Posting instead of drinking
 

I am still in a horrible frame of mind. Angry, resentful and exhausted. The perfect hat trick for a relapse.

I'm on week 9 and this is always the danger zone for me. It's also a bad time of year. Weather is miserable, it's dark all the time and its ramping up for the Christmas break. Two weeks of festive nightmare.

Sorry for being so negative. I'm just sick of this. I want my positive and grateful attitude back. I have my stuff packed to go swimming, counselling and a meeting planned in the next couple of days.

I need to turn around and keep going in the right direction or I'm going to end up drinking again and I'm struggling to connect with why I don't want to.

So here I am on a Sunday night. I'm sober and I'm posting instead of drinking.

Well then keep on posting if it helps! Maybe go back through your post history and see the exact reasons why you quit and how good you've felt when the days aren't so low. Also: just get through right now. This hour. This day. Do you have a sobriety counter app? If so open it up and think about how awful it would feel to have to hit the reset button.

Indoor swimming is an awesome idea!

I'm sorry you're struggling right now, Gabe. It sounds like you have some good plans in place to help you through this. If there are events around Christmas that are stressing you, can you consider skipping them?

I've heard about these apps, I'll have a look and see if I can find out about them. Posting does help. It stops me drifting from here and it helps me focus on the commitment I've may. The support really helps, thank you.

The one I have is for android and is called "Sobriety Timer". You can add anything in there that you were addicted to. I've added Alcohol, Marijuana, and Nail Biting (my poor teeth were begging me to stop).

It's one of the best things for me. It really reduces anxiety and gives my mental health a boost. I've not been well, so not been able to go. I think that's a big part of feeling like I do now. X

I'm skipping most of them. I am going to do Christmas day with the family but just for a few hours. I'm scared of all the time I'll have. 16 days. I'm going to spend this week working out a timetable to fill the time with positive things.

Holidays are a big problem for me. I've done this 3 times this year; had 2/3 months sober then relapsed when I'm off work. I'm just feeling defeated but I'll have to dig deep and work out a way to get through it. Thanks Anna.

That sounds really good. I'll check it out. Thank you 💞

I'm new to this so I'm just spit-balling but what about doing some volunteer work to fill the time? Anything to get you out of the house and away from boredom.

Look I feel you. Go take that dip. Get out of Your head. Let some Zen take over. Holidays? Are just Holidays . dont worry bout that. Focus on the now thats it. Hang in there. You won't regret it. ✌

Ah, thanks man 💞 I think getting out my head any way that doesn't involve booze is a good idea just now. This can't last forever.

Okay, I'm feeling pissed off but for the right reasons. I'm NOT going to get stuck here.

Swimming stuff packed, clothes ironed and alarm set.

Thank you everyone. Will check in tomorrow and will start taking control back 💞💞

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I'm on week 9 and this is always the danger zone for me.

You are going to get through this continue to week 10, 11 and 12.
the danger zone will be a thing of the past.

Sorry for being so negative. I'm just sick of this. I want my positive and grateful attitude back.

Sometimes I just have to go with the negative. It will make the positive that much better when it does return. And you are walking through your fear and posting here! That is growth for sure

[B] ramping up for the Christmas break. Two weeks of festive nightmare.

Try and take this two week break as a time of self care/not worry about anything besides nurturing yourself and rest.

I always felt like hell coming back from a *break* from work when I was drinking alcoholically. No quality sleep/hungover/sick from overindulging in more poison than normal from all the *free* time

Sounds like you have great plans for exercise , mind clearing and more time for recovery.
Congrats on nine weeks that is amazing

The title of your thread is so true- much more productive. Well done Gabe.

Glad you're feeling a little more positive Gabe :)
Keep moving forward!

D

I can relate to anyone that says "two weeks of festive nightmare". That stuff isn't negative to me at all, it's just reality. Keep up the good work.

around here, there are agencies that are crying for volunteers to serve meals to others during this festive nightmare, or deliver baskets, help at the foodbank...that kind of thing.
connecting that way might help with getting your head space back in a more positive direction.
just thinking of least’s constant encouragement towards gratitude.

