Class of December 2019 part 2
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,695
Red, I think you are doing AMAZINGLY well under the circumstances, keep up the good work! Re the weather I just keep reminding myself its hot enough without drinking and the resulting dehydration! Juice is my new best friend 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,278
Originally Posted by Zura 
Congratulations NicLin that is awesome 
. Oh i see your an Eckhart Tolle fan, he is my guru. I watch his videos alot and im currently reading The Power of Now and have A New Earth and another of is books waiting for me.
. Oh i see your an Eckhart Tolle fan, he is my guru. I watch his videos alot and im currently reading The Power of Now and have A New Earth and another of is books waiting for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 23
Just checking in. I don’t have much to say other than things I’ve probably scribbled down many times before. I know that I have woken up this morning feeling a genuine love for life and an alertness that alcohol suppresses to the point of genuine depression and a sense of utter hopelessness. It would be so easy to let my guard down and convince myself that I would never drink again at the realisation of this fact but that would be to trigger a relapse, if not now, but in the future. This is the trigger that tells you that you’re ‘normal’ and that ‘of course you can drink like everyone else! - Why would you ever go back to drinking THREE to FOUR bottles of wine EVERY night?’ Well.... if I pick up a drink again then within one week that will be exactly where I will be. And it will be that way for at least two to four months...
One of my truths was I drank to escape. To escape from pain, grief, anxiety, expectation, pressure and myself. Drinking made it worse. This ‘medicine’ wasn’t only hard to take; and nasty to drink (I don’t even like the taste of wine anymore - how about THAT???) - but it was also self defeating. It made my symptoms worse.
Another one of my truths is that I drank because I got bored. Well, I got bored because I am boring. That’s not me being self effacing. It’s a reality. There is nothing stopping me running, reading, weight lifting, dining, climbing, knitting(!), painting, visiting, socialising etc. instead of just sitting in my study drinking for six to eight hours... on my own.... EVERY night.
In the mornings I sit by candlelight as my wife and pooch sleep upstairs in silence (we live in the country in the middle of the UK in a smallish village). It’s a good time to reflect on my life (I’ve not long turned 50 years old) and I watch the candles flickering and it’s a useful visual simile of life. As the candle burns down morning by morning then so does my time on this planet. It really hits home when every day in the news you see that such and such died aged 61 or whoever famous passed away aged 72... and you think ‘maybe not THAT long left sunshine - how you going to make the best of it?’
I try to remind myself that I won the sperm lottery every day (when I’m sober at least). It was millions to one my little sperm won the race to the egg. It was then millions to one I was born into a nice family. It was then millions to one I was born in a good country. It was then millions to one I was born with a decent brain. It was then millions to one I was born in good health. In other words MY existence is trillions to one in terms of amazing good luck. It’s about time I started to be grateful and act accordingly then.
Over and out.
JT
Just checking in. I don’t have much to say other than things I’ve probably scribbled down many times before. I know that I have woken up this morning feeling a genuine love for life and an alertness that alcohol suppresses to the point of genuine depression and a sense of utter hopelessness. It would be so easy to let my guard down and convince myself that I would never drink again at the realisation of this fact but that would be to trigger a relapse, if not now, but in the future. This is the trigger that tells you that you’re ‘normal’ and that ‘of course you can drink like everyone else! - Why would you ever go back to drinking THREE to FOUR bottles of wine EVERY night?’ Well.... if I pick up a drink again then within one week that will be exactly where I will be. And it will be that way for at least two to four months...
One of my truths was I drank to escape. To escape from pain, grief, anxiety, expectation, pressure and myself. Drinking made it worse. This ‘medicine’ wasn’t only hard to take; and nasty to drink (I don’t even like the taste of wine anymore - how about THAT???) - but it was also self defeating. It made my symptoms worse.
Another one of my truths is that I drank because I got bored. Well, I got bored because I am boring. That’s not me being self effacing. It’s a reality. There is nothing stopping me running, reading, weight lifting, dining, climbing, knitting(!), painting, visiting, socialising etc. instead of just sitting in my study drinking for six to eight hours... on my own.... EVERY night.
In the mornings I sit by candlelight as my wife and pooch sleep upstairs in silence (we live in the country in the middle of the UK in a smallish village). It’s a good time to reflect on my life (I’ve not long turned 50 years old) and I watch the candles flickering and it’s a useful visual simile of life. As the candle burns down morning by morning then so does my time on this planet. It really hits home when every day in the news you see that such and such died aged 61 or whoever famous passed away aged 72... and you think ‘maybe not THAT long left sunshine - how you going to make the best of it?’
