SweatyHands

Yeah, on the way to the hospital, I was thinking that it might be too late for them to do anything to help me, and when I walked out of there under my own power, I knew it was my last second chance. I’ll do anything I have to in order to never get to that place again.

Callas

Wow, hectic story. Well done for getting through. Just a question, why the Keto diet? Would a lot of fruit etc not be better?

brighterday1234

SweatyHands

My body does not tolerate carbs at all. I have severe joint pain and digestive issues from carbohydrates. I actually was the healthiest when I was on a strict carnivore diet, but I get tired of steak, eggs and water after 5-6 weeks.

SweatyHands

Small wins can be really big wins in recovery. I spent 10 hours driving today, only to arrive at my hotel and discover that they messed up my reservation. Once I finally got a room, no one was answering for room service, and everything near the hotel was closed. I also needed to upload final grades for my students, and the hotel’s wifi network wouldn’t let me sign in. So, recognizing that I was getting to the point of stress where self pity and resentment were about to rear their heads, I took a time out. I came back to the computer issue later and was able to get online (obviously) so my grades are all in. Now I’m having a cup of tea and looking forward to getting up early and finding breakfast somewhere. In the grand scheme of things, these are not real problems—at least not real enough to drink over.

SweatyHands

Hey folks, sorry I haven’t been checking in. I’m still sober and doing great. This week is the first time my wife has been out of town since my relapse, so I reached out to my friends to check on me. I know that when I get to that place where a drink sounds like a good idea, I don’t want to reach out, so this takes the option of isolating off of the table for me. I’ve not had any cravings since my last relapse, and only the occasional thoughts of “what would have to happen for me to want to pick up.”

I have two more nights before my wife gets back, so I’m making dinner plans for tonight and tomorrow night to stay in contact with sober friends. I feel safe, but I’m staying vigilant.

And I’m already looking forward to another night going to bed sober.

Tetrax

Well done dude, keep it up

ciowa

Good morning. Dealing with stress has been the key to my recovery. I used to be known as someone who was good at dealing with stressful situations and "keeping my cool". My job can be pretty stressful but I like what i do.

Im not sure exactly when this happened but probably about 5 years ago, my social drinking somehow began to become a "stress reliever" for me. Eventually, I came to rely almost solely on alcohol to calm my nerves. As my binge drinking increased so did my stress level, which led me to drinking more to relieve the stress. So it was a cycle that I didn't recognize. Even little things set me off and I felt like I held in my emotions and only let myself try to process things once I had a few drinks in me. Of course, I didn't solve anything by doing this and made things worse.

Now, I've been working a lot on rebuilding my resiliency by using different recovery tools but also going back to what used to work for me in the past before I started to rely on alcohol. And its working. I can deal with the world again and my job is enjoyable again.

Thanks for the reminder and hang in there.

Dee74

That's a great update SH - well done!

Hevyn

It's so good to know you're doing well, SH. Be proud.

AwkwardKitty

Gosh I just read your story and my heart was in my mouth wondering if your update was going to be still sober. I'm so glad you are, you sound like you've really embraced that last chance you were given.
From my point of view, thank you for sharing. That's never happened to me but it doesnt take a great leap from where I was to see myself there. It's really reminded me why I'm doing this.

Surrendered19

So glad you checked in. I have thought about you more than once and hoped you were on your healthy path, and it appears you indeed are. That is amazing what you came back from. So inspiring.

SweatyHands

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I am aware that I have taken on too much professionally after recovering from that relapse, and that is a potentially threatening situation to my recovery. I’m in the process of rearranging my schedule so that I can give up one of my jobs, which will help me a lot. But I’ve also started working on delegating so that I’m not working 10-12 hour days, and I’ve been asking for help when I need it. It was very important for me to acknowledge that I asked for help much sooner that I have in the past with my November relapse. And I’m building on that by asking for help before I get in trouble. And, I know that sleep deprivation can be a trigger for me, so I’ve been prioritizing keeping a regular sleep schedule. And my most recent protective behavior was cutting myself off. I had a sober friend come with me to the two liquor stores by my house so that I could tell them that I’m in recovery, and not to ever sell me alcohol. It was actually surprisingly easy for me to be in the liquor store knowing that I was going to set myself up to never go in there again. So, all in all, things are looking up.

MLD51

Glad to hear you are doing well, SH, and I congratulate you for recognizing that reducing stress in your life is a key to your continued recovery. It sounds like you are taking good steps to achieve a better balance. I had to do some pretty serious thinking about how my whole life was set up when I was in early recovery, and made a lot of changes in order to give myself a fighting chance. I'm over 5 years sober now. Almost never have thoughts of drinking.

Your story stuck with me back in December when you posted. I never got to the point you got to, but I sure could have, and I will never forget that, as long as I live. I got close enough several times - I figure I was using up my second chances and good luck pretty fast toward the end of my drinking. I'll never play that dangerous game again. I actually value my life now (I didn't in the past).

ThatWasTheOldMe

I dont even know what to say to .556 and still showing signs of withdrawal. Thank you for sharing this. I won't be relapsing this time. Time to do everything it takes.

SweatyHands

I don’t know what to say about my BAC either. But, it is undeniable evidence that taking another drink will kill me, so there is no grey area for me anymore when my AV starts yapping in my ear. And now I can confidently say that there is nothing enjoyable about drinking anymore, so I know that even when I hit a rough patch in my life, taking a drink will only make it worse. If that’s what it takes for me to never pick up again, so be it. And, the withdrawal management facility I went to was unpleasant enough for me to do anything I have to do to never sleep on one of those vinyl mattresses ever again.

I actually woke up about 4:00 in the morning with racing thoughts and shame about bad places I’ve been with alcohol. But I was able to very quickly remember that I have the power to never go there again. I spent about 10 minutes checking in with my body to feel how good sobriety feels, and then I was right back to sleep. It’s reassuring to see that even when my AV tries to savotage me, my nervous system can tell me the truth to keep me sane and sober. I’ll take uncomfortable sobriety over chemical relaxation any day.

comtnman740

Wow! So glad you made it through that horrific ordeal. Withdrawing is not fun! Try to use this experience to your advantage the next time you feel like picking up a drink. Think through the drink. I had intense depression, shakes and severe withdrawal for days after i drank. It was horrible and i try to learn that a drink will never make anything better. Good luck and God Bless!