So anxious right now! feel nauseous
 

- last 4th- interview over the computer. Went yesterday in person.
I feel like I bombed with this last person. I feel like I sounded dumb and awful.
Heart racing/sick to my stomach. Ruminating. I felt so comfortable
until the last person. This is a part time job that would get me out of the house in a professional enviornment and I will still be able to
get to my meetings and work on my recovery.
I just hope it works out. so tense and no appetite. gosh. alcoholism on fire.

Hang in there!! We are always so much harder on ourselves than others. Be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there! That is not easy itself.

So good to share your feelings here. Get the anxiety written down. It will pass and you are doing So Well!!!!

its insane and insidious that a pint of vodka or a glass of wine would put my mind at ease tell me I rocked it and even If I didn't rock it- it is their loss. so sick of my liquid courage and false bravado medicine I know it will take this feeling away.
The less than, low level confidence I am feeling. I have done a lot of damage.
I hate phone interviews. And through the computer is even worse and plain choppy. thanks again.

I understand completely about the liquid courage vodka can provide. It was my drink of choice for years and I thought it was my helpmate in any situation. Then the progression of alcoholism took me over and I had to drink it all the time to feel anything. My body couldn't take it anymore and a cop found me by the side of the road with a 3.8 BAC passed out. He called it a suicide attempt, which I now agree with.
You don't have to progress with this disease anymore. Please hang in there. YOU are so worth it.

I had the anxiety thing pretty bad at first. Deep breathing exercises and maybe a nap helped. :grouphug:

Thank you everyone. I am starting to crash from the intense worry about my non-articulate performance. So I am getting sleepy- LOL I just ate something- and I have two pbutter cups stashed in my bag...hehehe

oh goodness. thanks for the support. The fear is the rejection. I also think one phone interview and an 2 hour FtoF with three people another follow up this morning - I felt good.. was there really a need for one more :) I was all interviewed out.

anyhow thanks for listening- I am in for the night and off to find my stash of candy.

Love me some candy therapy. I am on a gummy bears kick. There is an awesome candy store next to my work. It is dangerous!!! lol

:You_Rock_ I got me some spree's too. Love savoring the sugar
in new sobriety.

4 interviews is a lot at once, or almost at once - I hope you get good results Faith :)

D

So, worst case you GOT TO a 4th interview. Maybe it wasnt as bad as you think. At least you did something, you're trying. It's better than just drinking your time and chances away. You earned this interview you can probably earn another one if you have to. Learn from this interview and try to get better at it. Its progres, keep searching, keep sending resumes.

Next interview you will probably have even more sobriety, more interview experience, a clearer head.

I hope it works out for you!! I am so happy I am retired. I cannot even imagine having to go through that. It becomes more and more complicated as time goes on.

My prayers and support to you Faith. My default is anxiety and it sucks, as well as being exhausting. That you went through with the 4 interviews, and still kept your recovery in tact is testament to your inner strength and resilience. Well done you.

I am also on a job hunt. I am seeking to return to teaching, even at my older age and I'm hoping to be hired soon. I've been doing this search since August.....currently substitute teaching and waiting.....

If you are an AA, it was suggested that I ask to be placed where I can be useful to my higher power. My job is out there and I am doing the footwork....been to too many interviews, so rejection, just means it isn't My Job, yet!

I wish you the best and hope you get what you are seeking!!!
Love and hugs,
~SB

Faith, I have my fingers crossed for you. It sounds like you did well, probably a lot better than you think. I hope it works. :)

SO heard back from the interviewer /contact person
sent me an email that I would be hearing from the HR/talent acq person today.
They seem to be in charge of on-boarding and paperwork so praying this is possible.
(I thought that this role would reach out in the beginning)?
Not sure what this means? No rejection email so that is a plus. I did not get a phone call. I will have to wait to and see what happens tomorrow.
Gosh sitting on my hands all day. Another successful day alcohol free!

That sounds like good cause for optimism. Fingers crossed for you Faith.

That sounds good, Faith. :)

Good luck! I've been getting a lot of practice at interviews lately. Anxiety from the first couple was insane but I've gotten used to it now. I have work to do for time being but it surrounds me with alcohol and I'm ready to get away from that!

Thanks! I read your post earlier. Keep us posted. I am sure our HP's will find the right work path for us. We will never give up. Have faith. A grateful heart will never drink. I lose sight of that so quickly.
:grouphug: