faith823

After a few years of relapsing-

ME: Gosh this being Sober getting through the cravings, actually feeling the feelings, the guilt , sorrow and shame. Picking up all the pieces once again Sober.. This is hard, painful stuff to go through.

SPONSER: That is because you keep picking up alcohol and going through the most difficult, intense and painful part again and again.

ShiftHappens

Well I also think maybe you're picking up because you dont have the tools to deal with those painful feelings.

They keep coming back until they're dealt with.

Callas

I think not drinking is difficult for a variety of reasons. What we all have in common is that we are addicts. Psychologically though the reasons may differ. For me, to be honest, I simply miss the escapism of drinking, the fun, the chill, the easy socialising. If only it could stop there but it can not. The horrible health consequences cancel out the rest and more.

Anna

Yes, that's true. If you can find your way through the really hard parts, then things will get easier.

faith823

Exactly! Things are starting to get better for me. I do not want to return to that place. Just throwing that out there because I thought in the past that giving into drinking/craving/switch of feelings would be easier. In reality I was just reliving the hard part over and over again!!

DriGuy

I guess you could question your sponsor's reply, and it's an excellent conversation starter, but I think you sponsor nailed it. I've always felt that chronic relapsers never make it to recovery, and consequently, they don't get to experience the good stuff. Recovery is not a temporary vacation or time off from the grind. It's a permanent change. The very definition of "relapse" implies there has been no permanent change.

It is also possible that other factors like chemical imbalance prevent some from experiencing the good stuff, or there may be life circumstances that haven't changed.

It's complicated, and no single person has found the cure for everyone, and if anyone has, he has not been able to communicate this wisdom to everyone else. Recovery is deeply personal and often elusive. You need to find it on your own. A guide can help, but you must find the treasure on your own.