I try to remind myself that I won the sperm lottery every day (when I’m sober at least). It was millions to one my little sperm won the race to the egg. It was then millions to one I was born into a nice family. It was then millions to one I was born in a good country. It was then millions to one I was born with a decent brain. It was then millions to one I was born in good health. In other words MY existence is trillions to one in terms of amazing good luck. It’s about time I started to be grateful and act accordingly then.
Over and out.
JT
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,278
Great morning reflections like always JT and what an awesome way to look at it, winning the sperm race lol
We do spend so much time doing nothing but drinking, it's a wonder that anything actually got done..
Tonight I'm clearing out my wardrobe, well overdue, trying to declutter slowly what I can.. I'm a bit believer in simplicity and minimalism but I live with someone who is the opposite, hence why we maybe don't agree on the same things a lot, so I'm clearing my stuff.. Feels really good..
We do spend so much time doing nothing but drinking, it's a wonder that anything actually got done..
Tonight I'm clearing out my wardrobe, well overdue, trying to declutter slowly what I can.. I'm a bit believer in simplicity and minimalism but I live with someone who is the opposite, hence why we maybe don't agree on the same things a lot, so I'm clearing my stuff.. Feels really good..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,695
Red, I have seen The Power of Now Oprah and Eckhart interview but I dont think I have seen the A New Earth one. Enjoy your de-cluttering. I too am very minimalist (except for my garden that is a lil over the top 
) and live a very simple life which I love.
) and live a very simple life which I love.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,278
Originally Posted by Zura
Red, I have seen The Power of Now Oprah and Eckhart interview but I dont think I have seen the A New Earth one. Enjoy your de-cluttering. I too am very minimalist (except for my garden that is a lil over the top ) and live a very simple life which I love.
) and live a very simple life which I love.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,278
Tomorrow we have a Xmas lunch at work that caters for the whole hospital, in the past years I always joked why couldn't they have supplied bubbles, but am so thankful that they don't now..
After work will be a challenge tomorrow as its Friday and the voice will be out, I had asked my partner to go to the movies to watch Ford vs Ferrari so that i had something to keep me away from the booze, however that's what set him off yesterday so not sure if I should bring it up again.
Saturday night will be hard as it's my partners Xmas do, thankfully there will only be 8 of us so it's small and easier as I met them all last year but will still be struggle and then a champagne bfast at my sisters with her kids and my dad plus partners, I've done this sober before so I know I can do it again and I never ever except for Xmas day drink wine in the morning..
I take my hat off to all of us on here giving up in the silly season, I think its the hardest time of the year but probably the wisest time..
Anyway, 11pm here in NZ so I'm off to bed..
Goodnight..
After work will be a challenge tomorrow as its Friday and the voice will be out, I had asked my partner to go to the movies to watch Ford vs Ferrari so that i had something to keep me away from the booze, however that's what set him off yesterday so not sure if I should bring it up again.
Saturday night will be hard as it's my partners Xmas do, thankfully there will only be 8 of us so it's small and easier as I met them all last year but will still be struggle and then a champagne bfast at my sisters with her kids and my dad plus partners, I've done this sober before so I know I can do it again and I never ever except for Xmas day drink wine in the morning..
I take my hat off to all of us on here giving up in the silly season, I think its the hardest time of the year but probably the wisest time..
Anyway, 11pm here in NZ so I'm off to bed..
Goodnight..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
I've been hoping to find something new and recovery related, so thanks for the Eckhart Tolle idea. I've seen one of his programs but it was a long time ago. I'm going to watch it tonight.
This is day two again for me. I hate that it has taken me so long to get back into sobriety. All of your posts are like magic to me, helping me to get my mind and heart back into recovery. The only good part of it being such a struggle is that I will remember this the next time my AV starts egging me to drink.
That will probably happen in about 9 hours, on my way home from work. I am going to set a podcast up on my phone to listen to on the drive home.
Thanks so much to all of you!
This is day two again for me. I hate that it has taken me so long to get back into sobriety. All of your posts are like magic to me, helping me to get my mind and heart back into recovery. The only good part of it being such a struggle is that I will remember this the next time my AV starts egging me to drink.
