brighterday1234

2muchpain

Stuff happens, no big deal. You run into all kinds of people in AA. The strange thing is that I was suppose to take a road trip with this guy, but he backed out cause I replaced. Can't blame him cause he didn't want to deal with a drunk on the road, though being around a member of AA, there's no way I'd drink. Hey, my fault. John

Dee74

Sorry you missed out in the trip John.

I'm not sure if you're still drinking or not but if you need our help John all you need to do is ask

D

Hevyn

Always on your team, John.

least

I hope you'll stop drinking. You know as well as I do, it's no good, just makes everything worse.

Sending you hugs.

snitch

Some people are sicker than others in the rooms. This guy may be sober but doesn't sound very spiritually fit to me. Not one person in those rooms is immune to alcohol. You are not a loser you are an alcoholic and you wouldn't be the first alcoholic to relapse and you won't be the last. What someone else thinks of us in none of our business. We are there to save our lives. Principles before personalities 😉

Edited to add. My ex sponsor is my ex sponsor for that very reason. She said to me if I wanted someone to agree with me and stroke my head I was with the wrong sponsor. I did not want someone to agree with me or stroke my head but a little compassion wouldn't go amiss. I thanked her for her time and effort and moved on to someone more suitable.

August252015

One thing I heard in AA early on is "take what you want and leave the rest." I have taken that not as pick and choose the steps and program work, but rather the whole principles over personalities thing, for example. The program doesn't equal the people, and vice versa. Dismissing folks who behave like that person, or in some more impactful cases not going to a certain meeting or breaking up with a sponsor have been good for me.

I have to make my choices to stay sober, like we all do.

I haven't ever thought of SR or AA or any other program and recovery resource as a curse. That would be self-sabotaging. Some help us more than others, or more at one time than another, but finding and using what DOES help and work to keep me sober is my jam.

2muchpain

I didn't mean SR is a curse, I meant that having a long history on SR can be a curse. John

August252015

I gotcha.

Derringer

I'm not excusing the L sign guy because that is just a total jerk thing to do, but logically ... would it stop you going to get more booze and ultimately solve the drink problem if someone did that to you at the liquor store ?

Anna

John, I'm glad to see you back and working on your recovery.

2muchpain

I'm getting there. Christmas vacation is coming up which amounts to two weeks off. My plan is to really dig in during those two weeks. I've done it before so I know I can do it again. The reason I'm waiting till then is that as most people know, you can get pretty moody when you quit. I work with kids and, especially this time of year, being moody can create some really bad situations. Keeping up with their moods is a big challenge in itself. I'm drinking very little now so quitting shouldn't be too hard. John

2muchpain

IMHO, someone telling me at an AA meeting a loser is very different than someone doing that at a liquor store. I hope for support and understanding at an AA meeting. Support and understanding aren't two things I look for in a liquor store. John

hopeful4

I think it's important to remember the #1 person you must be accountable to is yourself. Ultimately this board is for support for each other. Life changes, addiction ebbs and flows. People go through hard times and good times. Hopefully everyone here on this board understands that as you should feel free to share what is on your heart.

2muchpain

Thanks. What you posted means a lot to me. Sure would like to share what's really going on with me again. We'll see. And I know that sometimes I can be a little too sensitive. That's my part. I also hope that some people don't read my current posts and decide to go back into the archives. I had a wife that did that all the time, and it only made things worse. LOL Today is a new day. John

ScottFromWI

Unfortunately our hopes are not always the same as reality John. And throwing out the whole solution because of the actions of one is not helpful to you.

You've been down this road before many times, we've been down it with you. Waiting until next week to quit because you might be moody is a horrible excuse to keep drinking. I hope you can put your full effort into it because you are a much different person when you are not drinking.


Then why not do it now?

Dee74

John I say this with love and concern, not as a textual baseball bat....

Maybe SRs not the curse? or the fact that people bring up old posts?

Maybe the curse is the one you keep willingly putting on yourself?

Maybe the curse is the fact that you keep seeing drinking as a preferable option to, I don't know, loneliness, another year gone, people being less than you expect or whatever else drives you back drinking, John?

Whatever the answers are, they're really not in a bottle... man.

If it's not going to be hard to stop, then please...stop.

D

Anna

John, I echo everything that Dee posted. His comments are right on the mark. I hope that you take those words to heart, and make the changes within yourself that will help you to recover.

sugarbear1

I "lurked" on Sober Recovery about 11 years before I could stay stopped. I chose not to write much, if anything while in that state of mind, but I read and read and read.

We're hard-heads for sure!! It took me 25 years to finally stay stopped. It often takes what it takes and the timing and words may just hit us in the face!

2muchpain

Well, being moody during a normal day is one thing, dealing with several classes of 6 graders excited about the holidays while talking to a kid that is thinking of suicide or cutting herself and going through the process to make sure she is safe is not a good time for me to be dealing with my moods or personal problems. That was my Monday. How about you? John