Hoplesstap2019

Also, I guess you believe I must be lying about these things happening?

Hoplesstap2019

I wont argue this, I'm new here . But thanks for all the kind messages

Surrendered19

I absolutely don't think you are lying Tracey. I just think your perceptions might be not completely accurate and I think you are too focused on others. I really think you should take some really simple steps on your own and see what happens. You don't have anything to lose. I apologize for my observations and I don't want to be another person on the list of reasons you keep using. I want you to stay here and keep posting and telling us what concrete steps you are taking on your own to help yourself. If I am hurting you I will cease and desist.

Dee74

I think what surrendered is saying is you need to focus on what you're going to do to stay clean and sober now.

Going over and over the past is human but it won;t change any of the outcomes and it won't help you much to stay clean and sober now.

Focus on the things, and people, who can help you right now

With a little sober time, I think you'll be more ready and able to deal with whatever or whoever disappointed you in the past?

D

Hoplesstap2019

"I never complained to her did what she said, just not sure waiting 3 or 4 days for reply is helpful 9"

Hoplesstap2019

To be clear , I was trying to share things that have happened and make it hard for me to understand how things will move forward in AA . I have been alcoholic since 18, I know it and that is why I struggle. Never have I had a list of people to blame. This is maybe why sharing is hard, because nothing was given in response to anything I shared. You perceived snd decided. I can choose not to focus on other things but as I explained, I receive phone calls paperwork every week and my lawyer expects I deal with these things. My father is dying so i do need to focus on him too. I really dont sprnd all my time focusing on A,A, and I explained in other posts, you just did not respond to these issues.

Hoplesstap2019

Anyway, I think my sharing is over, and frankly will never agsin. So I will go this is ur plsace

Dee74

I'm sorry if some of these posts have come of as attacks to you. I'm sure that was not the intent. Its definitely not the intent as far as I'm concerned.

This is your place too - if we're not helping tell us how we can help

D

HeadEast

Yes, what Dee said. This is your place also!!! I can't comment on anything because I have never been to AA. You have a lot going on in your life and I hope you can use this site to help you.

Hoplesstap2019

i thought you were a site administrator I see not. Do you go to AA ? I assume ur new to it if so. You should reread my posts and will see for example

" You disappoint others. They disappoint you. And there are not enough of them at any rate. Might as well use."

never anywhere did I say that's why I used, was hoping for feedback

Hoplesstap2019

[QUOTE=Hoplesstap2019;7334812]i thought you were a site administrator I see not. Do you go to AA ? I assume ur new to it if so. You should reread my posts and will see for example

" You disappoint others. They disappoint you. And there are not enough of them at any rate. Might as well use."

never anywhere did I say that's why I used, was hoping for constructive , helpful feedback. You now very little about me so not sure you should be drawing such conclusions at this point. Anyway , thks for trying.

Hoplesstap2019

attackes is not the word I would use, sounds sbit aggressive

Surrendered19

Tracey, I hope you are still here and posting and supporting others. I'm sure folks could benefit from your take on their situations. You have so much experience in this thing we are all trying to beat. If you have read others' posts and given them your wisdom, I thank you for that. I am certain that you have. Peace.

HeadEast

I agree with Surrendered. As I said before, I have never been to AA. But having a sponsor that wants to communicate by text message is just plain wrong.

Dee74

Aggression was certainly not my intent

D

Hoplesstap2019

just going by the words you used, i will close my profile. I have resd other posts and the word healing was used. Take time heal from the past and it will be easier to move forward, definitely wasn't the message i received.

Dee74

Hi Tracey - I'm a bit confused.

Are you confusing my posts with someone elses?
I know you thought surrended was an Admin.

It looked to me like you felt you were being attacked by other people here - like maybe you were being accused of lying etc

Thats when I stepped in - I'm an Administrator here.

If thats not the case that's fine - but no reason to close your account

Dee
Administrator
SR

Hoplesstap2019

'absolutely don't think you are lying Tracey. I just think your perceptions might be not completely accurate' so i am not lying , i am not accurate. Dont know to msny alcoholics with goid perception.
You also suggested i take a few simple steps on my own. This was my first post here, i don't believe i have given anyone enough information sbout me or the last 31 yrs of drinking, to suggest i that i havent already taken steps on my own. And u did say on mu own , so does that mean i shouldnt be looking for supports
if you reread your posts there were alot of " i thinks" , you never answered "Are you actively in AA" i would assume yes because the words you used where " that isn't how they roll". In my posts i talked about other things in my life going on, my dad is not well, my aunt who passed away, struggles i am having to get some kind of income. Ot once did u acknowledge or offer advice about working thru this things ( which has to happen) thiese are not ssues from 5 or 10 yrs ago. They are part of my life now. I will not be back , i zm sure you didn't intend this but msybe reread ur posts. Pretty sure you coukd have approached differently, so.at least i felt like i had a right to feel these things and ask.for support while doinh thst. I don't kniw you at all so to suggest ur on this list of people who wronged me,( and remember this list was ur creation) maybe u hsve a list but i will deal with my people on the 4th step. I am done with this

i

Ladysadie

Tracey - so sorry you are feeling let down by SR. You posted originally that you are using crystal meth, had just purchased a quantity (and are not a "flusher"). I shared about my daughter's use of meth here so I am familiar with the drug although no first hand experience. I did know when she was using as she would cycle into what I called Stinkin' Thinkin'. Please do yourself a favor and allow yourself to get clean, get off the drugs and I daresay your body and mind will begin to heal. It will improve all aspects of your life. You say you have used since you were 18 and are now 49. Thirty years .... isn't it time to experience the gift of sobriety? You are the only one that can change this. Please get help, get into treatment. It would be the greatest gift you can give yourself. I hope you continue to use SR if only to lurk and not sign on. The stories of recovery are inspirational, I have read every single one of them. Please don't give up on yourself.

Hoplesstap2019

You replied a few times within this post, i assuned you were participating in conversation.