That will probably happen in about 9 hours, on my way home from work. I am going to set a podcast up on my phone to listen to on the drive home.
Thanks so much to all of you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 593
Another great post JT. Thanks. You remind me to THINK more. I used to do that a lot.
Two cats beside me because, as I always have to remind them this time of year, "It's too cold for kitties." Lol, they never can figure that out, love to go out day or night. Willy (aka Snowcat) loves it completely, goes racing around through the snow. Doug the Elder, not so much.
Venus, two words: heated throw. Bought one yesterday and OMG. We don't heat our crummy big old house overmuch (no point since it just pours out the walls). But this! Luxury.
Stay warm, or stay cool, as the case may be. In all cases please stay sober.
Two cats beside me because, as I always have to remind them this time of year, "It's too cold for kitties." Lol, they never can figure that out, love to go out day or night. Willy (aka Snowcat) loves it completely, goes racing around through the snow. Doug the Elder, not so much.
Venus, two words: heated throw. Bought one yesterday and OMG. We don't heat our crummy big old house overmuch (no point since it just pours out the walls). But this! Luxury.
Stay warm, or stay cool, as the case may be. In all cases please stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Good morning from Midwest USA.
This truly is the best time of day. I think most clearly and productively in the quiet. My children won’t get up for a bit, so I’m going to go pray then make my to do list for Christmas.
I plan to organize, clean, and start wrapping today. Later, we have basketball so that will keep me occupied tonight.
Have a great day. I’m thankful for each one of you. Any who have fallen by the wayside, please come back soon!
This truly is the best time of day. I think most clearly and productively in the quiet. My children won’t get up for a bit, so I’m going to go pray then make my to do list for Christmas.
I plan to organize, clean, and start wrapping today. Later, we have basketball so that will keep me occupied tonight.
Have a great day. I’m thankful for each one of you. Any who have fallen by the wayside, please come back soon!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: DC
Posts: 383
Hi everyone. Brisk morning in DC. I'm not a cold weather fan but it seems appropriate for the holidays.
JT - I drank to escape and out of boredom. And because it was Tuesday or raining or I deserved it or or or...everything seemed better with a buzz or when drunk. Wrong. What I did was escape from everything and never did the work on my issues or had clarity of mind to process and deal with them.
I'm doing it now sober whether I like it or not. I can't have the life I want and drink, so it's that simple in concept and looking at time to heal and deal.
2 weeks for me now and onward we all go together!
JT - I drank to escape and out of boredom. And because it was Tuesday or raining or I deserved it or or or...everything seemed better with a buzz or when drunk. Wrong. What I did was escape from everything and never did the work on my issues or had clarity of mind to process and deal with them.
I'm doing it now sober whether I like it or not. I can't have the life I want and drink, so it's that simple in concept and looking at time to heal and deal.
2 weeks for me now and onward we all go together!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
Originally Posted by Pouncer
Maybe I am naive, but that kind of cold weather seems seem a bit cozy. Is it really as bad as everyone says it is?
[Home alone for the first time in weeks. SR is babysitting me right now.
]
[Home alone for the first time in weeks. SR is babysitting me right now.
]So right now 25F is absolutely freezing for me.
Hope your night was lovely.
s xx
Originally Posted by ODAATCAT
The bewitching hour hit again just before leaving work, but I managed to pick up some online Christmas gifts I ordered, a few produce items and quickly drove home. Whew, I'll be glad when I break that routine!
I lost my last cat nearly two years ago, and I still miss her. I still have a hyperactive German Shepherd who, at five, shows no sign of reaching maturity any time soon.
Day 5 nearly done, onward and upward we go!
I lost my last cat nearly two years ago, and I still miss her. I still have a hyperactive German Shepherd who, at five, shows no sign of reaching maturity any time soon.
Day 5 nearly done, onward and upward we go!
Awesome love.I lost Venus 3 + years ago.....I still miss her like crazy.
s
Originally Posted by Jewel72
No temptation at the grocery store. Thanks for tagging along in spirit, Venus!
Ending another sober day feeling healthy and grateful. Time for reading then sleep. Night all.
Ending another sober day feeling healthy and grateful. Time for reading then sleep. Night all.
❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,446
Originally Posted by Red78
There's a temptation everytime I go at the moment with all the Xmas tastings on at the one I go too..
We will go with you every time you shop.
❤️
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