had to stop but couldn’t get over the withdrawals. Beer didn’t work anymore. I switched to vodka. Pretty much straight.
I got a new job where nobody knew if I would go into work or not. So I didn’t. Some days I would drink an entire 1.75 and pretty much stopped eating and throwing up about 8 times a day. This went on for about 3 weeks but I got very good at hiding it.
December 17, 2019 at 4:02 a.m. I drove myself to the ER. Pulled over in the middle of the road and threw up again. Admitted myself with alcohol withdrawal and they took me back right away.
Blood pressure 193/126. Pulse of 176. Liver levels 10x normal.
They immediately put an iv in me and pumped me full of what seemed like 10 drugs I can’t even pronounce. I’ll never be sure of this but I believe I overheard them outside my door asking if they should have a defib close by.
I was sent home that day when heavy doses of Librium and bed rest. Hospitals have really advanced their treatment system with this.
I can’t even began to explain how much this experience has changed my life. I know it’s only a few days but these have been the best few days of my life! I’m already finding my passion for old hobbies and have even starting exercising. It’s going to be a long road but I’ve already gained something I haven’t had in 20 years: HOPE!!
If you’re still with me, the moral of my story is I would not be here if I finally didn’t open up to my loved ones about my addiction. Also, please seek medical attention. There are so my resources and people are not as judgemental as I thought.
Thanks for reading!
When I detoxed in May after my last binge, I thought my heart would explode going through the withdrawals- a very frightening experience. Went back into Rehab again and was informed by a few different counselors that I was very lucky to survive it- totally blacked out for a solid 4- 5 days in total during the binge.
For me, it was the straw that broke the camels back. Had many months sober over the previous few years but thought I could deep in and out....WRONG! Sober 7.5 months now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,525
Good on you Reid.
And yes, I can relate to the fear of relapse Vinny. I was once 5 years sober and thought I could go out again. I couldn't.
I'm trying to "keep it in the day" Vinny. I just keep coming here. My plan will grow.
You sound absolutely fantastic. Really doing it. Hope your team won. You certainly did.
We can do hard things.
And yes, I can relate to the fear of relapse Vinny. I was once 5 years sober and thought I could go out again. I couldn't.
I'm trying to "keep it in the day" Vinny. I just keep coming here. My plan will grow.
You sound absolutely fantastic. Really doing it. Hope your team won. You certainly did.
We can do hard things.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 146
Hey Vinny, I know this post is a little older but I was reading it. If you don't mind me asking, how elevated were your liver enzymes when you checked in? Do you have any more objective numbers you can give out?
Thanks so much and appreciate your posts.
Thanks so much and appreciate your posts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
Originally Posted by JADIII
Hey Vinny, I know this post is a little older but I was reading it. If you don't mind me asking, how elevated were your liver enzymes when you checked in? Do you have any more objective numbers you can give out?
Thanks so much and appreciate your posts.
Thanks so much and appreciate your posts.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM
PM’ed you. If anyone else would like to know, just send me a message.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
Aww hell, I’ll just post the numbers since I really don’t have anything to hide anymore. Lucky for all of us, the liver is a tough little beast but with my initial numbers, I really can’t believe I’m still here. Two years ago, my liver numbers were perfect. It wasn’t until I went on my 6 month bender of the hard stuff until I saw these numbers. If this helps anyone that thinks it’s too late for your health, you are wrong. There is always time.
P.S. it probably didn’t help the cause that I went in with a buzz on.
December 17
ALK - 157
AST - 464
ALT - 324
BP - 193/126
Heart Rate - 176
December 23
ALK - 120
AST - 161
ALT - 227
BP - 150/96
Heart rate - 89
Today
BP -119/78
Heart rate - 69
Heart has stabilized but the liver is still elevated but there was a drastic improvement in 6 days. I have another appointment on January 12 and the doc says everything should be back to normal. He has seen my scenario before and I’m praying he is right.
P.S. it probably didn’t help the cause that I went in with a buzz on.
December 17
ALK - 157
AST - 464
ALT - 324
BP - 193/126
Heart Rate - 176
December 23
ALK - 120
AST - 161
ALT - 227
BP - 150/96
Heart rate - 89
Today
BP -119/78
Heart rate - 69
Heart has stabilized but the liver is still elevated but there was a drastic improvement in 6 days. I have another appointment on January 12 and the doc says everything should be back to normal. He has seen my scenario before and I’m praying he is right.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 231
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM
I really don’t even know what they mean besides my liver was working its butt off to try and filter all the booze.
Well done Vinny!! xx
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