Day 3
 

Had a fitful night's sleep but at least I slept some.. the plan for today is exercise, work, eat healthy, and go back to the same meeting. My wife and maybe my sister will be joining me.

Day Three is a very good thing.

I honestly believe without the Ativan I would be getting zero sleep. Thank God my doc approved the med detox. I'm honestly thinking of asking her to continue the Ativan just before bed while I'm going through my CBT-I therapy. I fear the only thing that would cause me to even think about relapsing is several nights of no sleep. One day at a time though.

Ativan...I would be careful with that. Benzos are a slippery slope. They're basically booze in a pill.

I had those same irrational fears. "What if I can't sleep? I can't function without sleeeeeeeeeeeep."

:willy

For the first couple weeks or so (no meds, just herbal tea and exercise) I had sleep problems, but I would eventually catch up. The body will heal, if you let it.

Don't sweat the sleep thing cantsleep. How does your head and body feel this morning? That's the reward right there. Have a great Day 3 and go work out until you are cross-eyed!!!

Yes I'm well versed in benzos as I have a long history of anxiety. My doc has me on a month taper off and the plan is to see how I do for a few weeks after that. I've never ever abused prescription pills (always take as directed) and see the usefulness when absolutely needed. I'll be working with a therapist any day now to actually address the root of the insomnia and the goal is to be 100% med free. I'm just overthinking as usual and sharing my obsessive thoughts with you guys and gals. Thanks for the input!

Oh and luckily my doc is VERY conservative so they will not send me down a bad road knowing I'm in recovery. I'm in good hands I believe.

Oh, we can definitely relate to the over-thinking.

Or at least, I can.

Brain. Please to stahp. Thank you.


I have had lifelong anxiety, started when I was seven. I took all kind of pills for anxiety - always as prescribed. They work. Problem is that after a while they don't work as well and doctors will just keep adding more. When I was on benzos I was sober...until the benzos stopped working as well and I started having breakthrough anxiety. I didn't like how that felt so one day...

...I had a drink. 18 years sober down the drain. It took me seven years to be back sober and it was seven years of so many meds, so much alcohol. Miserable. Truly.

Danger.

I am far better off with no meds. Still have the anxiety, but I've learned that it does pass and I don't have to drink or take a pill.

Oh, I just saw that your doc is conservative. Good. Maybe he won't give you any more. :wink3:

Mine (Harvard educated!!) just kept throwing more pills at it.

Thank you so much for your input. Breaking 18 years of sobriety must have felt horrible. I'm glad you turned it around. Currently I have no tools to manage anxiety (other than the 2 links you sent me for box breathing and 4-7-8) so that's why I'm on a wait list to start CBT-I. Ever since I started tapering and got down to 2 drinks the anxiety during the day has been 90% better so I believe the withdrawals were responsible for most of the daytime anxiety. Mine typically starts building around 8:00 PM (when it's time to start winding down for bed).

Just did 30 mins of HIIT. doing 10 min and then 20 mins of yoga. I'm gonna exercise this demon (pun intended).

That's really good to hear. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your doctor.

I expressed concern about the Ativan and that I didn't want to trade one addiction for another. They said they are doing a month taper and not to worry. Also if they were to agree to give me a bezo for just before bed my CBT-I doc would do a 3 month taper. I believe I'm in very good hands.

My Dr gave me benzo's for detox. Mixed bag... Did they help, Yes. Did I like the way they made me feel, No! I quit the benzo taper early. They made me feel horrible. I was a zombie. Although I didnt think they affected my normal routine, I walked like a drunk, talked like drunk and felt like a drunk. The detox anxiety sure wasnt there though. Could just be my bodies reaction too them.

I abused alcohol for 30+ years until 18 months ago. For me, freedom from anxiety is a huge benefit of sobriety (as is blissful, happy, easy sleep - I'm lucky that by nature sleep comes easily as long as I don't drink).

Once I got a month of sobriety under my belt the anxiety disappeared.

Maybe your dose was too high? I felt maybe slightly groggy but that's it.

Also holy **** yoga is harder than I remember!

Drank too much coffee this morning (I'm really sensitive) and had a mini panic attack. Thats wasn't fun.

Went to my 2nd meeting and tonight my wife joined me. It was a great experience. A man who has been 29 years sober was so nice and bought us a Big Book unprompted. Where else do people do stuff like that? The plan is 90 meetings in 90 days as recommended by several people.