12 Step Counselling
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12 Step Counselling
Hi there.
Does anyone know of skype/online 12 Step counselling? Basically someone to take me through the steps.
I'm not managing and I'm not keeping focus, so I think having a more structured approach and making a commitment (financial and time) might really help me.
This is the most demoralising disease and I hate it, and myself, right now. I am not going to stop trying though. Thanks
Sorry - that's in the UK but I guess anywhere could be online.
Does anyone know of skype/online 12 Step counselling? Basically someone to take me through the steps.
I'm not managing and I'm not keeping focus, so I think having a more structured approach and making a commitment (financial and time) might really help me.
This is the most demoralising disease and I hate it, and myself, right now. I am not going to stop trying though. Thanks
Sorry - that's in the UK but I guess anywhere could be online.
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Why not your AA Sponsor? I recall a post where you had met your sponsor. Did something happen?
I thought working with a counsellor might be a better option. I was in counselling, which helped, but that ended last week.
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
I did meet someone, she was lovely. She needed me to commit to a meeting a day for 6 months. I didn't think I could do that, so she didn't feel she could sponsor me. I've asked a few more women but they have all said no.
I thought working with a counsellor might be a better option. I was in counselling, which helped, but that ended last week.
I thought working with a counsellor might be a better option. I was in counselling, which helped, but that ended last week.
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Originally Posted by cantsleep123
Is there a good reason why you can't make a meeting every day? Before you quit did you find time to drink every day? Not being snarky just echoing what I've been asked at meetings.
No, I've not been a daily drinker for 10 years. I'm stuck in a 3 month relapse cycle.
No offence though, but I would like to stick to my original question.
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
At the time, I didn't feel I could do it because I work full time, I don't drive and I spend a lot of time (including rest) to manage my mental health. I would have meant regular 12 hour days. I'm not sure now, maybe it would have been the right thing.
No, I've not been a daily drinker for 10 years. I'm stuck in a 3 month relapse cycle.
No offence though, but I would like to stick to my original question.
No, I've not been a daily drinker for 10 years. I'm stuck in a 3 month relapse cycle.
No offence though, but I would like to stick to my original question.
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Gabe, I don't know if there is such a thing as 12 step counselling, other than using a sponsor? Sometimes people do find online sponsors and some counsellors may incorporate the 12 steps in their therapy. Have you looked at the link below? At the top of the forum, there is a Step Study with a sub-forum for each step. That might help you:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-step-support/
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-step-support/
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
I thought working with a counsellor might be a better option. I was in counselling, which helped, but that ended last week.
~sb
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I can send you an online site where someone might be able to help you, if you want. Just private email me.
The best way to work AA is in person, but you don't need to commit to a daily meeting; commit to what you think you can manage today and in about 5 years from now (alcoholism sneaks back up on us, regular maintenance of some type is needed, in my experience)....I make it to 2 meetings weekly, sometimes up to 6 a week, but I keep that 2 going.......
Working the steps in person is the best, but do what you can!!!
I wish you well on your sober journey!
Love and hugs,
~SB
The best way to work AA is in person, but you don't need to commit to a daily meeting; commit to what you think you can manage today and in about 5 years from now (alcoholism sneaks back up on us, regular maintenance of some type is needed, in my experience)....I make it to 2 meetings weekly, sometimes up to 6 a week, but I keep that 2 going.......
Working the steps in person is the best, but do what you can!!!
I wish you well on your sober journey!
Love and hugs,
~SB
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Hi Gabe, sorry you are struggling 
. I did not do AA. One of the first things I did was to start seeing a therapist. I didn’t know it at first, but found out my therapist was also recovered/in recovery and had a lot of sober years in. He was trained in addiction and alcoholism recovery specifically and followed twelve steps. . It helped me so much. I went once a week for a year. Occasionally I still go. In fact I am going next week over issues unrelated to alcohol/addiction.
I also read lots of books on recovery and twelve steps and still try to practice this even though I never did AA. I love Russell Brands book and I also like One Breath at a Time
I know I’m getting away from your original question but I hope it still helps a little.
Don’t ever give up!
. I did not do AA. One of the first things I did was to start seeing a therapist. I didn’t know it at first, but found out my therapist was also recovered/in recovery and had a lot of sober years in. He was trained in addiction and alcoholism recovery specifically and followed twelve steps. . It helped me so much. I went once a week for a year. Occasionally I still go. In fact I am going next week over issues unrelated to alcohol/addiction. I also read lots of books on recovery and twelve steps and still try to practice this even though I never did AA. I love Russell Brands book and I also like One Breath at a Time
I know I’m getting away from your original question but I hope it still helps a little.
Don’t ever give up!
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Originally Posted by Anna
Gabe, I don't know if there is such a thing as 12 step counselling, other than using a sponsor? Sometimes people do find online sponsors and some counsellors may incorporate the 12 steps in their therapy. Have you looked at the link below? At the top of the forum, there is a Step Study with a sub-forum for each step. That might help you:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-step-support/
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-step-support/
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
If the counseling worked, perhaps you could extend your sessions? There are certainly counselors that specialize in addiction and some even in 12-step methods. My therapist is one of them - and even though I am not an AA member/follower we do discuss the concepts from time to time.
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1
I can send you an online site where someone might be able to help you, if you want. Just private email me.
The best way to work AA is in person, but you don't need to commit to a daily meeting; commit to what you think you can manage today and in about 5 years from now (alcoholism sneaks back up on us, regular maintenance of some type is needed, in my experience)....I make it to 2 meetings weekly, sometimes up to 6 a week, but I keep that 2 going.......
Working the steps in person is the best, but do what you can!!!
I wish you well on your sober journey!
Love and hugs,
~SB
The best way to work AA is in person, but you don't need to commit to a daily meeting; commit to what you think you can manage today and in about 5 years from now (alcoholism sneaks back up on us, regular maintenance of some type is needed, in my experience)....I make it to 2 meetings weekly, sometimes up to 6 a week, but I keep that 2 going.......
Working the steps in person is the best, but do what you can!!!
I wish you well on your sober journey!
Love and hugs,
~SB
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Originally Posted by Fearlessat50
Hi Gabe, sorry you are struggling . I did not do AA. One of the first things I did was to start seeing a therapist. I didn’t know it at first, but found out my therapist was also recovered/in recovery and had a lot of sober years in. He was trained in addiction and alcoholism recovery specifically and followed twelve steps. . It helped me so much. I went once a week for a year. Occasionally I still go. In fact I am going next week over issues unrelated to alcohol/addiction.
I also read lots of books on recovery and twelve steps and still try to practice this even though I never did AA. I love Russell Brands book and I also like One Breath at a Time
I know I’m getting away from your original question but I hope it still helps a little.
Don’t ever give up!
. I did not do AA. One of the first things I did was to start seeing a therapist. I didn’t know it at first, but found out my therapist was also recovered/in recovery and had a lot of sober years in. He was trained in addiction and alcoholism recovery specifically and followed twelve steps. . It helped me so much. I went once a week for a year. Occasionally I still go. In fact I am going next week over issues unrelated to alcohol/addiction.I also read lots of books on recovery and twelve steps and still try to practice this even though I never did AA. I love Russell Brands book and I also like One Breath at a Time
I know I’m getting away from your original question but I hope it still helps a little.
Don’t ever give up!
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,164
Gabe,
The steps are about sorting out your life. Therapy is about sorting out your life. In my experience, therapy takes you much farther than the steps. You may or may not need that much help. Therapy may or may not involve religion. But there are religious counselors. A good counselor will follow you where you want to go. If you wanted to deepen your commitment to some higher power, he/she would probably explore that with you.
Trained counselors in AA are rare. The program draws it's strength from regular people who are trying to overcome their addiction. Therefore, there is no way to know if one sponsor is more qualified to help you do the steps than another. Presumably, a counselor has experience, but I don't think that qualifies him/her as an expert. A good sponsor would be one with whom you could discuss your progress on the steps, or problems with a step, or simply your thoughts on the steps; Thoughts like what each step means to you would be important.
However you do this recovery thing is up to you, but to be successful it will require making changes in the way you approach your life. You can't expect to keep doing what you were doing when you were drinking. This has got to change. It's possible that your first potential sponsor bailed when she perceived you were not serious enough about recovery to make commitments (commitments are changes). A commitment is putting something in your life that wasn't there before. She may have thought your resistance to committing to meetings was simply resistance to committing to anything. She may have thought you weren't ready for the big stuff that is in front of you.
Personally, I think a trained therapist is better than a sponsor, but this can get expensive, but then so can rehab. It was nice being able to get over the hump in AA at a dollar a day. You seldom find that cheap of a service today. Maybe you need more. You be the judge.
The steps are about sorting out your life. Therapy is about sorting out your life. In my experience, therapy takes you much farther than the steps. You may or may not need that much help. Therapy may or may not involve religion. But there are religious counselors. A good counselor will follow you where you want to go. If you wanted to deepen your commitment to some higher power, he/she would probably explore that with you.
Trained counselors in AA are rare. The program draws it's strength from regular people who are trying to overcome their addiction. Therefore, there is no way to know if one sponsor is more qualified to help you do the steps than another. Presumably, a counselor has experience, but I don't think that qualifies him/her as an expert. A good sponsor would be one with whom you could discuss your progress on the steps, or problems with a step, or simply your thoughts on the steps; Thoughts like what each step means to you would be important.
However you do this recovery thing is up to you, but to be successful it will require making changes in the way you approach your life. You can't expect to keep doing what you were doing when you were drinking. This has got to change. It's possible that your first potential sponsor bailed when she perceived you were not serious enough about recovery to make commitments (commitments are changes). A commitment is putting something in your life that wasn't there before. She may have thought your resistance to committing to meetings was simply resistance to committing to anything. She may have thought you weren't ready for the big stuff that is in front of you.
Personally, I think a trained therapist is better than a sponsor, but this can get expensive, but then so can rehab. It was nice being able to get over the hump in AA at a dollar a day. You seldom find that cheap of a service today. Maybe you need more. You be the judge.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
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I imagine most counsellors could at least discuss certain aspects of the steps with you.
What I would suggest is reading the big book and doing the steps yourself. They’re not complicated and just require total honesty. Then just do your step 5 with somebody you trust like a counsellor potentially. Sorted.
What I would suggest is reading the big book and doing the steps yourself. They’re not complicated and just require total honesty. Then just do your step 5 with somebody you trust like a counsellor potentially. Sorted.
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
Thanks Anna. I'll have a good look. I need more in my plan. All the self-loathing and negative feelings are making sustaining this almost impossible. I need to change what's happening inside me.
Perhaps the 12 step study on our forum will help you with these efforts.
You may also want to visit the Alcoholism - 12 Step Support forum on this site that Anna mentioned.
I would certainly continue to try to find and work with a sponsor.
Not everyone can accommodate the commitment that being a sponsor entails.
But keep trying and I'm confident you will find someone.
I have been working the 12 Steps since I was a fairly young man, and I haven't had a drink since I began doing so.
I find them indispensable to my sobriety.
Please keep us posted - it's really a treat to have people like yourself, who are earnestly seeking recovery, on this forum.
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Originally Posted by DriGuy
Gabe,
The steps are about sorting out your life. Therapy is about sorting out your life. In my experience, therapy takes you much farther than the steps. You may or may not need that much help. Therapy may or may not involve religion. But there are religious counselors. A good counselor will follow you where you want to go. If you wanted to deepen your commitment to some higher power, he/she would probably explore that with you.
Trained counselors in AA are rare. The program draws it's strength from regular people who are trying to overcome their addiction. Therefore, there is no way to know if one sponsor is more qualified to help you do the steps than another. Presumably, a counselor has experience, but I don't think that qualifies him/her as an expert. A good sponsor would be one with whom you could discuss your progress on the steps, or problems with a step, or simply your thoughts on the steps; Thoughts like what each step means to you would be important.
However you do this recovery thing is up to you, but to be successful it will require making changes in the way you approach your life. You can't expect to keep doing what you were doing when you were drinking. This has got to change. It's possible that your first potential sponsor bailed when she perceived you were not serious enough about recovery to make commitments (commitments are changes). A commitment is putting something in your life that wasn't there before. She may have thought your resistance to committing to meetings was simply resistance to committing to anything. She may have thought you weren't ready for the big stuff that is in front of you.
Personally, I think a trained therapist is better than a sponsor, but this can get expensive, but then so can rehab. It was nice being able to get over the hump in AA at a dollar a day. You seldom find that cheap of a service today. Maybe you need more. You be the judge.
The steps are about sorting out your life. Therapy is about sorting out your life. In my experience, therapy takes you much farther than the steps. You may or may not need that much help. Therapy may or may not involve religion. But there are religious counselors. A good counselor will follow you where you want to go. If you wanted to deepen your commitment to some higher power, he/she would probably explore that with you.
Trained counselors in AA are rare. The program draws it's strength from regular people who are trying to overcome their addiction. Therefore, there is no way to know if one sponsor is more qualified to help you do the steps than another. Presumably, a counselor has experience, but I don't think that qualifies him/her as an expert. A good sponsor would be one with whom you could discuss your progress on the steps, or problems with a step, or simply your thoughts on the steps; Thoughts like what each step means to you would be important.
However you do this recovery thing is up to you, but to be successful it will require making changes in the way you approach your life. You can't expect to keep doing what you were doing when you were drinking. This has got to change. It's possible that your first potential sponsor bailed when she perceived you were not serious enough about recovery to make commitments (commitments are changes). A commitment is putting something in your life that wasn't there before. She may have thought your resistance to committing to meetings was simply resistance to committing to anything. She may have thought you weren't ready for the big stuff that is in front of you.
Personally, I think a trained therapist is better than a sponsor, but this can get expensive, but then so can rehab. It was nice being able to get over the hump in AA at a dollar a day. You seldom find that cheap of a service today. Maybe you need more. You be the judge.
Maybe it is commitment. I'm certain its there at the beginning but around 10 weeks I have a complete mental shift. I know it, I can feel it and I still didn't do enough to change it. Self-sabotage.
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Originally Posted by brighterday1234
I imagine most counsellors could at least discuss certain aspects of the steps with you.
What I would suggest is reading the big book and doing the steps yourself. They’re not complicated and just require total honesty. Then just do your step 5 with somebody you trust like a counsellor potentially. Sorted.
What I would suggest is reading the big book and doing the steps yourself. They’re not complicated and just require total honesty. Then just do your step 5 with somebody you trust like a counsellor potentially. Sorted.
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