ciowa

You've made a good decision to start on this path.

I've known quite a few people who have gotten sober without using any particular type of program or specific plan. Many of them end up getting involved with something or deepening their existing relationships which in turns gives them more motivation to stick with not drinking.

For me a plan was something I was introduced to in IOP but it was mostly to make a serious commitment to things I was already doing and learning how to deal with any types of cravings, emotions, experiences that were likely to tempt me to drink again. I also learned that a relapse can start with a event that leads to a thought/emotion that then leads to taking a drink. So having a plan for dealing with stuff like irritations, boredom etc (mindful, putting things in perspective, deep breathing etc) in life was helpful.

Also, having a sober plan for celebrating things in our lives was useful for me too. Being at a family reunion, seeing an old friend, hitting a big mark at work and stuff like that.

One thing that some people go through when stopping is they realize there was something that was triggering their drinking in the first place and that trigger will still be there. So finding out how to deal with it, if it be anxiety, depression, stress can be very important in maintaining sobriety and doing recovery work.

Stay strong and best wishes.

Kaboom123

My only plan was to not drink ever again. To fill up my free time I went back to doing all the things that drinking had pushed out of my life. Now I find that I wouldn’t have time to drink even if I wanted to. Too much life to live.

HeadEast

Likewise Mary, you have more of a plan than you think you do. This is a great start and you can modify it as necessary. Best wishes to you!

ScottFromWI

This is true - anyone can indeed achieve sobriety and there is no magic involved. There is however planning and effort required. As others have mentioned it does seem that you have several things planned even though you didn't realized it.

There are certainly organized sobriety programs that have very tangible "plans" - some involve meetings, others have pledges to take, some even have books associated. Some people use these, others do not.

And it's certainly true that you can choose to never drink again. Every time we drink ( or not ) we make a conscious choice - several of them actually. One of the things that a plan prepares you for is making the right choice when things get tough. For example, what if you run into an old friend you haven't seen for years over the holidays and they buy you a drink to celebrate seeing you again? Or what if you are at a holiday celebration and someone physically puts a class of champagne in your hand? Will you be ready to refuse the drink by simply using your willpower and decision that you will never drink again? That's where having a plan is key- how do you react in the heat of the moment? Obviously avoiding these types of situations in the first place might be part of any plan - but there will always be some temptation at some point. That's what people mean by having a plan - being ready, being prepared.

DriGuy

I didn't start with a plan. The day I quit, I had no idea if I would make it past my three day record. I just wanted to moderate, but I was not adverse to the idea of total sobriety either. Mostly, I just didn't see how it was possible not to drink on special occasions. My counselor was pushing me toward AA, and even told me she wouldn't talk to me anymore unless I went. So I went to AA, but still had no plan. On the first night, someone pointed out that AA advocated total abstinence rather than control, and since I wasn't adverse to that (I only thought it was impossible), I decided I would attempt quitting altogether. That was probably the first thing I ever did that resembled a plan. But beyond that I had no more plans at that time.

By attending meetings and reading all kinds of books on recovery, I began to pick up little tips on dealing with dangerous situations that I assumed would arise, and I incorporated these tips into what I guess would be a plan, but I didn't call it that. One tip from members in AA was what to do if you have to go someplace where people will be drinking? The answer that resonated was to have an per-determined escape route to get away if things felt like they are going south. I decided that would be a good thing to commit myself to in such situations. That was the second thing that became part of what I didn't call an actual plan, but as Anna just pointed out, was becoming an informal plan.

So all I did was cobble things together as I recognized they were necessary to stay sober. The whole process for me was rather informal, completely individual addressing my specific needs, and continually evolving as I go. Informal, yes, but it was something I did and still do with earnest seriousness. I think this or some kind of planning is helpful or even vital, but I'm not a big fan of prepackaged plans, because while they provide things to think about and consider, so much in them don't address my needs at all.

I actually don't think most people will find a plan that focuses on their specific issues in any book. Some will, of course, but most won't, and I believe that this claim is supported by the statistics reporting that most alcoholics who try to get sober, don't make it. Of course, there are other reasons besides not finding a workable plan. Recovery does take work, and demands commitment, and I think those things are more valuable than any recognized plan. There are probably other unrecognized reasons for not staying sober too.

A recovery plan to me is nothing more than what are you going to do to stay sober(?), and that's really what's important, because we all know there is an army of tests and challenges in front of us, not to mention that spy inside of us (our AV), who will try to sabotage our recovery from within.

Edit: By the way, after my counselor forced me to go to AA, where I started shaping my own future and finding my own way, I saw no reason to talk to her about my drinking, and I never saw her again, except for one time when I met her downtown and we chatted briefly.

ciowa

This is kind of the conclusion I came to as well. I can't plan for every conceivable trigger or stress event so I work on trying to rebuild my resilience and coping abilities in general. When I was younger, I used to have a good ability to bounce back from really hard things but I realized over time I started using booze as response to all manner of things in life so I had to reverse that and learn how to get back to living full on and embracing life, good and bad, with a clear mind.

Mary88

Thanks HeadEast I've now come up with a list of things to do if I get triggered. I suppose it might help in the future to have some sort of plan in place for emergencies.

shellatron

I think one of the biggest "plans" is to just remind yourself that you take one day at a time!

