Steely

Those 6 months aren't down the drain Toughroad. You would have learned a lot.

On the road we travel, knapsack on our backs carrying all the tools we need to reach that place we have sought so long.

This time is REAL for me Toughroad.

D122y

When I used to have a couple of drinks I would feel drunk and if i was in public i would have to pretend that I was feeling sober.

After about 20 minutes I would get sleepy from the booze and have to act like I was great.

I would wait impatiently to get home so,i,could get really wasted.

i got euphoria from booze up until my last day drinking, but now that I know about addiction, I don't want to alter my natural euphoric abilities ever again.

It is a wonderful thing to be naturally happy vs dependent on booze for happiness.

For me, the brain damage I suffered from drinking was the deal sealer. I had to change or suffer ever increasing mental anguish. Insanity was the end game and it wasn't/isn't that far away.

Not on this watch.

Thanks.

gypsytears

Hi & welcome back steely.

Steely

Seems my 'thanks' button is not working.

Bit of trouble logging back in. Trying this to see if this 'test' will get me up and running again.

Steely

Same for me DI22y. Pretending to be having 'fun'. Pretending to be 'sober'. Yeah right! Good impersonation, as I fall off the stool.

Always enjoy your posts DI22y. Honest.

The brain damage cannot be ignored nor denied. Hope I've scraped out alive. Time is no longer on my side.

Thank you too Gypsytears.

I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone too.

Gawd. I'm 1 Day sober and have become a serial poster. Need it at the moment.

Tonight my head is hitting the pillow sober. Relief.

gypsytears

Are you on your phone? I think you have to be using the desktop version to use the thanks .

Steely

I'm using iPad, gypsy. Seem to be up and running again.

Even things like a 'thank you' button not working fills me with trepidation and anxiety.

Don't want to live like that ever again. I want peace.

wiscsober

So true Steely and Toughroad….I've been there also, many times. Take what's been learned and experienced and continue on the journey. We can do this together.

wiscsober

let's remember the sober times more too....

Steely

Yes, wiscsober, the sober times hold much better memories.

Entering Day 2 today. My Plans are not very well developed outside of cleaning up my flat and having a new bed base and microwave delivered.

Remembering the sober times can also be part of the Plan.
Probably the most important. Just don't drink.

Woke this morning to the sound of my own voice uttering loving words to my now adult children as though they were still babies. It was lovely.

Hope you are feeling good about yourself too toughroad. These are the earliest of days, but are the foundations for our new found and fought for freedom.

gypsytears

That’s the most important thing. That allows the sweet talking to your children to happen. Oh a new bed, microwave and clean place are nice too .

kenton

Steely!!! I'm so happy to see you here again. Best Christmas present ever. I've thought about you so often and I'm so happy that you're here. I mean it, I missed you so much. Felt a bit emotional when I saw your name and avatar and yelled out, 'Steely's back!' So happy xxx

Zebra1275

Welcome Back!