This is a hard time of year, Gabe. I’m so glad you posted. You are not alone. Glad you are skipping some of the events and going for a swim. I also find massage and yoga classes to be a good way to de stress and manage my feelings. What about also reading a good recovery book? There are so many great ones.

Keep being strong. I know you can do it!

Posting instead of drinking is a good idea. :) I second the suggestion of volunteering somewhere. Swimming would also be good. :)

Whatever you do, just don't drink! :)

Hi Gabe,

Sounds like you’re doing well, and you have a plan which is a good thing.

Thanks very much everyone for your posts. I managed to get up at 6am. Just heading out for a swim now.

I feel a bit stupid. I know exactly why this happened. I got ill for a week then my whole routine went out the window. I just got really stuck in feeling miserable.

Well, hopefully this is the first day of getting back into my recovery plan. Its a good start anyway. I'm a bit rushed for time just now but will reply properly tonight.

Thanks again 💞

Glad you got going on your day Gabe - and I have to plan in the small, literal re-boots sometimes. You mention wanting that grateful feeling etc back - sometimes when I'm in some cycle of "sucky" I make myself stop and literally say the first 5 things that come to mind that I am grateful for, which usually includes something mundane like lip balm! Repeat another round if necessary- something should pop up to distract and re-track your mind....even if it's a snack after swimming that you look forward to... ;)

Posting instead of drinking sounds like a good step. Focus on something other than drinking. Granted, posting to alcoholics is still about drinking, but it's better than just sitting their stewing in anger and resentment. And you also get feedback, some of which is actually useful.

Also spend some time forcing yourself to think about what you are grateful for. You probably won't get the pink cloud back. That level of insane contentment doesn't last forever, but think about what's good in your life. Perhaps that's not having to drink to solve your problems, but it can be anything. Go to a different part of your brain, and stay there for a while.

Thanks again everyone!

It had been my intention to answer everyone individually but I am totally shattered! In the best possible way. I feel so much better. It's the first day I've had for a while, where I have felt happy. It was lovely.

My thoughts are:

- It was setting the intention and following it through.
- Physical exercise.....endorphins etc. Just feeling physically better.
- Excited more than anxious - two sides of the same coin, often for me.

The BIGGEST thing was just posting and saying I felt like crap, that I was struggling and that I needed to turn things around. I've done that a couple of times now, where before I probably would have drank.....

I think partly it helps me to admit to myself where I am and how I am feeling but it also challenges me to DO something about it. What's the point of asking for help, then not doing anything to help yourself - right?

I'm by no means out of the wood but it has kick started me getting back on the right path. I have counselling and a meeting tomorrow, both which always help.

I have some good ideas for turning the idea of Christmas holidays into a real positive. I loved the volunteering suggestion or maybe some community events. Lots of swimming and getting out, meetings and stuff to do. It's when I am sitting in the house that I start to feel really down.

Big thanks again and hopefully some more positive posts to follow :You_Rock_ :wavey:

Great post.

so good to see that being proactive worked out well for you:)

Morning. It was hard getting up today and didn't sleep to well but I'm ready and off swimming again. It's been really nice to spend some early morning time reading here. I've always pushed, pushed, pushed for a ROUTINE in early recovery but I wonder if one can just evolve quite naturally.

I have counselling this morning after a break of a couple of weeks. I am really glad. I want to figure out some better ways to cope when I'm not well and my mood is really low.

I still have a voice telling me that drinking at Christmas is gonna happen. I have two weeks to get strong, sort my head out and bury that voice. I don't want to stay in this cycle of 12 week relapse. Its been 2 years. I can do better and I really can't start over again.

One step in front of the other and some self-belief. Have a good day everyone 💞

If anyone has any thoughts about a good morning recovery/exercise routine, I'd appreciate it.

Daily exercise is always a good thing. I personally don't think it matters what time of day, but your question is if early morning exercises helps recovery.

I've never tried that particular regimen or used exercise as part of recovery. However, I did become much more active and obviously more healthy after I got sober, which may support your question about a natural evolution in sobriety. I focused mostly on my commitment to sobriety and the joy and pride I derived from it, and that seemed to be all I needed. I doubt that strategy fits everyone, however.

I think what is key is whether it helps YOU. And YOU are the best judge of that. Also, exercise is its own reward and doesn't need any justification beyond itself and the accompanying health benefits.