Abraham

While a plan sure cant hurt I did not really have a grand plan. Just not drink and continue to live my life. Everyone is different but I just read alot on here and educated myself. On top of wanting to quit for 10 years. I did not go to AA or counseling or anything. I just read up on this site and built my motivation and took on the challenge. Good for you for quitting. Now keep it going. The hard/est part should be over. I would at the very least keep coming here.

August252015

Ditto Dee as usual!!

And welcome all. In a nutshell, there is absolutely no reason to NOT have a plan! By that I mean, what's your NEW daily plan to spend your waking hours? What do you want to spend your time on instead of drinking? What do you need to fix or address that has been why you were drinking too much? And so on. Those are examples of PRACTICAL, LIFE plans.

I also feel very strongly that everyone needs a RECOVERY specific plan. Base it on SR- go to AA (to wit, that's my method and it was the LAST thing I wanted to do to say the least)- go to an addiction specialist/therapist- meditation - yoga for 12 step recovery- CBT/DBT workbooks for ways to change our thinking.....

Will power and hoping and positive thinking aren't solutions to a drinking problem.

Up to you and lots of people here and IRL who are very happy to support - and share how they did and do it. I found listening to people who had what I wanted (ie a life NOT controlled by alcoholic, to start with) and try what they suggested was a really good plan.

PhoenixJ

A plan is essential for me. Willpower just flatly did not work. Alcoholism is a physical and mental illness- for me that means getting professional advice on how to heal ME. Booze was a way of running away from the issues that made me drink. SR is a gamechanger for me-alone with other ways to get daily support and to heal. Support to you.

RecklessDrunk

I drank from early teens to early 40s with absolutely no belief that a life completely free of alcohol was possible for me. I had steady employment, I could give off the illusion, even to myself that my drinking was under control.

I had a very good friend that was a drug addict. I would venture into hard drugs sometimes when I drank. We were friends 25 years. At one point he spun out of control on drugs, losing everything. He got clean and jumped into religion. He stayed clean almost 10 years and we remained close friends. One of the best friends I will ever have. At the time he got clean I was pretty much agnostic. I didn't subscribe to all the Christian beliefs but when I saw the change in him I started to rethink this whole God thing. Even though I was using. I would sometimes go to a bible study with him but then drink once I got home.

My friend had a few bad breaks and started using again for a few years. I was using hard drugs more frequently but only when drinking. Eventually he decided to get sober again. He stayed clean for several months and then relapsed. He was alone at the time and overdosed and no one was there to revive him. They found him dead the next morning.

Several months later it came apart for me. I was arrested on felony drug and dwi charges. It looked like my career and life were over. I started to remember all that God stuff my friend talked about. How amazing his life got when he put trust in God and lived that kind of life. Maybe I can do that. Maybe my career is over (it wasn't) but I can find some kind of happiness if I just trust God and roll with the life he gives me. I didn't do the church thing but I re evaluated my relationship with God. Then my lawyer sent me to AA. I got a sponsor I worked the steps. I focused on one day at a time. Just worried about what was right in front of me. I didn't dwell on OMG I can never drink again. Even though I did all that AA stuff I kind of felt like I didn't really have a plan. God had the plan. I know AA is a plan but I really could only handle one day at a time. I wish I could explain how exactly how I took all that fear and anxiety and trusted in God. The I no longer care I will just deal with whatever happens type of thinking was kind of given to me, somehow. Maybe the fear and anxiety just got so out of control it just hit a wall.

Atlast9999

tekink

I developed my plan after a series of relapses.

I started taking notes of all the things that were major triggers and took those things out of my life.

The plan is what you fall back on to not take that first drink.

Jim1958

I think a journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step. You have taken that step, not to drink. Keep going, and develop your plan for times when you want to relapse. There are times when you will want a drink, and be prepared for that. For me, I think I just wanted to stop. Best wishes for your recovery.

Ginniver

Dee74

You can do this Ginniver

D

boreas

My FAVORITE place was curled up by the fire with a bottle and a book. I discovered (to my amazement!) that the same peace and solitude is much more satisfying without the booze. And I remember everything I read .

I hope that you find, as I did, that alcohol is not the cornerstone you think it is. It just takes a little time.
-bora

MelindaFlowers

Yep. June 26, 2014 got drunk with no thoughts of quitting. Woke up so hungover on June 27 I never took another drink. Not sure what was different about that hangover. I’d been hungover for seven years.

Just took it hour by hour, day by day. Only goal each day was don’t drink. Period. Spent many hours on here.

NessunDorma

Hi Ginniver

This really resonated. I finally stopped because I had to, the damage to my young family gave me the gift of desperation. In those days there were no forums like this, while I'd tried bits of counselling etc previously, I really had no conscious plan although sort of stumbled into one. I took up running, in part as an outlet for my neurotic/obsessive/addictive streak, in part as a sort of camoflage for declining drinks, as if my alcoholism wasn't obvious to all. It was around this time of year, I was going to tell people it was a New Years health kick, although I actually stopped just before Christmas. So why not have a look at all the great resources now available, can't hurt: and there are a bundle of things that will help.

ps highlights of the subsequent sober quarter of a century included representing England as a masters athlete and even better doing marathons/triathlons with my daughter, Who has grown up teetotal and very happy/successful, in some part helped by having had very different Dad role model than should would have done.

Best of luck in your half, and most of all in your sobriety,,,